#emotions #fathersday #EmoTheEmotionalElf

HI all how are you all doing, well lots has been going on since my last blog, and to be honest I have sat down to write many times I just don’t think I was in the right head space since my uncles funeral for the words to just come naturally like they usually do. so took some time away from writing. Speaking of my uncle it really felt how hard this fathers day was for my cousins with out their dad there and am so very lucky to have spent it with my hubby and our 2 youngest kids. You have probably got to know a lot about me and my style of writing, always with the photographs.

My dad wrote a post the other day, it was so sad he was saying that he didn’t realize how important photo’s are for us after our loved ones have passed each capture is a memory we shared together, and it was sad he only has one photo of his mum and dad and how that one photo held memories for him of his parent’s.

People often talk about things they want to do to leave their legacy’s for their kids, me the legacy I want to leave for my kids is the ability to lead a happy life one where they are surrounded by love and kindness acceptance for who they are, to know with every picture a mother just happy to be around them, a mother who loved them for them exactly how they are a mother that smiles and laughs. so on their bad days there will always be something to lift them and show them just how much they mean. How much they captured my heart from the moment they arrived. how blessed i feel to share all their important milestones with them, the first word,the first step, their education. their first love.

I love motherhood and everything about it. I love sharing parenthood with my hubby,.

so where shall i go next with this blog today.

Fathers day

I think even with the sad losses we have to celebrate their lives and what they ment to us when they were here.

Father’s day this year so close to the birthday of our daughter who passed away a big milestone she would have been 25 this year on the 26th of June our AMY.

Then their is our first Born josh he wasn’t with us in person but was on the phone to his dad first thing the morning of Fathers day,and his gift arrived today, I actually think it is the first year he hasn’t been with us and it felt a little strange not having him here.

So memories come in handy when your missing someone, actually the funny thing is i found the video of all of Josh’s firsts few years of birthday’s and looking at that sweet baby who has all grown up and flown the nest was just the lift to keep me smiling.

His smile his beautiful little eyes, Coming down the stairs in his dads arms on his second birthday.the easiest and the hardest thing in the world is to love, firstly it is very rewarding, you to feel it in your soul and hard because you love so much it hurts when their not there. It has that ability to hold you captive.

The day before father’s day I spent quality time one on one with the kids in preparation I took Jake out for a while first he choose what he wanted to get his dad put a lot of though into it. Something Practical he needed, something funny.

He is also beginning to get his own sense of self now and got himself a couple of new shirts. striking up his own individuality.

Then Niki and i went out together again a lot of thought went into her gifts, she choose him a nice shirt the colour really suit him her other gift was a new clock for the kitchen wall i had this red one and it was a little busy with words she remembered her dad saying he found it hard to see the time and it is something they could both relate too because they both have issues with their eye sight, when I got the clock i was thinking along the lines it went with the colour on the feature walls. when really i should of thought about it from their perspective.

I have to get a bit better at that,still a simple bonding thing.

Which reminds me finally my hubby made a call for getting his eyes checked again as there is an issue developing that needs investigating, he had intraocular lenses put in a few years back and his right eye is not so good right now. he can avoid getting things checked sometimes, I find if I nag him to go he will take longer so I stopped. he is making the right steps though now i just hope it is something that can be sorted. Shame i can’t pick him up put him over my shoulder and carry him to that appointment ,I HAVE BEEN TEMPTED TO DO JUST THAT. he drives me nuts sometimes.

Then the fun began decorating and setting the table, dad was banished to the front room while Niki, Jake and I work our magic.

It’s never what you spend but the time effort love and care on which you do it.

Niki independently made the cake I was their with her but she did it herself, and it kind of went a little wrong instead of giving up and getting upset that it wasn’t perfect she fixed it we laughed so much together.

Guess who had to clean up though, A volcano of sprinkles to hide where it went wrong , tastes delicious though i think it was perfect because she did it herself.

Then I have finally learned how to use Tik Tok to put some videos together , I made them for hubby and for my dad as a more personalized fathers day gift.

First for my hubby just picking some of my favorite Father and kid moments,

Then my dad some of the fantastic times we have had together.

The 2 men in my life that have been my constant support they actually get on really well which is a bonus.

was quite late when i finished everything.

Fathers day morning we all got up and sat in the kitchen for the big reveal shocking both kids up early in my house.

Candles lit coffee on the go was over with in 20 minutes, Jake went to carry on with his school work Niki wanted more sleep, i spent the day cooking, while sitting and listening to music with hubby the kids popping in and out, it works for them to do thing in short time spans rather than longer ones. Changing for the meal. popping on our best clothes as if we were in a big function.

and what a cracking photo of Jake smiling a lot of mischief to get that I wish he smiled more it lights up his face.

My boy is now taller than me and i am wearing heels , gosh they grow so fast.

The food turned out great roast lamb, oven cooked jacket potatoes, salad with fresh lettuce from the garden and herbs plus some mint cooked with the peas roasted carrots and my favorite parsnips , Making my mouth water thinking about it now. There is always something about a good home cooked meal and that it makes you sleepy the sitting and watching a movie ended up with one hubby a sleep.

I have lots of other things to write but want to give this blog over to just our beautiful weekend.

Goodnight much love Faye xxxx