#EmoTheEmotionalElf #Caring #Family #Dayoutatseaside #selfcare

Hi everyone how are you. We have had some beautiful sunny days here since last blog,

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Thursday we had the most beautiful day out at the beach, Me Hayley and Niki. Jake had a day out with NCS he learnt some great team building skills and joined in, with the rock climbing which he loved that was his favorite part, climbing has always been one of his things he literally climbed the walls when he was little.

Somethings will just always be, it was only in the beginning of lock down he climbed on the Bannister on stairs and it ripped out the wall. He joined in the water challenges despite not being able to swim the first thing he said was he nearly drowned, his head went under but he had a life jacket on. When the leader came out with him she was saying how proud they were of him.You know i remember the day he excitedly came home and told me about this course he had me sign him up that night the best choice he ever made. yes we have had a lot of anxiety in the build up but its a life experience he needed , We have to buy new shoes again though, he goes through shoes so quickly, I still have four brand new pairs he won’t wear because of his sensory issues with them. wish me luck we have to go hit the shoe shops again. He is working on the Charity part of the course next, he added someone that he knows in person to his discord this is big progress they have been working on the project together most of the day. While Jake was off doing that we hit the beach.

The drive to Shoreham was lovely Niki wasn’t keen on the tunnel she held her breath as we went through and the other part we didn’t like was going over a bridge that was very open high and went in a circle I must admit I am not keen on seeing whats below me that one minute drive I could of done without. but we made it there early to the place we dropped Jake off the sat nav wasn’t to bad and Google backed us up when it went wrong. I left Niki in charge of Google. Parking was free and we easily found a space close to the beach.

It was nice to see a big path for disabled accessibility although it didn’t go down to the beach and the beach was pebbles.the views were outstanding, the sun was out in full force at 9 am.

Niki always wears her sunflower lanyard , actually since we got that it has really been a good thing it’s a shame some people misuse it or have fake ones made I heard it on the news the other day because it really helps those with invisible disabilities access things without actually having to ask on days they find it difficult. I Guess they just don’t understand what damage they do by doing that. Lets hope one day they aren’t affected or a loved one of theirs I think people never see the ramifications of doing that on the people it really helps.

We got Niki a knee support as we would be doing some walking we took breaks when she needed, we are still waiting for that pain management appointment to come through and certainly that one day out was physically draining for her and left her in pain.she hasn’t moved much out of her room since, accept for food and drinks. Her hips and knees are hurting and her head.

The Knee support did help though it didn’t pop or give way as much as it usually dose. she even spray painted her walking stick to match her out fit. and there were benches we could all sit every so often so that really helped.

we did buy some flat shoes while we were out but she is pretty much like every woman with shoes they hurt but we wear them just because they look cool, I tend not to wear heels often now especially when walking I don’t want painfully feet.

There was beautiful rockeries you cant see it from the pictures but they looked like they were covered in splashes of silver glitter when the sun hit it it left this beautiful shimmer. we went on a rock and shell hunt before taking a walk across the bridge of the harbor to the little high street of shops.

Sorry for blurry photos sunscreen hands plus it was difficult to see the screen super bright outside.

The girls hit the shops and were a fan of the charity shops the most, their was some pretty unique shops lots of outside dining, pubs and this beautiful memorial and old church. Hayley got that new dress she wanted.

You know I love the different architecture in this town and the houses all something special and add value to this beautiful part of England first time I have been here and some where I would love to return for a visit. You can live in a country and never really see it in all its wonderful glory because you get fixated on traveling abroad , I definitely want to explore and visit England and Uk more see what i have been missing out on, I want to explore and share what I see what my kids see for the very first time in thier lives.

Of course Niki found the rainbow to stand next too, Hayley wanting to get into picture too went and stood next to her.

WE took the five minute walk back over the bridge this time the tide had come in and the shipwreck moored boats suddenly surrounded by water

What was on the other side of the bridge the ice cream shop,

Hayley choose strawberry and vanilla, Niki had Pastio, Ferraro Rosher, and salted caramel and I chose Raspberry, blackcurrant and bubble gum , wow super sweet, and quite a combination of flavors that melted in your mouth and tasted true to the flavoring, it was so hot almost melted before I could eat it. we stopped for about five minutes before going back to the beach for a picnic lunch.

and a well deserved break then getting our feet wet in the sea.

