Hi all, here is my feed back from Heather her view of my book really matter because she is a relatively newly published author herself, and also a mother of a child who is autistic, our children. are maybe opposite ends of the spectrum but still we face many of the same issues in finding the right support and placements for our children, while also learning to adapt to our children’s needs. Both journeys as new author’s,mother’s and wife’s.

Are sometimes hard and easy at the same time, our books aimed at different audiences and very different ways of writing styles.

So here is Heather’s review of Emo the Emotional Elf.

Heather Golding -Author

It’s not often I manage to read a book in 1 day, but having received, in the Mail, only yesterday, the delightful book: “EMO The Emotional Elf” by new author Faye Kerry Farmer, about her children’s diagnosis of autism, anxiety and other issues, which is aimed for children to read and was written by a parent, I was intrigued by the similarities of our lives, even though our stories are very different.
On reading the introductory pages of how and why Faye wrote her book, I was immediately drawn to similar words that I’d also written in my book about autism. Such as Faye’s emotional grief about her fears of failing as a mum. Her concerns about her children’s diagnosis, merely being dismissed – and of course her description of the ‘hidden disabilities’ – one of my chapter titles!
So, while Faye has written about similar things, but from her own perspective, about the struggles she has faced with her children with autism, anxiety and other issues, her book is also filled with delightful pictures of her family enjoying a Christmas time together.
And because this book is primarily aimed for children to read, the story moves along at a happy and fun pace, which not only allows the child to read and enjoy the story, it also helps them to understand the many subtle reminders about awareness, as well as certain coping mechanisms that are associated with autism, anxiety and other issues. Adults will also enjoy reading this book, not just for the subtle reminders, but for the moral behind the stories.
So, for parents with young children, who have been diagnosed, or maybe they might just like to read the story, so that they and their children will learn and understand about others who are different to them – then this is the book to read.
Well, done Faye for having the courage and fortitude to write your family story – in an engaging and fun way that also includes children – who are the main focus in your book – as your readers.

All my love and best wishes to you and your family

Hope’s

As soon as my book is available again I truly hope other’s will give it a chance even if they would not normally read that unique bespoke type of book.

I think there are many books that sit on shelves because we rule the out before even trying, I myself as an avid reader have tried and enjoyed extending my book collection and am willing to give something different and new a try. Funny thing is my previewed opinion has changed o. Some books I have read and some how I connect and enjoy many different types now.

Many thanks Faye

2018 saw our best year I a while we still face many challenges on a daily bases which comes with being autistic and having anxiety, depression tourettes but our family face them together every day.

We have had Graduations, exam passes, moving home, blood tests dentists, building relationships,

Hospitals we have raised money for the book and charity, we faced this year with some fears but faced them head on, we worked as a team and as indeviduals, we have cried laughed fallen and got back up.

Nothing will stop our family

We are one of a kind.

We create our own sunshine, even on the hardest of days, we fall out and make up, we build friendships,

We share to help, not hinder we strive to do better each time, we never not try, sometimes we succed and sometimes we don’t.

We talk more now than ever before.

We won’t limit ourselves or other, we guide and lift others along our way.

We are free to do this because we have the right support, sometimes the support fails but we always give it another chance.

Hope you enjoy our best bits of 2018

We wish for all to have the the acceptance we now feel.

Have a beautiful evening

Love Faye XX 💗

So having completely emersed myself In Heather Golding – Author book

Autism On The Frontline

Through a Mother’s Eyes

-The Early years-

Her families story which I must say is heart wrenching, honest and true of Heather’s the children ‘s and her husband Hank journey and all they have had to endure, In thier lifetime. I see many similarities between thier families journey and ours.
I see and feel and understand it , 💯 .
Everything she thinks and feels many families with children who are autistic, whether diagnosed very early or had to wait slightly longer for diagnosis, and in our case when my kids were in double digits and entering pre teen and teenage years. There is one thing that stands out the most across the world that happens thier as well as over this side of the pond. Still huge lack of understanding from an education., Health care, system but also the much needed financial support families rely on,and have to prove they are not scamming to receive.
It is shocking the paper work the moving form school to school, and from one specialist to another. This is loud and clear In Heather’s well written and articulate book.
All the Emotions she felt is the same as adults and children, Who are autistic and thier families.
My children are verbal and have learnt to talk about Thier own feelings and I hope that one day Mathew finds his voice in whatever form of communication he is able to achieve.
I would highly recommend Heather’s book because hearing voices, of parents that speak up for Thier non verbal kids, as well as hearing the voice of those who are verbal an important part of understanding the needs so they can be better met for the children as early as possible. A mother’s instinic about Thier children, is important. The fact they got to where they are at the end of the book. Speaks volumes about that.

