#Emotions #birthdaysinlockdown #alittlebitofcare #memorymaking #family

Birthday’s their have been a few since Locked down began, But some how they worked out with a little bit of magic and improvisation.

I shared our Niki’s right at the Beginning so will kind of share them in the order they happened.

First their was Chris’s the big 47 my big Brother and little Tom’s Dad

What can I say Chris is My big Brother but I am the little sister that always looks out for him, always there to support and help where I can. When we were little we would fight like Brothers and sisters did he would pull the heads off my dolls , i would sneak into his room and get him back before quietly running back into my room and shouting “dad he is getting me” the annoying little sister always getting him in trouble. we got a lot closer over the years and have a bigger understanding of each other. Like I always am his back up and stand by him i know he will be the first to do the same for me, if i needed help infact. A few years ago when I really needed some help he was their without hesitation no let me think about it first no questions just there. I know I thanked him many times but I don’t think he realizes just how much it meant. I wanted to do something special for his birthday show him how much I care and love him. He and his family have been through so much, but they are such an amazing little family.

When I got there thankfully my brother had popped to the shops, and I enlisted the older kids help in setting up the surprise for their dad, we were in the lockdown at the time slightly different for me at the time as I was working in their house through covid with little Tom. Loved seeing the look of surprise on his face. I am afraid didn’t manage to capture a picture of that moment. But it was awesome to see. The kids were happy too when I turned up with cake.

Next Our princess Ellie The big 13 , wow Time really fly’s by so Quick she Beautiful super Sassy , incredibly sweet, but you can tell the teenage years have begun, I wish them the best of luck with that Having brought a girl through the teenage years i know what it takes patience, boundaries, and a whole heap of love It also doesn’t hurt to have movies chocolate and heaps of tissues and ice cream and a discount card for the makeup shop . I have always got her back the crazy aunt that makes her earn Internet access, the aunt that talks to her about everything. Makes amazing memories with her.

Nan and Grandad and all her family and friends couldn’t actually be there to celebrate but the occasion couldn’t;t be marked without it being super special. we all put our money together and with the help of Hayley and my Niki and Jake we pulled off a bit of magic fit for a teenage princess.

Even Emo gave a little help , but the thing that took the most time was making her memory book that I really loved doing putting some beautiful photos with her own little family first in the book , followed by all our special memories we have made over the years together. Thankfully the shops had began to open and the queues were low and empty. yes this crazy aunt all masked up hand Sanitizer at the ready hunted down everything to make this surprise birthday treat really come together.

Here she is My princess

Tom And Holly were Glad that Emo came too.

Dylan helped me set it all up, Niki and Hayley came but wore their masked and stayed in garden socially distancing.

Even the Dog wanted to be involved , either that or she just wanted some cake this dog eats everything.

I think Ellie was surprised loved seeing her face when she got her memory book, there is plenty of space to add her own favorite memories with her friends and family that she may have taken herself, also plenty of space she can make new memories to capture.

Changing colour completely now, My happy colour. That’s because the next birthday I am going to talk about and share is my biggest son Josh and when I say big he has grown so tall. Wow I have a son of 26. My boy all grown up and independent.

This year was so difficult covid stopped me waking up in the same house on his birthday with him, It made my heart so sad and i know he is all grown up works and can buy himself anything he wants it doesn’t stop me from wanting to make his birthday special or do the over the top mummy things I always want to do that for my kids , but it;s more than that its that special time you share once a year that celebrates their life and what they mean to you, yes you can do that any time but when you give birth to that child that instantaneous bond that memory of that is what you feel. when you look at them that first time and you know your heart is lost forever. you no your life has new meaning, you have a purpose to nurture, love and celebrate this tiny human and watch as they grow and grow and in Josh’s case don;t stop growing.

We tried to make it the best we could on his actual birthday, he was working in the day time but we got him a cake and faced timed him, we pulled out a surprise a cake and instead of singing happy birthday we all song Rick astley’s Never gonna Give you up , Rick rolled by your family gosh that was a funny moment.

My son is not a biog sharer of his life I think this was only the second time we saw his face since his last visit at Christmas , talking on the phone everyday is not the same as talking and seeing that person, a mum always wants to see her kids faxes no matter how old they are.

Things were not completely a disaster josh was able to visit the weekend after he has been working for home an self isolated at that time and I drove to pick him up. I first drove to visit my mum in hospital before going on to pick him up.and bring him HOME yes he has his own place now but there is no place like your family home.