I loved that bit it was freezing and refreshing at the same time.

Niki First taking the first plunge not sure of the cold or stability of the ground but she gave it a try

Then me excuse the knicker reference , it was cold

We stay for a while then had to find a ladies room, before heading back to pick Jake up when we got to Jakes place we had about 45 minute wait all I had to do was keep them entertained till he finished, everyone was beginning to get tired out, we did carpark Karaoke it was spare of the moment thing i am going to share it excuse our singing and i don’t own the rights to song its purely the beauty of that moment in the car that i really want to share and not the song all though the song is one of our favorites and Hayley even remembered some of the words this time, see their happy faces, shame there weren’t any hair brushes would of had a comedy moment .

Musical shows are Hayley’s and Niki’s favorite ones. they give you a moment of unplanned joy of being in the moment. no inhibitions just total absorbed in the song.

We Dropped Hayley home picked up some food and for once we all just slept as soon as we got home.

Friday I had to get Hayley to different day centers she had one on the other side of town in the morning she played pool, and talked with her friends then lunch back at mine before she had to go to afternoon art class, she was with us for the whole night we played games and did our you tube, before messing about with filters, we only ever do it for fun, because they make you look silly. I don’t understand why people think they would like to use them so much, they change you completely, especially the bunny one made me look like a blow up doll. lol no give me my real face any day I love it how it is.

The 19th of July was also my oldest son Josh’s 27th birthday, he wasn’t able to be here for it so the day out took my mind off not having him here but we spoke on the day and we will be celebrating when he comes for his visit on the 20th, going to be nice for us all to have him home not seen him since his surprise visit any way that’s our blog for today.

Much love Faye xxx

#caring #family #anxiety #photography #music #food

Hi all How has your day gone?

Going to start this blog with music just listened to this beautiful song and its defiantly relatable sometimes you want to switch off all the bad things you hear and see and just sit in your own yard and appreciate the sanctuary of you own space just to catch your breath, Answer no calls, and just be.

Being a carer I value every moment of peace I can get from the big wide world. at other times I seek to see the beauty of our world and what it has to offer.I have spoken to people from many countries about many things good and bad, we all search for making things better.

Today has been quite busy for us here starting with negotiating my way round the now started road works to pick Hayley up and take her to day center in 2 days time the other way that doesn’t have road works will also begin major road works to with England going into level 0 this may have a major impact on travel time, and long queues. I might have to adapt my schedules. once Hayley was dropped off I had to go home pick Jake up to get him to Day 2 of Summer school, Today there was a little anxiety especially around group work he was messaging me, about being confused about things and that he didn’t feel the others were letting him talk, but i think it was a little more than that for Jake especially he thinks and works well alone . If a task is set he follows that task exactly how they tell him, for example: The task today was to talk about the town and what goes on, the group he was working with were talking about wide scale communism so he wasn’t getting why they changed from what they were set and then interpreted it that they weren’t listening to him when he was trying to help or give them input. this is sometimes the indicator to anxiety for Jake and where I come in and have a little chat to divert it from it becoming something that stops him carrying on or refusing to do any more work, we talked about him just speaking up for himself and saying he has some Ideas to add about the topic which was originally set and to speak to his team leader about it. Jake never likes to let people know he doesn’t understand something so doesn’t often let people know he struggles and hates drawing attention to that fact.He would rather sit and do nothing then ask for help. so I gentle reminded him these are knew people they haven’t got the chance to be able to read his body language, and needs without words like his school support does and maybe he could give them a chance, and if he wanted to write it like the task was set to ask for a piece of paper and write what he had to say, little things like that are simple to do and helps him feel able to carry on.

I think just that simple little chat helped because the text stopped, and when he came home he said the presentation went ok although boys vs girls he said the boys some went off and did other things and the presentation wasn’t as funny as the girls it was done. He also did basket ball a game of charades which he found very funny. and I had a chat with his team leader who gave positive feed back that he talked well with her was polite well mannered and gave his all to every task.

