Emo The Emotional Elf, #author #elves #emotions #anxiety #autism #mentalhealth

Hi all , hope you had a great day

Today I turned Tec off for a while a just spent time with my Niko and the children, home made soup, music and movies, the names “Bond James Bond”

Good classic movies.

When you can just sit In Silence with your most favorite people In the world,

Wishing you a beautiful evening

All my love too you xx

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Emo the Emotional Elf #author #elves #emotions #anxiety #autism #mentalhealth#publishing

Hello everyone, I hope your day has been a great one and not full of to many challenges for you.

Today has been good for us here, so to make it a little easier for you to read I will put a little header, in real life I have a huge tendency to change topic really quickly when I am talking, and unfortunately it sometimes transfers to my writing an annoying thing I know my husband is not afraid to tell me this, much to my annoyance, after not so subtly stomping off mumbling under my breath really unkind things.

I know I come over a little sickly sweet sometimes but I am human and have my own imperfect habits which I own.

Part of the reason I still procrastinate over doing some video blogs or updates is because I waffle, and get distracted easily. I also have a lot of nervous energy so fidget with my hair, hands or anything on the table in front of me.

I have spilt my coffee many times over forms I have had to fill in, that took me ages. Really I should apologise to all the people that had to receive time sensitive forms with coffee stains ground in.

Emo the Emotional Elf

I received the legal deposit receipt from the British library yesterday, from the publishers. I was beginning to think it would happen and very happy that it has, thinking about framing it.

Sharing the news first with Hayley was as great she may not understand things like most people because of her learning disability but she jumped up and down and what our Emo book, she is one of my biggest supporters she tells everyone about the book.

Next was Jake waiting at the school with letter in my hand, he came over to me as he always does before afternoon tutor and ask what I was holding, I tried to get him to wait till after the end of school but he was intrigued to see what it was, he looked at it and the biggest smile came on his face.

Niki was next she was happy too; I love to share these positive things.

Research  

Research is ongoing while we are trying to come to an agreement and solution with the liquidators.

Researching the best editors, typesetters, agents

Illustrator’s, and programs used.

Book shops both online and off, avenues to take your book to events or talking at events for authors.

Being an author is a huge responsibility especially I think in children’s books, as an author you have the ability to bring something special to a child.

Whether a book is fiction or non-fiction books can have a lifelong imprint on a child’s life.

I learnt to read using the ladybird books Peter and Jane and although they were illustration`s  and not photos like my book there was this real life feel to them that I could relate to which made it easier to read.

So you see being an author is different to just writing a book it is much more every day you learn a little bit more, every day you become more accepting of yourself as an author. More confident in your sense of self more understanding of where you fit into the millions of other authors out there.

You get as far on the journey as your willing to allow yourself, because we are our own worst critics sometimes and our own achievement.

Where it takes you is your responsibility first and four most. Whatever way you go self-publish, partnership publishing or traditional the people you meet on the journey , will bring you joy, frustrate you and yes sometimes make you angry but ultimately they will push you to enhance your work

And make your book the best version it can be and that is what will sell you as an author and copies of your book.

Reviews

I have also taken my writing in another direction as well reviewing places I have visited and giving honest accounts, of the experience. Yes some excellent reviews, some ok reviews and some not so good reviews.  Just like I would expect for my book also not everyone is going to like it is important is important in any business.

It really depends on whether I enjoyed it or not, being a Carer, and a mother of kids who are autistic going out and about can bring many challenges it has to be accessible, I look for a great shopping experience and good interaction with staff. Clearly displayed pricing, good quality and value for money. I try to go at quieter times if Niki and Jake are with me so my experience while fending off any issues or anxiety’s the children may have can be sorted quickly this means not huge crowds or long ques to have to deal with.

Online presence as well as offline

Two Years ago I was just about able to search google and upload to Facebook, that was the extent of my knowledge oh and maybe buying things online.

Now I have LinkedIn, WordPress, Instagram Twitter personal family and friends Facebook and very soon an up and running author page there too.

I have set up author pages on the five main amazon author central UK, Us, Japan, Germany and France.

I have gained many acquaintances both professionally and personally and I have made some very beautiful friendships.

I have had amazing uplifting support and a lot of love along the way, help by pointing me in the right direction as far as internet site building.

I did that myself, it may have some way to go but still it is so Much further then when I started. Learning is always ongoing

Most importantly I have become who I am meant to be a smart, confident, healthy woman, mother and wife.

We have a new Elf who arrived today he is called Alfie he comes with a big smiley face and sunny disposition.

Many thanks

Much love Faye

  xxxx

Emo the Emotional Elf #author #editing #review #learning #helping #autism #anxiety #mentalhealth #emotions

Hi all, today’s update is somewhat highlighting the issues I still seem to have with my writing, it is still a huge area of weakness for me and is not done on purpose.

It is a huge part of my hidden disadvantage of understanding the nuances of spelling, grammar and punctuation. Although I have come a long way since I first started to write my book, I still have a long way to go to grasp the technicalities of writing.

I wrote a review for my author friend and fellow mother Heather Golding and when I first published it my husband told me to go back and edit it because I was doing Heather and myself a disserves by not reading it through before posting. He was Right on this

So I went back and edited it thinking I edited it the right way then I re-posted my edited version. I was not right and maybe this is where my biggest challenge arises. When I look at the words I write I seem to be blinded by how it looks to me, and the way my brain processes the written word.

But also because I tend to write with my heart instead of my brain and the two are not necessarily on the same page at the same time.

I had the same issues when I was at school where my teacher’s would say Faye try’s her best but needs to work harder on her punctuation, spelling and presentation.

