Hi all how has your day been today,

Book news

Finally got through to the liquidators today, and promises to give minutes of meeting still not been pasted on to us, again they tried making us pay £100 for the digital copy and indesign. I know they said a few authors had payed for there’s and I feel sorry that they hold all our books to ranson in affect, the authors in a very desperate situation, there really should be so much more protection out Thier for authors in the event of liquidation.

First I don’t have £100 spare at the moment , I am Saving up for Jake’s school trip to Pompey next year, he really wants to go, hopefully his autism won’t be a reason he isn’t allowed. That is what happened with Niki’s school trip to Spain when she went to that mainstream. School they wouldn’t fund the support for the trip, she never went into Spanish again after that.

I can’t justify handing over £100 if I don’t have my digital copy or InDesign copy I’m my hands before any money is handed over , there is a saying once bitten twice shy.

Paying once and losing is bad enough , right now I don’t trust them to give me my book if I payed the money doesn’t make good business Sence to do that. I want it sorted quick so I can get moving with it, and part of me says what the heck just pay, bit there is a massive part of me that wants to stand up for all is authors and say this is not right we payed , you deliver what we payed for or refund us money. Every little tiny bit of my work on this book is out there except the book, the details of learning and setting up blogs and author pages , raising money to pay for the book, setting up the author signing. So much more , I always am dedicated to things I care about my family ,those I work with, my book.

I always like to go a little bit further, then expected it is just who I am.

Jake’s panic attack

Jake came home from school today and said he had a panic attack in class , home economics he said his helper didn’t show up either, and he usually has one for this perticular lesson. The reason for the panic is that he has learnt to make rolls and plated mini bread at school and it was something new he tried and liked and could eat, the teacher came over with poppy seeds he asked what they were and she proceeded to tip them on his bread, I don’t know how many times we have to mention Jake’s eating issues,.if his helper was there they would have known not to do that.

His Eating is still one step forward and two back, but at least he won’t give up I will follow up with a email to school to check why support was not there.

Tonight I work the children. All asleep soundly paper work is all done I like to keep a track of Tom’s progress .

We all played games together before settling for stories , Tom made 2 chooses both books about dogs. He laughed when he touched the ones he wanted.

Then the Mary Poppins song sent all three 2 sleep, where they have been for hours now, Tom wanted to hold my hand while he went to sleep his grip is getting so good now we practice this alot with him by putting things in his hands and seeing how long he can hold them.

This pretty much all for today, I Finnish at 10am . We I return home I then have to get Jake to his kungfu lesson by 11.00 before I can go home and rest😀💗

welcome to all new site visitors , many thanks for following, i look forward to reading your posts also.

Today has been another great day the Jake had a good day at school and was even pleased to tell me his maths test went good, i am happy to here this because when he had difficulties and refused to go to school, and we finally got him back through the school gates he got really behind in his maths which originally was one of his strongest subjects. It shows now the support he is receiving at school is having a huge impact on his grade right across all lessons. He hardly leaves his classes and has a new found want for learning. He still doesn’t go outside at lunch even though he has gained confidence, he still doesn’t feel safe to do that yet.

I thought about changing my meet and greet with him after school normally I have to wait in the main entrance for him, he likes to see me there before evening tutor, I did ask if he thought it might be a good idea for me to wait outside but he said that is where you have to wait. he still holds on to set routines even if i try to just back off a little. I have put the idea in his head now so it is a wait till his ready kind of thing.

Niki had her volunteering with the older student’s she really is enjoy this and is really working hard and takes it very seriously. this in turn is helping with her childcare, and health and social care courses she is doing at college. She is working hard and keeping up with her work, being back in mainstream schooling was one of those situations that could of not worked for her but again having the right support has made the transition easier she has even made quite a few friends there now.

Work is busy, this week i have the children as last week my nights got changed. I Can’t wait to work with them again have lots of fun planned and of course the elves have too come too little Tom searches for them with his eyes they make him smile Holly likes holding Emo, Toms favourite one is derrick as he has a wheel chair like him.

Work with Hayley has been excellent this week bit of a health check up week with blood tests, I took her for a treat at the hospital canteen after she loved that.

As to Emo the Emotional Elf Book the liquidators are dragging thier heels, still no promised copy of the minutes of the meeting as promised still no digital copy or in-design copy have arrived, or and they are not returning calls either, I am trying so hard to remain calm with them because it is my book, but also I don’t like feeling angry it is not good for my health, and tends to make my tummy flare up, still waiting for the ulcers to heal.