So while i share and talk about my kids perspective of things it is to show the little tell tale signs of what can start as a small issue if not dealt with quickly and in a calm reassuring way can be a thing that escalates quickly but me and my kids have this communication system going where they message me if they don’t think they can talk to others if they have issues and i can pretty much help them understand others perspectives too. this has taken years of practice.

I am extremely proud he stayed the whole day. then it was time to pick Hayley up my phone was pinging while. I was driving, it was in my bag I could here it, I am thinking its Jake again so when i got to Hayley’s places I had 10 minutes till she came out, it was Jake though it was about 20 thumbs up signs from Niki and the words Big toast. good job I was parked up because she face timed me too wanting me to get her toast. I told her she had to wait till I got back and I would make it. she could of asked her dad he was home. she waited for me to get back. Then it was sorting that out loading the washing machine and making Hayley’s lunch before I took Hayley for photography class at the local park.

We were looking at the wildness of the area which is lovely sometimes Nature untouched.

Here are Hayley’s choices and photographs she took on her tablet I asked her to choose want she wanted to capture.

She captured the playground first it was completely empty we talked on the way up about making sure we didn’t capture other people.

She got some great shots then we took pictures of each other

Hayley is wearing another of her pretty dresses again. we got some good walking time and fun photography.

Hayley wanted some relaxing time on her tablet after our walk she does her puzzles and colour books on there while i prepared dinner. my hubby and i choose where to place some of the things around the garden.

Jake finished at 4 just in time for them all to eat the dinner I cooked. Then it was time to take Hayley with me to drop off Ellie;s birthday present can’t believe she is fourteen this year if feels like only yesterday she turned teenager and we gave her the memory book during lock down. Little Tom was so Happy to see Hayley to as he hasn’t seen her for a long time they were both happy to see each other.

We didn’t stop long as Hayley had to get home before her Freddie arrived for dinner Tuesday and Sundays is there dinner date days.

So I am just Going to finish blog today with some food photo’s I love summer time and the variety of foods kind of changes to more healthier meals rather then warm filling ones you need through winter time.

I love not only growing and makeing food but setting the tables up.

These are some of my favorites just because I love colorful food different textures and taste I am not selective any more and I hope if I keep exposing the kids to food and flavors eventually they will become more willing to try things they can now be around the smells most times. But that’s for another blog.

Good night much Love Faye xxx

#caring #family #home #football #kindness #weekends

Good evening to you hope you are well and having a beautiful start to the week.

This is one of my favorites songs it just makes me sit in silence very calmly, I am not sure why but I used to listen to this one a lot when my husband traveled away for work, actually, I do know I always missed him dearly and couldn’t wait for him to return home. we used to have this thing when he traveled away we would bring the mattresses downstairs all the pillows and duvets and have camping nights. the house was never the same without him here.

The kids loved it, we stayed up watched movies, played games I could never really sleep well, timezones made it difficult to talk. he always phoned to say good night and I always called to say good morning. sometimes it was super short calls because he had been working hard. he always used to pack at the last minute although I got everything he could possibly need while he was out there, I am a bit of an over preparer. everything from shoe polish to little glasses repair tool kits. it was quite a difficult time though because the kids were both going through the diagnosis process.

I had lots to share with him but kept a lot away from him because I knew there wasn’t anything he could do while he was working. sometimes I just wish he had been there at the times just for moral support, but you get on with it somehow one day at a time. I still was working here and managing kids in and out of schools those were the most difficult years of our journey. it’s really funny how songs have the ability to flood you with memories and emotions.

I was just driving to the shops and it came on the radio, still, that time of our lives has passed now and we are in a much different and more relaxed and content phase of our lives.

Moving on just had to get that out different things inspire my writing, I write from lives experiences how I think, how I feel. How my family experiences different things,I think many people do though, especially people that have been on big journey’s that have changed and impacted them as people.

I am an enthusiastic jolly person but also a very deep thinker, a little more on the sensitive side although that is not something I always like to show.

