#Emotions #mum #loss

#dailyprompt describe a family Member

MY MUM

Good evening, Well this prompt made me think of my Mum, she passed away on 24th June 2024

Not a day goes by without thinking about her or wishing she was still here to speak to, I often ask myself what would my mum say?, what would my mum do?.

She would always send me in the right direction give the best advise.

I am still processing her loss and navigating life without her.

I had to write a speech for her funeral describing her, It was so very difficult to write and capture the essence of mum in a short speech because I had a lifetime of memories with her.

It was harder to get up in front of all my family, her partner and his family, Mum’s friends and just read what I wrote.

But somehow I got through the day. Instead of her standing beside me holding my hand giving me courage, she was a few meters away in her coffin and as hard as it was I still felt her presence with us all that day.

Writing has been more source of comfort for many years and through grief it gave me a new passion and outlet for expressing my life and those around me. Our good days our bad days and our just ok days.

My mum’s funeral Speach

Mum, Odette, Odie, Nanny, Nannie mobile, Det. Mummy day, Aunty Odette Friend. Sister

A few words my to describe mum, mum meant a lot to a lot of people. She was kind, caring, loving and always there to lend an ear in a supportive manner. She always accepted and encouraged people to be the best they can.

At the very heart of mum was her friends and family.

Her mum and dad always in her thoughts. Jackie Paul, Eve, her closeness with peter and of course her baby brothers Ni and Nick.

You can rest assured as we say goodbye to mum here she is with nan grandad and peter having a cuppa and catch up and all the other family.

One thing mum knew a lot about was how to throw a party. We shall all remember the home made party food, her phoning round everyone with invites. Do you all remember the year 2000 party that was all mums doing? The weddings, birthdays, and funerals she was always at the forefront planning. And making it run smoothly. She was fiercely protective of all her family.

Her friendships With: Brenda, Marge and Kay.

I am sure Brenda will remember the time mum order a truck load of manure to be delivered on her drive way. Always playing practical jokes on each other. Mum and kay had a long friendship with many memories,

One being they went away together  to Skegness and mum fell in the sand dunes  She got up quicker then she fell because she was hoping no one saw her. She was laughing so hard. Kay was frozen to the spot didn’t know what to do.

Marge over 50 years of friendship always in each other’s houses a cuppa and a natter, parties , or just spending time talking I know they probably share their hearts out to each other and had many more memories between them .

I got to have girly nights out with my mum and sometimes Hayley at karaoke. Some of my fondest fun memories of mum were the karaoke nights we spent together.

 She was a very proud grandmother of all her grandchildren the way she talked about them lit up her eyes.

Her nightly Talk on the phone with Hayley.

First there was my mum and dad just over 25 years of marriage

Mum and dad had Hayley, Chris Faye and John. Life wasn’t always easy.

Money was sparse but we live a humble life full of love and guidance. I think it was just the times they were in them days.

Mum had fond memories of all of us at Nan and grandads on the weekend. Jumble sales, scrabble, cooking together dressing from the box of old clothes under nans stairs.  Her weekly Slimming world, evenings with Eve.

Even though mum and dad were separated, they still had a marvellous friendship and care for each other.

 Always making it easier for us all to spend time together as a family.

Mum met Marty and moved to Wilshire to be with him.

Marty and mum really loved each other, and made a life together.

It wasn’t just Marty but also Marty’s family  especially Marty’s mum Lum who mum thought of as a mum too and his children they played a huge role in mums life for the last 15 years. Accepted her for who she was loved their Odie. Who can forget mums stories of Vinnie the dog, her caving trips when she phoned us and said if I am not out in 30 mins call the rescue team?

She always knew everyone’s business sometimes before they did. If you did something wrong she would defiantly not be shy in giving you a good telling off but then she would forgive you easily, and love you still and always.

She was an opinionated appointee carer. Even from her hospital bed she would stand up for other patients. She Also looked out for my dad’s brothers and sisters and their children. Always being an aunty you can rely on to talk to she opened her heart and her home for many people through the years.

If you were short on food you can be shore she would send you a food passle so you didn’t go hungry.

She looked after many children over the years and celebrated every achievement they made.

