#emotion #care #family #EmoTheEmotionalElf

Good evening all, Hope your week has started well we as usual have had lots going on since the last blog works been busy, the kids have been joining in more again which is great there interaction kind of goes up and down all depending on how they are feeling wether they are anxious or depressed or really wanting company,

We leave it up to them to join in when there ready too really we don’t want them to feel that pressure to join in just to make us happy we can pretty much tell now when they need space by the way they speak. but definitely they are beginning to come start asking to do things with us. I love the fact at home we have that balance and are more intuitive with each others feelings. Getting to this stage in our journey has defiantly been a roller coaster of huge pockets of feelings, lots of big off loads of years of built up anxieties. but also lots of learning others perspective too, and accepting that if we don’t agree on something we put space between us and let it go. I don’t think adults are any better at it than kids infact sometimes kids have the upper hand on parents. as they are not afraid to tell us when we get it wrong. So they should.there isn’t any perfect parent out there just parents learning as we go, some have more experience then others some are first time parents some adoptive parents some are parent carers.

I was a first time parent of a son, a first time parent who lost a daughter a first time parent to another daughter and son. a first time parent of toddlers and teens and now adults. also suddenly throwing into parent carer ,ages and stages. and yet I feel I have so much more to learn as a parent. Are we ever really experienced parents? are are we just parents giving our all and learning as we go. parent is the biggest learning course you will ever attend that gets updated faster then Microsoft. sometimes a little corrupted input is added to derail you and make you change, always a better version, then the one before it hits it’s time limit and you reset it to the better version you were before.

There is always outside input from outsourced people, work , family, friends, schools governments.always researching and pushing your mind passed any previous limits. sometimes time stands still and other times it passes quickly leaving you thinking and pondering over your life.lots of positive influences and negative ones along the way, only as adults we are more selective about what we let in and what we choose to walk away from. because your more in tune with what you feel.

I didn’t even plan to write that it suddenly just popped up while sitting here, my brain is searching for more input all the time i look at the world in wonder sometimes, other times i want that space build that fire wall and keep everyone out. I am glad i don’t do that as its only a temporary default setting have you ever just sat there and that windows defender pops up on your computer, I think humans have that inbuilt as a protection the fight or flight response.

There is always good and bad and that middle line that gets crossed but shouldn’t but there is also growth in that space it isn’t always so black and white, once that lines crossed though you have to work at double speed to undo what was broke and set it on a new path us humans can really do it if we care enough to try.

As a parent I always will keep an open mind to learn, an open heart to accept and express nurture and love and a gift of stepping back and letting them try and sometimes fail so they learn to grow. always with an understanding listening ear, and a healthy boundary setting.

It’s very much like learning social media for the first time or teaching a grandparent how to use Facebook set in there ways a little intimidated to learn new things frustrated when they go wrong yet they learn even when they think they can’t our mind has a funny way of setting off them alarm bells when we set outside the box.

last weekend was a pure relax , and reset.

Jakes NCS he had another short session in preparation for the summer program in two weeks, and he is looking forward to it now he is pushing past that i am not going to like it stage the nobody likes me feeling. and joining on the way there it began to rain a little so we thought it was going to be counseled then it stopped as we arrived, i watched for a distance away like last time close enough in case he messaged but far away enough that he couldn’t see me. he went over a little more confidently this time, once I saw he was settled I went for a walk and impulsively did a video. it was a video I didn’t plan didn’t think about just did because I was loving being in the moment at one with nature and loving the tiny bit of my time all by myself. plus a bit of a safety thing to as its a big park and quite empty of people.

Then I made my way back to car as i knew it would end up finishing early. on the way back i heard the most beautiful sound Little kids coming out of there gym class and there parents squealing with delight and laughing as they ran to there cars to get out of the rain wanting to get there quick but enjoying the feel of the cold rain. it was the most beautiful sound ever.

I arrived back at car the same time as Jake did then we both realized had to pay for parking the parking paypoint way over the other side of the car park i tried to convince Jake to stay dry in the car but he wanted to accompany me there as we made a dash for it he took his coat of and tried to protect me from the rain, i was having to much fun to take it the it was rather refreshing after all the humidity we have had lately.

Before and after lol I love it though you don’t care what your wearing how your hair looks weather your make up runs just that you have that moment of laughter because really that is the most rewarding and important thing in life.

We worked on independent cooking skills with Niki i was the kitchen supervisor and cleaner. and just an adviser she cooked dinner for me and her dad i just had to help with the hot pans.

Niki and me went to get her glasses fixed she accidentally trod on them that’s the problem she has she puts them down and then can’t see too find them. luckily we had her old frames which were in good condition so they swapped the lenses over for us.or that could have been an expense Woopsie moment. you can probably tell my daughter loves Anime from the outfit. it’s how she channels her anxiety becoming different characters in a creative way.

We did arts and crafts with Hayley which she loved

Made her favorite new food stuffed peppers.

Played cards and bingo, Made up little dance videos to send to Mum. taking her to and from day centers and organizing her meds and zoom meetings. she had a over night stay here on Friday, she had the luxury of my room and we had the front room, I forgot just how uncomfortable the floor actually is, still it was only a night next time I will have the spare mattress ready.

Captured photos for her memory book.

Yesterday I took Jake for a walk in town just the two of us he needed some new trousers and T-shirts had another growth spurt didn’t really matter as much in lockdown as know one could see he had outgrown some of his clothes but now we are out and about again it matters. after dropping Hayley at the day center this morning it was Niki’s time for a walk out around town for excessive she wanted to spend some of her money.

We had a lovely time were going to sit and eat in the park but it decided to rain. We picked Hayley up on the way home , Niki and Hayley were having a laugh Niki got Hayley to try her boots on Hayley is always eagre to join in with Niki , they have such a lovely bond.

As you can see Hayley enjoyed the dress up session hubby didn’t want to be left out

I can’t take him seriously sometimes he makes me laugh way to much

Hayley choose to wear a dress today because this afternoon I was taking her for one on one shopping she saved up to do some shopping as she has been so busy lately we have had much time to do the shopping days. which is something she loves to do once a month.

then i pampered her face, pack nails, Hair and make up.

We did our You Tube and some maths and reading before I took her home .

I am just going to finish the blog with sharing i have sold some more books this week which was a lovely surprise and talk about our you tube channels development been learning so much on how to create videos uploading is the ease part been making end cards to add the subscribe buttons and the video extras to be more engaging.

Then I just had to record a short video so i could see how they worked in video its pretty much about learning to adjust timings and placements adding things so others know where else they can follow our journey or get in contact.

That’s it for today i am hoping when i go up Niki and Jake are sound asleep we shall see. I have work at 8.30 and now here it is just turning 1.30 am

Goodnight Much love Faye xxx