#emotions #caring #elves

Hi everyone , how are you somehow I feel like writing , today hasn’t been the best day and it’s real complex, sitting here thinking about the next thing to do first thing Monday. I hate when you hit a complication on a weekend and everywhere is out of office, weekends are my only down time to relax with my kiddo’s as a mum I try hard not to let my stress show infront of kids, something I got used to not doing since they were diagnosed , but it isn’t always easy to do that, Mind you as a family we have worked on talking about our feelings a lot, they always pick up on little details about you. Jake spent most of the day by my side and talking with his dad. I had a long chat with my mum today which always makes me feel better.

I am Always grateful for her advice and support you never really know when the intense feelings are going to happen they come like a wave,   it isn’t always practical for me to go for walk to clear my head  but I do have the car I can go sit in just to give my self a chance to think and feel without anyone there.

I definatley have a lot on my shoulders at the moment, and they are strong ones. You know over the years we have gone through multiple diagnosis processes , EHCP’S multiple times, mandatory reconciderations, appeals  processes, victim support, we lost many family members, I know I probably written some of this before something’s it just all hits you what you been through, then you think your out the other side of it and your relaxed and beginning to make real good progress on everything you want to change and it is like life says hey no your better where you were, let’s just start it all again from the begining . I know that’s not reality though and this is just a different challenge to overcome like the ones before, but it does bring back all those feelings from before and there is nothing stopping it hitting you full force, Missing Family , being over positive sometimes gives you a false sense that everything will be easier from now on

I really just want a weekend where I can sit and not worry about everything. I think maybe I am just really over tired,

Anyway enough of that , Friday was a double shift first Hayley in the day time, we had a dress as an elf day, so did the day center for there zoom and it’s also for awareness of dementia .

I Elfed everything good Job I have the collection already,

Quite a few collected over the last few years , Hayley actively gets envolve’s with it .

The Evening shift was with the kids, dinner and games with Thier dad, before taking them back home.

We played pass the brussel it’s about like pass the passel where you unwrap Layer when the music stops. And there are jokes and christmas hats and tiny gifts. Was fun to play even Tom joined in with some help from his dad.

So 2 good shifts

Tommy how ever seems to be poorly today, he had to start antibiotics today , and weather it’s them or he has a sickie bug not sure. To be honest if it’s the antibiotics stopping and changing them will help if it’s a sickie bug . I really hope I don’t go down with it, I wore a mask and washed my hands wore gloves for personal care. But really if you catch it which when your round kids there is a risk of that every parents dread getting that. We hate our kids having it more though, I am just waiting for Tom’s mum to get back to me once out of hours call her back .

Anyway good night , I quite often talk to myself through writing it’s a way of trying to see the issues from the out side of my head perspective.