I woke up early the next day and prepared the food Grandad and Hayley came to dinner with us, it was such a lovely celebration normally we have all the family over my side and the Greek side but it was impossible to do that. so we split it over 2 days we went to his Greek grand parents so they could see him too the next day. Very few people who have all been self isolating so no one had the risk of catching covid.

Never to old for super Hero’s a favorite of our whole family

After dinner present opening began followed by cake, adding a little humor i got him the dog he always wanted when he was growing up only it was a cake shaped like a Pug.

It was a beautiful day filled with amazing memories and quality time with my kids .

Day 2 of birthday Celebrations With The Greek Grandparents

Equally a beautiful day, Jake and Josh and me went, Niki stayed at home with her dad. what can I say Yia Yai and Papou were surprised how big the boys were.

So cute seeing them with their grandparents they both look Greek. They love this Home the fire place holds many happy memories and they love exploring the gardens and house so many beautiful things to see.

All the kids love exploring here, and Yai Yai’s fire place, all the Pillows Yes Greeks go big on everything in a Greek house is meant to be that way so you never leave.

But its also the culture the music the kids all have the most amazing memories of all sitting sining along to Greek songs while Papou plays Bouzouki. Josh had a go on Papou’s Bouzouki and Jake picked up the Guitar.

Look at them, this is what life is all about , I love my life and family so much..

So now I have caught up on the birthday blogs three in one just for getting my self back into blogging more regularly then i don’t think i will get such a block when i sit down to write.

Wishing you a beautiful Night sleep well Stay safe.

Much love Faye xxx

#emotions #caring #lockdown #family #love #care #selfhelp #confidence #bookmarketing #Elves #autism #specialneeds #anxiety #mentalhealth

Hi Everyone , How are you ? been a little bit behind in writing my Word Press lately since lock down, but then have been working real hard in my main job as a carer, and also just being mum too. long hours little sleep is not so good for my writing hoping to really start to focus more very soon.

The picture above is one of my all time favorites of me and Hayley during this new time you can probably see its the happiest and most natural one , we seem ro be bring the best out in each other lately. We are quite the mischievous duo. we added video making into our daily routine when she is staying with us, but also we just cant resist doing them when I go to hers to do her zoom meetings.

My stutter seems to be disappearing more each day and I am beginning to feel at ease on screen now Hayley likes to be on screen anyway, there is one thing though there is no rehearsals we post exactly how they happen and never edit, its led to some interesting things coming out of Hayley mouth,

I really would never want to edit or have Hayley any other way . I cant stop watching the videos its like watching someone else. Think sometimes i life you believe yourself certain way, to what others see you as you sometimes convince yourself yo cant do something when really the ability was their all along you were just hiding from it. I watch the videos now and think girl you cheated yourself of some amazing experiences because you told yourself you couldn’t do that. I think now I am just beginning to show myself just what i am capable of achieving. I became an author, I have talked more in the last few years to people then I probably have my whole life. what can I say I cant be an author writing about self help and self confidence if I don’t have it myself. so really that is the most important gift I can give myself. My attitude lately is don’t give yourself the chance to talk yourself out of something, record and post before the anxiety has a chance to kick in and make you second guess weather your doing the right thing.

Some of the best work comes from spontaneous thoughts, from freedom of expression, from the heart with love and passion. with the innocence of seeing through a Childs eyes the world as it is.

The world that it should be, not filled with hate or war, or fragmented, but through laughter, music and love and care creativity and imagination…………

I hold out my hand , to show love and care it’s just unconditional and has always been their.

The way the childrens and Hayley’s eyes light up a room it just chases away that feeling of gloom. It starts as a smile that begins to spread.

The anxiety leaves their is no longer Dread , just a happiness bubbling inside again. but its not trapped inside, it’s out in the open again.

a miracle is happening just wait and see , these introverted people are being set free. A voice that was once trapped is begining to talk, one step at a time it doesn’t matter if you run or you walk.

It started first with writing in hand and then with a voice that came out of her mouth, that one Christmas time Emo Elf arrived at our house.

Our Emo he changed so much in our world, watch out he wants to share his love and message with the world.