I am working on an author page on Face book so can connect to people other ways too that also keeps my family one separate just so I can safe guard my kids from any contact with people we dont know. It is why maybe I have been reluctant to add people on thier this way I can add people interested in my book and contacting me as an author. it is still a work in progress at the moment as you can see my life is pretty busy, thats why you often see my post going up late at night, the other reason is my kids have insomnia so I have to stay awake till they sleep, once my head hits the pillow I hear nothing.

That’s all the news for today.

Much love Faye xx

Hi all, here is my feed back from Heather her view of my book really matter because she is a relatively newly published author herself, and also a mother of a child who is autistic, our children. are maybe opposite ends of the spectrum but still we face many of the same issues in finding the right support and placements for our children, while also learning to adapt to our children’s needs. Both journeys as new author’s,mother’s and wife’s.

Are sometimes hard and easy at the same time, our books aimed at different audiences and very different ways of writing styles.

So here is Heather’s review of Emo the Emotional Elf.

Heather Golding -Author

It’s not often I manage to read a book in 1 day, but having received, in the Mail, only yesterday, the delightful book: “EMO The Emotional Elf” by new author Faye Kerry Farmer, about her children’s diagnosis of autism, anxiety and other issues, which is aimed for children to read and was written by a parent, I was intrigued by the similarities of our lives, even though our stories are very different.
On reading the introductory pages of how and why Faye wrote her book, I was immediately drawn to similar words that I’d also written in my book about autism. Such as Faye’s emotional grief about her fears of failing as a mum. Her concerns about her children’s diagnosis, merely being dismissed – and of course her description of the ‘hidden disabilities’ – one of my chapter titles!
So, while Faye has written about similar things, but from her own perspective, about the struggles she has faced with her children with autism, anxiety and other issues, her book is also filled with delightful pictures of her family enjoying a Christmas time together.
And because this book is primarily aimed for children to read, the story moves along at a happy and fun pace, which not only allows the child to read and enjoy the story, it also helps them to understand the many subtle reminders about awareness, as well as certain coping mechanisms that are associated with autism, anxiety and other issues. Adults will also enjoy reading this book, not just for the subtle reminders, but for the moral behind the stories.
So, for parents with young children, who have been diagnosed, or maybe they might just like to read the story, so that they and their children will learn and understand about others who are different to them – then this is the book to read.
Well, done Faye for having the courage and fortitude to write your family story – in an engaging and fun way that also includes children – who are the main focus in your book – as your readers.

All my love and best wishes to you and your family

Hope’s

As soon as my book is available again I truly hope other’s will give it a chance even if they would not normally read that unique bespoke type of book.

I think there are many books that sit on shelves because we rule the out before even trying, I myself as an avid reader have tried and enjoyed extending my book collection and am willing to give something different and new a try. Funny thing is my previewed opinion has changed o. Some books I have read and some how I connect and enjoy many different types now.

Many thanks Faye

2018 saw our best year I a while we still face many challenges on a daily bases which comes with being autistic and having anxiety, depression tourettes but our family face them together every day.

We have had Graduations, exam passes, moving home, blood tests dentists, building relationships,

Hospitals we have raised money for the book and charity, we faced this year with some fears but faced them head on, we worked as a team and as indeviduals, we have cried laughed fallen and got back up.

Nothing will stop our family

We are one of a kind.

We create our own sunshine, even on the hardest of days, we fall out and make up, we build friendships,

We share to help, not hinder we strive to do better each time, we never not try, sometimes we succed and sometimes we don’t.

We talk more now than ever before.

We won’t limit ourselves or other, we guide and lift others along our way.

We are free to do this because we have the right support, sometimes the support fails but we always give it another chance.

Hope you enjoy our best bits of 2018

We wish for all to have the the acceptance we now feel.

Have a beautiful evening

Love Faye XX 💗

So having completely emersed myself In Heather Golding – Author book

Autism On The Frontline

Through a Mother’s Eyes

-The Early years-

Her families story which I must say is heart wrenching, honest and true of Heather’s the children ‘s and her husband Hank journey and all they have had to endure, In thier lifetime. I see many similarities between thier families journey and ours.
I see and feel and understand it , 💯 .
Everything she thinks and feels many families with children who are autistic, whether diagnosed very early or had to wait slightly longer for diagnosis, and in our case when my kids were in double digits and entering pre teen and teenage years. There is one thing that stands out the most across the world that happens thier as well as over this side of the pond. Still huge lack of understanding from an education., Health care, system but also the much needed financial support families rely on,and have to prove they are not scamming to receive.
It is shocking the paper work the moving form school to school, and from one specialist to another. This is loud and clear In Heather’s well written and articulate book.
All the Emotions she felt is the same as adults and children, Who are autistic and thier families.
My children are verbal and have learnt to talk about Thier own feelings and I hope that one day Mathew finds his voice in whatever form of communication he is able to achieve.
I would highly recommend Heather’s book because hearing voices, of parents that speak up for Thier non verbal kids, as well as hearing the voice of those who are verbal an important part of understanding the needs so they can be better met for the children as early as possible. A mother’s instinic about Thier children, is important. The fact they got to where they are at the end of the book. Speaks volumes about that.