Don’t take my word for it take a chance get the book for yourself and just read it is that simple. Many people judge, stare, comment and make assumptions about autistic indeviduals and thier families without being prepared to put themselves in there shoes.

Heather I really respect you for feeling what you feel, honestly writing it and sharing it, and getting up each and every day for the sake of you and your family.

All my love and best wishes

Look forward to read the next stage in your journey 💗💗 and how Mathew is seeing the world xx

Emo the Emotional Elf, Book children’s

Self help

This week is waiting to receive, the digital version so not much to update on the book front yet.

But now this is why I wrote the book on emotions and raise awareness for the things we do, our way of processing the things we go through and bringing stability and and safety to our children’s life for themselves and to help them live a forfilled and rewarding life regardless of the challenges they face.

Weekend relaxing

The weekends here are pretty laid back, catching up on things you don’t get time for in the week. I was suppose to be working Friday but my days for changed at really short notice, so instead was relaxing with my Family I still had Hayley Friday night as is usual just not the other children. But that’s changed to next Friday instead now.

Saturday saw us sitting in the front room watching Harry potter movies,

Changing Niki’s hair to black a d redoing her side shaves. End result looked great she is happy with it.

My husband was in charge of the cooking this weekend😀

Sunday Declutter

Sunday saw Niki and me carry on with decluttering her room we made so much progress on this, Niki is a bit of a collector and tends not to want to get rid of things, but her new positive attitude is continuing. 12 black sacks of things now sorted into three organise piles.

Rubbish, collecting but keeping, and charity shops. The room is more organised and easier for her to manage again.

Her wardrobe organised , into its different sections.

The thing with Niki is she writes things on paper and keeps them we found stuff she wrote when she was going through diagnosis, that were slightly hard to see. Suicide notes.

Whether at the time it was how she felt or just her way of communicating that she was struggling and needed more support is hard to know.

I am glad my kids now speak openly about how they are feeling, and knowing it is ok to talk even about those very hard things they feel sometime.

We definatley spoke to cahms about this at the time and the schools.

It is very hard as a parent to here your kids say things like this and feel helpless in the situation, but I guess we must have do e alot right because we managed to get ourselves through the worse of times to get to where we are now..

Having both me and my husband home and our full attention is really making a big difference.

Jake is still a little depressed this week, but is still keeping up with school, homework and finding things to laugh at.

Food

We are seeing Niki making better chooses with her food at the moment, snacking less which means her dinner plates have been completely empty .

Niki’s eating is definatley ruled a lot by her anxiety, she is a lot more aware and is being more focused on this, she does need that extra pushing from us to keep it up.

Jake he is still a long way to go with his eating,there are 10 foods which he sticks to we can change the size and amount. First we continue to change he his favourite foods slightly which he is handling very well, changing the brand we give him sometimes gets results sometime times not.

That is how this weekend has been for us chilled relaxed but also extremely productive.

Unexpected late night visit.

Last night about 11pm we heard a quite knocking on the door, a young man can’t have been any older than 18-20 knocked on our door he was scared and said he was being chased by a group of men , apparently he was in the park with his friend and they got seperated, and cod he come In. And call a taxi, my husband asked him what happened but said we can’t let you in because we have kids here and we don’t know you.

But we asked him to stay where he was while we called him a cab, he was very reluctant when. We asked if we should call the police for him, he did not want us to, but said he just wanted to get home safe, while my hubby called a cab he asked if I would not shut my door but watching him while he checked if they were still there . I the just ran off.

We ended up calling police because we were concerned for his safety and we would want someone to help our kids if they were ever In That situation. Although they wouldn’t be out at that time of night in a park.