Author Faye Farmer

Here are some links to book

Digital download

https://www.kobo.com/au/en/ebook/emo-the-emotional-elf

Paperback

lets talk about my work as a carer and how much it has changed since lock down, but the care and love remain the same. Just the dynamics and time scale that has changed.

I am super involved in all aspects of care so maybe if I bullet point and list them others will see just how much work is involved in the care industry.

Health and fitness

Caring

:Health and fitness. this could be anything from diet and healthy eating choices or managing complicated dietary needs.

: Exercise and weight management finding the correct safe way to achieve this while working with someones disability and limitations. Motivation is another thing.

: Medicine ordering administering and managing any side affects, this has changed a lot over the covid period , actually this has changed a lot here over the last few years changes to medicine too generic forms can bring on some nasty side affects, this i can say from our own families experience so not sure if others have had the same thing but certainly with some medicines for epilepsy and diabetes this has been the case for us. you have to know when to challenge this especially if you work closely and notice a negative impact to someones health.

: I Will give an example Carbomazipan or Tegratol supposedly the same meds how ever the seizures are less and manageable with the Tegratol but the Carbomazipan increased the fits a lot. Now this might not be the same for others but has defiantly been an issue that I brought up with doctors, the other meds it doesn’t happen with only these particular ones. Some of the diabetes ones have caused some major issues when switching the side affects really scary .

The longer your around someone the more you get to know what works and what doesn’t with that person. You really don’t need a medical or pharmaceutical degree to see the impact. It is weather you have the calm communication skills to stand your ground on these important life changing things.

: Peg feeding, aids, hoists, equipment, First aid and health and safety, correct handling of people , managing challenging behavior, sleep issues. all regularly need re training.

: Diaries their are loads of different ones , ones for sleep ones for poop yep I said it their is even a scale of whats normal or not, the well being checks, eyes, ears , blood tests female and male cancer checks . dentists , nails, feet. ECG

: Money management and benefit forms , It is such apian to negotiate the benefit system that is not set out to fully understand the complexity of individual needs, that is something no computer can do not everyone ticks boxes EHCP,

Appeals multiples. Hospital and doctors appointments , discussions on end of life, dealing with family members.

Sometimes death and funerals, RED TAPE and lack of funds reduced support services , LOCKDOWN.

: Carers in care homes., Private carers,Parent and Grandparent Carers not to mention the amazing child carers who should be just kids, but sometimes the family is made to feel they cant ask for help.

: Social services, Police , Internet Safety this is a big one and they really don’t handle or take responsibility of issues. with direct messages. a big lack of mental health services long waiting lists.

; Refusal to assess, due to lack of understanding or funding

This is just part of what it takes to be a care , all this has to be done at the same time as meeting a persons needs sometimes multiple peoples needs. As well as phone calls shopping teaching money skills, and catering to the all important independent living skills, even if in your heart you know they will never be truly independent. You have to make them feel as independent as possible that is where choice comes in their choice and wants need to be met as well as their needs some times they can conflict.

Mental and Emotional health can also have a huge impact on physical health, not just for those that are cared for but the carers to very long hours sometimes, their are quite a few of us parent carers that also work in the care industry maybe we don’t all have the degrees in care but we make awesome care givers for this ever changing sector. We can probably teach others a thing or to you can’t beat hands on experience.

Lets talk about the teaching side social skills , learning technology, building confidence and self esteem.

Changing techniques all the time while still keeping rigid routines now that a tough one sometimes but defiantly achievable if you think outside the box.

I am going to break this up with some photos of some of the methods. I personally use writing for me has had a huge impact on how I work publishing a book has opened my eyes to a new way of working.

Being a mother of autistic children who also have, anxiety disorders, Touretts and depression and sensory issues , eating issue and hypermobiliy difficulties. has broadened my skills vastly and makes me better at my job as a carer.

Arts and Crafts

Cooking

It is a great aid and is another therapeutic thing , a great time to talk about healthy choices experiment with new foods , but also the occasional treats are good too. I mean who doesn’t love to make cakes. But it is also about getting them involved in planting, watering and maintaining Vegetable patch and gardening it is great for you to spend time everyday in fresh air, we don’t always have sunny day’s this is England after all but that outside time is very important. Hayley Is beginning to widen her choice of foods. She is keen to eat things that has been home grown or fruits and veg.

Out and about.

Dressing up

Learning and Reading

This is just a tiny bit of what goes into to caring, and this is mostly with Hayley in these photos but as i catch you up on everything that has been going on here, you will get a bigger insite.