Don’t take my word for it take a chance get the book for yourself and just read it is that simple. Many people judge, stare, comment and make assumptions about autistic indeviduals and thier families without being prepared to put themselves in there shoes.

Heather I really respect you for feeling what you feel, honestly writing it and sharing it, and getting up each and every day for the sake of you and your family.

All my love and best wishes

Look forward to read the next stage in your journey 💗💗 and how Mathew is seeing the world xx

Emo the Emotional Elf, Book children’s

Self help

This week is waiting to receive, the digital version so not much to update on the book front yet.

But now this is why I wrote the book on emotions and raise awareness for the things we do, our way of processing the things we go through and bringing stability and and safety to our children’s life for themselves and to help them live a forfilled and rewarding life regardless of the challenges they face.

Weekend relaxing

The weekends here are pretty laid back, catching up on things you don’t get time for in the week. I was suppose to be working Friday but my days for changed at really short notice, so instead was relaxing with my Family I still had Hayley Friday night as is usual just not the other children. But that’s changed to next Friday instead now.

Saturday saw us sitting in the front room watching Harry potter movies,

Changing Niki’s hair to black a d redoing her side shaves. End result looked great she is happy with it.

My husband was in charge of the cooking this weekend😀

Sunday Declutter

Sunday saw Niki and me carry on with decluttering her room we made so much progress on this, Niki is a bit of a collector and tends not to want to get rid of things, but her new positive attitude is continuing. 12 black sacks of things now sorted into three organise piles.

Rubbish, collecting but keeping, and charity shops. The room is more organised and easier for her to manage again.

Her wardrobe organised , into its different sections.

The thing with Niki is she writes things on paper and keeps them we found stuff she wrote when she was going through diagnosis, that were slightly hard to see. Suicide notes.

Whether at the time it was how she felt or just her way of communicating that she was struggling and needed more support is hard to know.

I am glad my kids now speak openly about how they are feeling, and knowing it is ok to talk even about those very hard things they feel sometime.

We definatley spoke to cahms about this at the time and the schools.

It is very hard as a parent to here your kids say things like this and feel helpless in the situation, but I guess we must have do e alot right because we managed to get ourselves through the worse of times to get to where we are now..

Having both me and my husband home and our full attention is really making a big difference.

Jake is still a little depressed this week, but is still keeping up with school, homework and finding things to laugh at.

Food

We are seeing Niki making better chooses with her food at the moment, snacking less which means her dinner plates have been completely empty .

Niki’s eating is definatley ruled a lot by her anxiety, she is a lot more aware and is being more focused on this, she does need that extra pushing from us to keep it up.

Jake he is still a long way to go with his eating,there are 10 foods which he sticks to we can change the size and amount. First we continue to change he his favourite foods slightly which he is handling very well, changing the brand we give him sometimes gets results sometime times not.

That is how this weekend has been for us chilled relaxed but also extremely productive.

Unexpected late night visit.

Last night about 11pm we heard a quite knocking on the door, a young man can’t have been any older than 18-20 knocked on our door he was scared and said he was being chased by a group of men , apparently he was in the park with his friend and they got seperated, and cod he come In. And call a taxi, my husband asked him what happened but said we can’t let you in because we have kids here and we don’t know you.

But we asked him to stay where he was while we called him a cab, he was very reluctant when. We asked if we should call the police for him, he did not want us to, but said he just wanted to get home safe, while my hubby called a cab he asked if I would not shut my door but watching him while he checked if they were still there . I the just ran off.

We ended up calling police because we were concerned for his safety and we would want someone to help our kids if they were ever In That situation. Although they wouldn’t be out at that time of night in a park.

It was a very hard decision not to let him come in because you go into protective mode, but Niki and Jake have autism and anxiety and we couldn’t take that chance with Thier safety.

They were fixated on it for hours, Niki being on high alert want me to check the back gate incase someone else was hiding there Jake kept watching put the window, and finally falling a sleep in my room about 2am.

My kids always have this what if way of thinking as far as safety goes, what if this happens, these times reassurance and hugs, plus telling them it ok and safe.

The police came out to check it out not to our home but to the park they were there very quickly, we don’t know what happened to the lad but really hope he made it safely home and that he makes the choise not to put himself in danger again.