It was a very hard decision not to let him come in because you go into protective mode, but Niki and Jake have autism and anxiety and we couldn’t take that chance with Thier safety.

They were fixated on it for hours, Niki being on high alert want me to check the back gate incase someone else was hiding there Jake kept watching put the window, and finally falling a sleep in my room about 2am.

My kids always have this what if way of thinking as far as safety goes, what if this happens, these times reassurance and hugs, plus telling them it ok and safe.

The police came out to check it out not to our home but to the park they were there very quickly, we don’t know what happened to the lad but really hope he made it safely home and that he makes the choise not to put himself in danger again.

The kids were still talking about it this morning as I dropped them off for school so still on their minds.

This time last year if this happens Jake would have refused to go to school or not want to leave me.

But they did go and no phone calls either so that’s a very positive achievement.

This is life, and that’s ok

All my love to you all

Faye XX

Where is home ? Is the answer in the story.

It was a dark and gloomy night, the rain was hitting the window, she was home alone, it was past midnight snuggled under the blanket on the reclining chair .

She was watching a horror movie, yes I know why would she do that alone, it was always something she did when her husband worked the night shift he always came home between 3 and 4 in the morning.

She became transfixed to the screen her eyes wide sitting on the edge of the seat when that music played, you know the kind of music she is talking about when something bad In the movie is about to happen, her hands clasped together her palms were wet, she let go of her own hand and grabbed the blanket to pull over her head to avoid seeing what was about to happen. To late she thought as it popped up quickly on the screen she jumped so high In the seat, her legs hitting the foot rest hard nearly knocking her off the chair, the credits roll leaving the movie on a cliff hanger, guess she will have to wait for the sequal to come on to find what happens.

Out of the courier of her eye she saw the flash of lighting flicker through her window, but that wasn’t all the light highlighted a shadowy figure.

She was momentarily paralysed with fear, her senses went into to over drive her body started to shake, her heart beating faster and stronger it felt like it was forcing it’s way out.

She switched the lamp beside her off plundging the room In to darkness, she was used to this growing up money was tight energy was conserved. The thing about watching a movie alone at night is when it ends and you switch off your hearing is so intuned with every tiny little noise. Just then a crack of thunder directly above sounded not a distant rumble but a loud pounding sound that vibrated the whole house, she jumps out of her skin, flash the lighting lights the sky again she looks up and sees the shadowy shape move towards the door the hair on the back of her neck prickels her skin covered In Goose bumps.

She runs quickly towards her front door and turns her key untill it won’t turn any more, she takes the chain as quietly as she can and pulls it into place, she moves which through the dark house towards the kitchen did she lock the back door, she can’t remember but something tells her to get there quickly.

She slowly reaches out and touches the handle it doesn’t budge. Thank goodness for that she thinks to herself , the neighbours over grown tree is moving and bending with the the strong wind making its long branches scrap against the window oh how that sound is really creepy in that moment her mind wanders back the the shadowy figure she saw. She tells herself her mind is playing tricks.

She gives herself a shake and heads over to put the kettle on, she picks it up In Her hand turns to fill it with water, places it back on the stand. She opens the draw to grab a spoon as she turns she look up at the window above the sink and there was no denying it 2 eyes were peering back at her, with one hand going great to her mouth to hold in a scream and her other hand fumbling in the draw for anything she can grab to protect herself with, this she says as her hand wraps around a rolling pin she isn’t going to stay here and find out if those eye and shadowy figure are going to get through the door she quickly runs up stairs to her room and hides under the covers on her bed rolling pin In Hand, not moving accept for her chest moving rapidly up and down with her breathing.

She is quite fear gripping her then she here’s it a booming voice calling through the letter box let me in my key won’t work , it was her husband he was home, she jumps out of bed runs downstairs takes the chain off the door and quickly turns the key she jumps into his arms hiding him tight she tells him about the eyes she saw in the back yard. He enters the house closes the door and puts his finger to his mouth motioning for her to be quite and stay where she was, he moves side way quickly and fast towards the back door picking a torch up on the way unlocks the door. Pushes quickly wide with his torch on he scans the the garden to make sure it’s clear, there is no one in sight.