Much love Faye xxxx

#emotions #caring #study #sleep

Hi , everyone been a while since I last blogged. Many reasons work, family, study.

Thier is sometimes way too much in my head to even put words to a blog I have so much to blog about some amazing moments over the last few months. But trying to date order and get things in the right sequence when your a little out of writing practice is hard.

It’s not so much writes block but writer nerves. I get nervous and talk very quick, or write very quick before I lose that momentum, then I make silly mistakes with Gramma or punctuation , I definately struggle more with the basics of structure and forget spellings of simple words when I don’t write often enough.

Pictures help with that short term memory issues , they actually help a lot. It’s been few weeks of different emotions , complete an utter long days , maybe I get super over tired and don’t write because I know that’s when my writing issues show the most. Sometimes it’s just one word I don’t notice is written wrong not always in a blog could be in a message or answering a comment someone’s left. I find it frustrating, I do try to edit when I notice but to be honest it sometimes takes days, then you think will I draw attention to mistake if I go and change it.

It’s now 3.23 am here and I am sitting thinking about things , I tend to share more photos when I have lots on my mind it’s a way of experimenting creatively to try an order things in my mind. Plus I love sharing my work and family I am super proud of seeing progress being made know matter how tiny, or big.

I find it empowering to lift others up, even if one post makes someone smile just for a moment you never know if someone is having a day Thier struggling with.

Time management is hard too, because I can’t stop talking to people, I enjoy meeting and talking to people .

I had lots of fun at a online social media event last week , and yes to begin with I felt super nervous and awkward but hey it was the first one I attended everyone was super friendly and welcoming and when I got rid of the initial nerves of speaking in person I really enjoyed it.

I am doing videos with Hayley most every day when she is with me which has been fantastic for both of us.

The good thing about videos is they are pre-recorded you can choose to post or re-take or edit I choose to just post as they are no editing just fully ourselves. With face to face meetings your very contious of not saying the wrong thing, or blurting out anything embarresing. .

Why I do I use music in videos and dance first because it gives you a sense of freedom, and second it’s a great way to overcome nervousness,

It’s not really about the music although it’s fab and makes you feel Awsome it’s about seeing Hayley’s expression and her being introduced to new ways of learning and building her confidence , she is thriving through lockdown I haven’t ever seen her this way,

Any way it’s so late I have some of the stuff out of my head now maybe I can get back to sleep

Good night

Much love Faye 😁♥️

#homestudy #education #childpsychology #nevertooldtolearn

Today’s the first day, of learning child psychology for me.

Hi everyone how are you all, I am quite a spontanious kind of person jump in head first into everything I do. There is such a good reason for that though it doesn’t give me a chance to think about things so I don’t get to build up anxiety over learning knew things, but also because if I put my own money into something I am going to make sure every tiny amount was worth it,

There is really no better empowerment then self empowerment, I of course have a super supportive family and my kids always encourage me as much as I encourage them.

Now I do have issues in some aspect of learning it doesn’t always come so easy to return facts or get the words out as easy as you would think it is, I do have to read things through multiple times, I find it really helpful.

It’s like when you read a book, unread them three or four times because each time I read something the way my mind interpreters it is different every time. I like to memorise things and books, so each time I read them a little more stays in my mind, I can then say that this is the part that really stood out for me. Not sure if anyone else learns better this way but it is definatley a method that works for me, I am the same with programs and movies Thier is always that part in the movie that you can’t remember the first time you watch it but the second or third you can actually pinpoint the part of film you missed and say why you loved it.

Just this short blog today , I plan to read it multiple times tonight, my Jake wants to come sit with me for a while to. I may even let him read it to he has been talking and supporting his friends online through lock down. Even Niki could read through it might even help her when she starts her new course in September 😁💻 definatly printed of the work because the screens make my eyes tired sometime and reading in with out the light of the computer , or distractions from it pinging with messages, will stop me from just talking.

So I will say goodnight, sweet dreams and stay safe tonight or day which ever time zone your on .

Plus i got my kids and a big box of choc’s from my dad to keep me company while I study 😁 for picking his shopping up. I get them every week since lock down or cakes both are equally as good 😁♥️

I had zoom meetings with Hayley and her day center today keep fit, she did so well with it.

Have a peaceful night 😴

Much love Faye ❤️❣️❤️