The kids were still talking about it this morning as I dropped them off for school so still on their minds.

This time last year if this happens Jake would have refused to go to school or not want to leave me.

But they did go and no phone calls either so that’s a very positive achievement.

This is life, and that’s ok

All my love to you all

Faye XX

Where is home ? Is the answer in the story.

It was a dark and gloomy night, the rain was hitting the window, she was home alone, it was past midnight snuggled under the blanket on the reclining chair .

She was watching a horror movie, yes I know why would she do that alone, it was always something she did when her husband worked the night shift he always came home between 3 and 4 in the morning.

She became transfixed to the screen her eyes wide sitting on the edge of the seat when that music played, you know the kind of music she is talking about when something bad In the movie is about to happen, her hands clasped together her palms were wet, she let go of her own hand and grabbed the blanket to pull over her head to avoid seeing what was about to happen. To late she thought as it popped up quickly on the screen she jumped so high In the seat, her legs hitting the foot rest hard nearly knocking her off the chair, the credits roll leaving the movie on a cliff hanger, guess she will have to wait for the sequal to come on to find what happens.

Out of the courier of her eye she saw the flash of lighting flicker through her window, but that wasn’t all the light highlighted a shadowy figure.

She was momentarily paralysed with fear, her senses went into to over drive her body started to shake, her heart beating faster and stronger it felt like it was forcing it’s way out.

She switched the lamp beside her off plundging the room In to darkness, she was used to this growing up money was tight energy was conserved. The thing about watching a movie alone at night is when it ends and you switch off your hearing is so intuned with every tiny little noise. Just then a crack of thunder directly above sounded not a distant rumble but a loud pounding sound that vibrated the whole house, she jumps out of her skin, flash the lighting lights the sky again she looks up and sees the shadowy shape move towards the door the hair on the back of her neck prickels her skin covered In Goose bumps.

She runs quickly towards her front door and turns her key untill it won’t turn any more, she takes the chain as quietly as she can and pulls it into place, she moves which through the dark house towards the kitchen did she lock the back door, she can’t remember but something tells her to get there quickly.

She slowly reaches out and touches the handle it doesn’t budge. Thank goodness for that she thinks to herself , the neighbours over grown tree is moving and bending with the the strong wind making its long branches scrap against the window oh how that sound is really creepy in that moment her mind wanders back the the shadowy figure she saw. She tells herself her mind is playing tricks.

She gives herself a shake and heads over to put the kettle on, she picks it up In Her hand turns to fill it with water, places it back on the stand. She opens the draw to grab a spoon as she turns she look up at the window above the sink and there was no denying it 2 eyes were peering back at her, with one hand going great to her mouth to hold in a scream and her other hand fumbling in the draw for anything she can grab to protect herself with, this she says as her hand wraps around a rolling pin she isn’t going to stay here and find out if those eye and shadowy figure are going to get through the door she quickly runs up stairs to her room and hides under the covers on her bed rolling pin In Hand, not moving accept for her chest moving rapidly up and down with her breathing.

She is quite fear gripping her then she here’s it a booming voice calling through the letter box let me in my key won’t work , it was her husband he was home, she jumps out of bed runs downstairs takes the chain off the door and quickly turns the key she jumps into his arms hiding him tight she tells him about the eyes she saw in the back yard. He enters the house closes the door and puts his finger to his mouth motioning for her to be quite and stay where she was, he moves side way quickly and fast towards the back door picking a torch up on the way unlocks the door. Pushes quickly wide with his torch on he scans the the garden to make sure it’s clear, there is no one in sight.

He shits and locks the door telling her there was noone there.

He is tired it was busy at the club tonight he already worked the whole day at his other job.she pours him a drink, he is already in the front room by the time she carries the drink into the front room he is already asleep, curled up on the sofa to tired to walk up the stairs to thier room, she looks at him and smiles there is a tiny gap between her husband and the back of the sofa she creeps in to the space. His arm wrapping round her hold her tight to him. She breathed a deep sigh of relief. Then she relaxes in that split second time stops still the shackle of life, worries and fear gone. She feels free weightless calm. What do you think this means , well she said this right here is love, this right here is Home this moment this place these arms her soul is quite she very quickly falls asleep.

Our mind dictates how we react what we think, feel, how we move the fear is Thier to protect us from harm to alert us to danger, it is also Thier to face challenge and over come. This is a sequal that will repeat every weekend like a routine it scary thrilling and ends I. The best possible way

Whether this story is fact or fiction is purely up to those who read my work,

What do you think ?

Leave a comment fact or fiction!!

Have a beautiful evening.

Love Faye xx