Hi all how are you really doing today?
I ask this question because the easy answer or reply to this is I am good thanks, is that really how you feel?
Or just sometimes the easiest reply because sometimes the reality is very different.
Honesty about emotions is something we are maybe some how programmed against saying when your having a tough day.
It really is ok to say your not ok.
Everyone at some point in there life goes through difficult emotions some are better at hiding it and keeping it to themselves masking Thier true feelings because of this precived thoughts that others will not understand.
The truth is we all have that ability to reach out if we talk to someone and they don’t seem to answer or act in the same way we are used to seeing them answer.
Maybe it’s time of voice or thier body langue if you really look or listen to those you come in contact with you get a much better understanding.
Almost like reading between the lines, some of this I have picked up on by our journey to getting the autism diagnosis, I listen to many autistic adults and they like to use the term autisic rather then have autism.
This I understand and I accept but when going through the diagnosis the term used to tell parents and children is autism wether that is right or wrong is a bit blurred, because you get used to using the terms in which they are given to you. My 2 youngest are autistic and at the moment they themselves say they have autism and don’t seem to bothered by the use or terms of either maybe to them at there age they are just words, and knoing that there is a reason why they find things difficult and why they feel they don’t fit in is all part of learning to understand and accept themselves for who they are.
The diagnosis is still pretty fresh for our family, and their are difficulties of tourettes and generalized anxiety, to add to the list as well as some health issues. Which are still being investigated.
They are doing very well at the moment, Thier anxiety although with them all the time, is more easy for them to control.
They are having the correct support in place which also has an impact on reducing Thier anxiety.
My kids surprise me all the time that dispute all they have been through and all they have to deal with they are wanting and willing to give news things a try.
We still have a long way to go, but as a family we are better at speaking about things that bother us, things that maybe we could all do a little different, my kids are starting to ask for the help they need this is truly a huge step forward for them.
The Elves have helped along the way, just as a slight distraction from the anxiety, But also to add a little fun along the way, they certainly have brought alot of that to our lives over the last couple of years. The book Emo the Emotional Elf, shows this to how we learned to start just being us again start seeing things through our children’s eye’s but also to help deal with some of the lost lives of family members.
I think we truly would of coped better with the diagnosis of our family weren’t passing away at the same time. Just so much happened in such a very short space of time.
I joined an Elf group before Christmas and people were asking for tips on nice Elves , some even had autistic children who lost family members and they became attached to thier elves, and when it was time for them to leave it seemed not right to take the thing away that gives them a Sence of security.
I know my children become attached to things very easily, wether a toy a favourite hobby, a person.
These can sometime be very restrictive and repetitive. This is just a part of Thier personality and that’s really ok, it isn’t hurting anyone.
There are much worse things in life to be attached too.
I am Happy if they smile even if it is the odd rare occasion I definatley like to capture there smiles in photo’s to show them the good when they are having a not so good day.
Disfuctional family this term is used so very easily, to autistic children adults and families. The way I see it is they are not disfuctional , just there own kind of functional who is anyone else to say, that it is a bad thing it is just different.
They say autistic people don’t like change and sometimes this is true.
But many people who are not autistic don’t really do well with change either, if they did the would have more of an accepting way of talking to autistic people and families who have Disabilities hidden or visible.
Communities would make adaptions needed for everyone to access things like the rest of society.
They would give opportunities to all,
I guess their is still alot for the world to learn, on this. I myself still am learning about what needs to happen in our world to make it great for everyone.
I cannot change what happens with others , but I can change how my kids are seen and treated by not staying silent, I can challenge things that need to change To make things better for my children.
Just like they themselves are learning and changing everyday, Niki was a child who is autistic now she is an adult who is autistic , Jake is still a child who is autistic he will grow into and autistic adult.
But they are also Just Niki and Jake the person too. Let’s never forget that .
Have a beautiful Sunday,
Here are some pictures from Jake’s kungfu graduation today, he is working so very hard towards his black belt the best investment we have ever made was sending him to kungfu.
Much love Faye XXX
If I get things wrong sometimes it is ok , sometimes the mistakes make you stronger. Sometimes mistake lead to a better version of yourself.