He shits and locks the door telling her there was noone there.

He is tired it was busy at the club tonight he already worked the whole day at his other job.she pours him a drink, he is already in the front room by the time she carries the drink into the front room he is already asleep, curled up on the sofa to tired to walk up the stairs to thier room, she looks at him and smiles there is a tiny gap between her husband and the back of the sofa she creeps in to the space. His arm wrapping round her hold her tight to him. She breathed a deep sigh of relief. Then she relaxes in that split second time stops still the shackle of life, worries and fear gone. She feels free weightless calm. What do you think this means , well she said this right here is love, this right here is Home this moment this place these arms her soul is quite she very quickly falls asleep.

Our mind dictates how we react what we think, feel, how we move the fear is Thier to protect us from harm to alert us to danger, it is also Thier to face challenge and over come. This is a sequal that will repeat every weekend like a routine it scary thrilling and ends I. The best possible way

Whether this story is fact or fiction is purely up to those who read my work,

What do you think ?

Leave a comment fact or fiction!!

Have a beautiful evening.

Love Faye xx

Hi all, first I hope you have had a wonderful week,

#EmotheEmotionalElf

Nik spoke to the liquidators yesterday reminding them they were suppose to get back to us Monday or Tuesday we were awaiting news.

We should receive the digital copy very soon and the Idesign copy a couple of weeks later so that is huge progress to being able to get this book back out there again.

I won’t celebrate or get to far ahead of myself till they are in my hands,

In the mean time I am researching all my options for the sale of it again luckily it is still being shown online.

There will be a ISBN change because obviously the one it has now is the registered to the publishers and not the book and as they are no longer trading this has too change.

Also I will be checking soon if the copy right has been added on the system yet. And will have to register any changes once they are done.

I am being open with this because it may help other new authors or people who want to be authors to know the realities that can happen and have back ups in place. (GET A LAWYER )

Before signing to about what would happen in event of company sieze trading, or going into liquidation.

When I was checking the book out online I noticed there was a UK version and an US version which was new hadn’t seen a US version before.

So was sure what the difference is till I looked it up. I am glad I am getting to have this new knowledge of all thing book related and marketing.

The next book should be a lot easier, and hopefully without the NEWBIE mistakes.

While I am waiting I have also been speaking to another author Heather Golding- Author she also write her’s and her families story Autism on the front line.

We are have sent each other our books to read and give each other feed back on.

So a sign copy with a special message is now making its way to Heather all the way down under to Australia.

My book will be judged purely on the book and not me as a person. It is very important to me to get feed back good or bad.

I wanted an opinion of another author on my book, I am really looking forward to reading hers and will gladly give her an honest review.

But also I would love actually autistic people to get a chance to read it and give there opinion aswell, it is just our families journey and in no way talks for any other autistic person I like them to talk about Thier journey and needs themselves . Each person is different and sees and feels things differently.

Books on my list to read

I am also going to get a copy of Spectrum Women actually autistic women’s voices. Thier perspective is an important thing so women and girls get Thier diagnosis too and because the diagnosis is still very much aimed at how boys display . As a mother with a daughter as well as son who are autistic, I think I can learn alot from this book, plus it has fantastic reviews.

The publisher Jessica Kingsley publishing I have spoken to Jessica via message a couple of times about my book she very kindly reply as to some questions I asked and it was fantastic advise. I am asking part of her face book plan publish promote group , she whips people into shape her videos are great to watch she is very smart and funny, oh and she loves biscuits.

If you get a chance check out spectrum women

Niki and Jake

we have completed our first full week back to school with no issues arising the transition is getting easy for the Niki and Jake.

That is because they are used to set routine, we had a couple of days where we woke up late but they were very quick at making up time.

Niki was late to school once because of traffic and getting between Jake’s and her school leaves not much allowance for road works. Jake has to be there for 8.30 and Niki 9am the drive takes 30 minutes.

Niki was a little worried about getting late to school but this time she made a phone call to them to tell them princely when she would arrive.