Words just cannot describe how empty life feels without her not being able to just pick up the phone and talk to her is the hardest thing. She was a fighter right till the end not letting pain stop her.

If you were linked on Facebook with mum you probably would of seen all of the posts where she describes her love for her family her children her siblings.

But for now I will end this speech with a few messages I think describes mum and the kind of person she was.

I remember your mum being so kind and loving she cleaned my knee when I fell over roller skating.

Your mum was a beautiful person and I remember all of our laughs together.

She was a special lady and I have many fond memories of her from when we were little.

I have very fond memories of her when I used to come and play.

Her families love and support from each other is a credit to her she was pure love and thoughtfulness.

She was one in a million.

So many beautiful memories I will cherish from my childhood with auntie Odette

She was truly a fighter I remember her from our school days

I will always remember her childminding me .

Odette was such a lovely lady my children loved being looked after by her.

Aunty Odette will be dearly missed.

Sleep peacefully nanny in heaven.

I am honoured to have been able to call Odette my sister in law even for a short time but she will always be and I love her dearly.

Mum was a lovely woman she was always helping other people she helped me a lot when I lived in crawley.

We worked together many years ago she was a hard working lady.

Odette Hord such a beautiful, humorous, smiling regardless of what was happening. Heaven gained an angel.

Hit with shock and huge emotion and disbelief she will always be remembered by me a friendship spanning 50 years.

Mum was never the kind of person to walk away from people or friendships when she loved you it was for life.

Odette always had a smile on her face and kept us all going.

aunty Odette thanks for being the rock of the family.

You were always the rock that kept this family together.

She was the rock for the whole family I will always remember her as bringing home a fist full of jam and marmalade for her trips to Butlin’s and having them on toast before school in the morning. she is one of the women who raised me to be my true self and never to take what anyone says to heart.to be strong even when I didn’t feel it.

I grew up in her living room we were always so close.

As the years passed even where we were separated by distance we remained close.

As sad as this is. I am glad she is no longer in pain. No longer has to bear sickness and aches and worries.

Now she can rest comfortably noing everyone around her loves her.

These are just a few of the messages we have had since Mum passed. It’s really comforting to know she was as loved as she gave love.

I guess I will have to leave this here. I could speak about mum forever and never really fully explain Mum. The only bad habit she had was not accepting help when she needed it. Her independence was so very important to her and kept her going.  She always putting others before herself. If she could say something right now in this moment she would say make yourself a priority to.

With that it’s time to say Goodbye Mum. I love you always and forever to the moon and back. Infinity and beyond.

Now I lay me down to Sleep I pray the lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I Wake I pray the lord my soul to take.

Your Home Fly Free.

We love you Mum

Planning mum’S final day

Planning Mum’s funeral was pretty smooth going. I themed it like Sunflower’s

I worked with Hayley making the table settings memory book pictures for the tables.

Making sure those who wanted to speak could and having others memories and speeches sent off for the celebrant to read in her speach. planning and timing the music and speeches with the celebrant and my dad. Including Mum’s partner in everything I could. Being that he lived far away and mum was being buried in our home town.

Order Of Service

Funeral preparations

We put all the love we felt for Mum into the preparations

The Flowers

In her life time Mum had many allergies. So we were always cautious when buying flowers but these were so pretty and the sunflowers were a representation of the sunshine Mum brought to our lives

The day of funeral started off with one last journey to our family home before she passed Mum said she wanted to come home to where her children and grandchildren lived. Her hometown where she grew up with her brothers and sisters.

So she arrived there

Mum Came Home

The Wake

The wake was held at my brother’s house while i planned the funeral he worked on his garden planting flowers. Putting up gazebo’s to shelter from heat/ we tried to make it as happy and care free not a place of sadness but a place to get together and celebrate Mums life. to remember the good times we had with mum. Mum would of loved to be there with all of us.

We let the children play and use the pool a great release of emotions after a difficult morning.

It was a very hot day

The children had a lot of fun getting the adults in pool mum would of found that so funny.

Well i guess that is it for today’s blog

MIss you Mum

I debated whether or not to share this just because its so personal but for my healing and grief process i feel its important to share This is my mum and I loved her.

Any way Much love Faye