What has been going on since the last blog work definitely Hayley and the kiddo’s

Hayley she always her wonderful self she really is coming out of herself lately she is showing a love of learning new things confidence in doing some things herself, she is now super focused on getting even healthier.

she loved the makeover day the other week, dad said pour Fred’s jaw dropped when he saw her I think it’s the most famine Hayley has been in a long time, and obviously there is that very protective side of all of us over Hayley because of her learning disabilities and keeping her safe. but that isn’t a reason to not let her express that she likes her hair longer or likes to wear dresses occasionally.

she has got so used to wear trousers and t-shirts and I see this little sparkle she has when she gets in my car and has a dress on, her words are I out do you, a little friendly fashion competition going on I think.I am a very girly girl, love dresses. I like lipgloss and maybe some eyeliner and mascara, never let any foundation touch my skin though. I used to when I was a teen but I am too old for that now I like it simple and natural just a little bit to enhance my eyes. I am more than happy to go out without any on too.

The weather has been pretty mixed the last week’s rain and sunshine cooler. we got some time in the garden and out for walks. managed to get another trip to the tip so we almost have a finished garden.

Work with little Tom he is such the funniest sweetest boy ever, now it’s a little lighter later we have taken to having a walk together just the two of us down to the sweetie shop, lollipop runs we sing all the way there and back. before meds and settling downtime we sometimes read and sometimes play a little. before he goes to sleep and then listen to some calming music. I don’t stay in the room with him till he goes to sleep it happens naturally after I leave the room he gets way too excited if I stay in there.

Yes hide and seek behind his pillow was his game of choice and little holly must have heard us having fun because out of no one where she appeared and made me jump so she joined in. .they were kind of tag-teaming me. Toms got quite good at hand control with his pillow.

His mum has been trying to sort out some disability areas in the garden for him as he can’t use the other swing because of the accident, I really think it is very important for him to have outside play equipment that meets his needs and is also safe for him and carers supporting him. Kids need playtime and tom is like every other 12 years old wants to play lockdown taught us just how important outside time is in your own gardens especially for those that are shielding and couldn’t leave their house. outside play is such a therapeutic thing. so I think his mum said they are looking at an accessible swing that a mobile hoist can be used to transfer him, a sunken trampoline, and a rubberized play area for added safety. he already has the little Jacuzzi which he loves and is good for his muscles and a sensory garden his dad built. it comes down to working out the cost now. but it will greatly benefit both his physical and emotional health.

Holly and I also went for a trip out around the block one to one time, we always take the scooters it’s our thing we do together. it is so much fun as well though.

We saw the sunset and just stopped to admire it for a while the sky a beautiful pinky color Holly just said wow.

They slept well, actually, tom woke up a lot later than usual so just had time to give him a bath and massage and get him dressed the other carer arrived before I could do anything else so he did his meds and breakfast.

Saturday Niki helped at the Autism charity event and help collect money and helped on a stall it was a great experience for social skills and actually great to mix with other adults with autism people who could relate to her, Plus there were Super Hero’s there and it was ten minutes from home. She didn’t text much only when her walking stick broke and she needed her spare one and sweeties. Jake helped his dad in the garden putting some slabs down he did some of the digging was lovely watching them work together.

That’s what weekends are for pottering , to be honest, I was tired Saturday so spent much of it not doing much at all this mama needed some chill time.

I was on lunch duty

I had a beautiful afternoon nap and when I came down hubby had already got the dinner on the table.

I am going to finish today’s blog talking about the match on Sunday was a great game it’s easier to just share the video though and a few pictures. The build-up was quite exciting it’s hearing the football tune everyone getting creative with the support for their country. The flags hanging outside the excited chatter on the phone with family all gearing up to watch the match, Yes we didn’t win but it’s still beautiful to experience it.

Isn’t this exactly what footballs meant to inspire a love of the game, for all ages and abilities. to have something positive and inspiring whether you win or lose a community spirit. to inspire our kids to get active.

Our Jake as a baby his first kick of the ball. Their are always going to be people in the world who take things too far and spoil it for the vast majority of people who love football and don’t act racist or like hooligans They give our country a bad image. they should make them clean up the streets, and donate their free time to raising funds for kids to get sports lessons or food which some of these players they disrespect have done. that kind of inspired my heading for tonight’s blog kindness

Those last few moments of the game

That’s it for today’s blog have a restful night

Much love Faye