She made me laugh just a little because they asked if she was on the bus she said “I’m in my mums car broom broom”😂

Jake has still had his empty sad feeling not sure if it is his depression or because he has had a migraine for three days and it’s his way of explaining it. He tends to get eye issues and auditory sensations with them he has a slight tunnel vision for a while. We are waiting for his eye health check as when he got his new glasses they couldn’t do it as Thier machine wasn’t working that was in December it has gone of to the repairs place so hopefully it will get back soon so we can check.

Niki got her student Union excecutive jumper look very good black with pink writing.

She is enjoying her course still, and the maths lesson seem to be going ok. She does find the maths class a little hard because of the amount of people it sometimes it affects her if there are to many people and too much noise.

Her room is still in the process of being decluttered which of course can be a bit difficult for her and a little overwhelming , she is good at directing me to the way she wants things.

Jake’s DLA award has just been renewed so that is a big help. Towards meeting his needs. And one less thing to have to think about for another couple of years unless there is any changes to his needs of course .

Very important things to stay on top of, other wise you are left with too many things to worry and deal with.

Work with Hayley this week.

I am so proud of Hayley she has learnt to use the washing machine, she asked for a hoover for Christmas and likes to hoover her room, there is someone watching over her while she does it but it is an awesome new skill for her.

We also were doing some maths, and she can confidently count up to ten easily now. She even loved doing the number jigsaw puzzle she loves puzzles.

Practising hand writing is another thing we are working on as well as learning letters and what things begin with, she said to Niki I eat 2 new foods that begins with a B Brussels and Banana.

We had lunch out together on Wednesday that’s the day I work the whole day with her.

Then we spent the afternoon choosing her very favorite Emo pictures so we could do a memory frame, and also started a memory book of new challenges with photo’s this will be great for when we have her review at the day services so they can see some of the work I do with her.

Many thanks

Much love

Faye xx

Hi all, how’s has your day been,first week back at college for Niki, she is really enjoying her courses, and has plans to carry on studying child care up too level four then go back and do level 2,3,4 in health and social care.

She is surprising me on how she is really taking a grown up veiw of things, and handling the emotional aspect of the course, she spoke about the tough bit she is learning now which is about child abuse .

Niki is very empathic and compassionate person, so I hope this bit is not to hard for her emotionally.

She invited me to meet her for lunch today which was very sweet, we talk very openly about many different subjects because it is so important that she feels she can come to me if she has a problem.

Before she would hold it all inside, and shut down this was just a part of the issues communicating when her anxiety and depression were bad .

She has been a little sick tonight , then she said made a bad choose she drank to much chocolate milk, I don’t think she will do that again.

Jake had a good day at school he came to me this evening and said he was feeling incredible sad for no reason and had an empty feeling and didn’t know why.

This again is excellent he was able to tell that he was feeling this way.

My kids being able to just say how they are feeling out loud is just so good.

It has taken time to get to this stage, and they have had many happy moments over the last few years but these feelings always seem to return at random times there is not always a reason or an issue, they are just there.

Giving both the kids a little bit of extra attention and being on alert for any underlining issues that may come out, this way we can also let the school no that he may be needing a bit of extra support, or someone to just keep a close watch while he has these feelings.

It might just be that his brother has gone home and he is adjusting to being back at school and he is feeling the change from all the time we spent close together over the holidays.

My husband was so sweet when Niki was sick tonight he cut an orange into a bear which looked so cute she couldn’t eat it but really appreciated the sweet gesture .

My brother in-law has sent me a clue of funny posts that have made me laugh alot.

And I spoke to our Josh on the phone tonight he always phones al.ost every day when he is not here.

Work with Hayley tonight we now have her annual review book with the day services she goes to, and her medical, and medicine review was done over the phone the other day.

Just has to have her yearly bloods done when I am with her on Wednesday. The end of the week I get to work with the kids again. I. Determined one day to get To to say my name , he is a little monkey and always laughs when I try to get him to say it his humorous is lovely to see.

That’s how are days go for us sometimes relaxing still .

There is now a new head teacher at Jake’s school , and the head of the base in which supports Jake is leaving hopefully the impact of this loss won’t affect our kids with are autistic.

A picture of me and my little brother , I think I was 8 and he was 6 when it was taken

Al my best love Faye XX