Today having seen Heather kindly uploading my review of her book on her LinkedIn profile, and reading it through, she had made some changes to the edit, my words and review but adding brackets to where she changed it to what it was supposed to be. Heather has done something for me that no-one except the editor of my book has done, and shown me where the mistakes are, and not left me to try and figure it out for myself  which sometimes is impossible and I just don’t know why.

But she was too kind and having put her changes in brackets, I highlighted her changes in red.

I went over my originally published post and put in blue brackets, the ones she quietly changed. I can now see where I am going wrong, I am hoping if I keep re-reading this post it will help my brain finally grasp the same silly mistakes I keep making and actually not do them again.

I am a published author that won’t change, but it doesn’t mean I don’t have a lot to learn to overcome my writing disability and I won`t give up however long it takes. I am dedicated to my book as I am too my work as a carer or my husband and children.

The very reason for writing the book in the first place was to show my kids that despite them being autistic and having anxiety and other issues they can, keep trying  however many times to get to where they want to be in life.

So it is with great respect to Heather and to me that I am willing to put my errors on show for all to see. In order to make me a better author, writer.

Because the colour change has helped a lot and seeing it like this at first made me angry at myself for just not understanding why I keep getting the things wrong that many kids including mine have understood at an early age.

There may or may not be some mistakes in what I have written just now but I can`t see them at the moment.

Here is the edited version, of my book review, for Heather.

Now as I upload this from Microsoft word to my WordPress it doesn’t seem to allow for the colour change so you will see the entire mistake in brackets the ones Heather herself highlighted and the ones I highlighted that she didn’t .

Book review: “Autism On the Frontline” by Faye Farmer…

“So, having completely (emenced) (immersed) myself in Heather Golding’s book and story.

Which I must say is heart wrenching, honest and true of her journey with her(e) family and what little Mat(t)hew and his sister herself and her husband Hank has had to endure, (.) in (T)their lifetime.

I see many similarities between our (families) family’s journey and (ours) yours. I see and feel and understand it, (100 per cent!)

Everything she thinks and feels (,) many families with children, who are autistic, (have also felt) whether diagnosed very early or had to wait slightly longer for a diagnosis (,) – and in our case: when my kids were in double digits and entering (their) Pre-teens and teenage years.

There is one thing that stands out moss across the world that happens (their) there, as well as over this side of the pond.

(There is) still a huge lack of understanding from (an) education (and) healthcare system (,) but also a

 much (-)needed financial support families rely on,(bit) but have to prove they are not scamming (the system) to receive.

It is shocking (the amount of) paperwork (;) the moving from school to school (;) from one specialist to another. This is loud and clear in Heather’s well (-) written and articulate book.

All the emotions she felt is the same as adults, (and children) who are autistic and their families.

My children are verbal and have learnt to talk about

(T) their own feelings and I hope that one day Mat(t)hew finds his voice in whatever form of communication he is able to achieve. I would highly recommend Heather’s book, because hearing (the) voices, of parent’s that speak up for their non (-) verbal kids, as well as hearing the voices of the who are verbal (is an) important part of understanding (the) their needs, so they can be better met for the children as early as possible (.a) A mother’s instinct about their children (,) is important. The fact to where they (are) got at the end of the book, speaks volumes about that.

(But) don’t take my word for it(,)take a chance(-)get the book for yourself and just read it (it) is that simple.(,) (m)Many people judge, stare, comment and make assumptions about autistic individuals and their families, without being prepared to put themselves in their shoes.

Heather I really respect you for feeling what you(feel) (felt) honestly writing it and sharing it, and getting up each day, for the sake of your family.

(ally) All my love and best wishes.

(I) look forward to reading the next stage in your journey and how Matthew is seeing the world”-(through his eyes-but through your eyes- a mother’s eyes) xx

Written by Faye Kerry Famer- 16 January 2019

Re- transcribed and slightly corrected the spelling or edited in any missing words (in brackets) by Heather Golding- Author 21 January 2019

Many thanks.

Much love Faye

Emo the Emotional Elf , #Author #elves #emotions #book #anxiety #autism #mentalhealth

Hi all, how has your weekend been.

Peaceful? adventurous? A working weekend or full of relaxation.

What about your family have they driven you mad, made you laugh, or been quite, life is full of many surprises some good some outstanding some mediocre and some bad. This I think is true where ever you are from this is all part of everyday family life.

Doesn’t mean you don’t love or like them, it’s because you do that they effect you either way.

I have had a beautiful weekend with my family lots of smiles, laughs.

Today they all were being responsible , showers, rooms tidy, homework completed this is not always the case but today it happened without prompts without mums nagging, or mum going on strike😀

Without dad backing mum up with reminders.

My sweetheart 💗

My hubby has been sharing some funny posts with me today, about time is all I can say.

I am fully ready for the school week ahead, uniforms pressed, bags sorted. Again this is not always the case sometimes I say I will get up early and get it ready, that always leads to me sleeping through the alarm and being in a mad rush. Hasn’t happened alot lately because I am miss organised more often then not. Biggest adventure I had this weekend was singing at the top of my voice while completing my ironing😀 pretending I was at a luxury spar. I have had fun though spending time with Nik and the kids , I have even seen my hubby’s

Lips curl up into a smile alot this weekend always a pleasure to see.

His reminder to Jake to thank me for dinner had me laughing when Jake said I haven’t heard you say thank you either. Out of the mouths of our kids, it is kind of ironic that that use our words on us.

Jake found his maths home work a bit of a challenge he did attempt it even though he thinks he has not be taught how to do that perticular thing in maths yet. We told him to speak to his teacher about it if he doesn’t understand, this I think is where a little of Jake’s issue lie, in that if he hasn’t learnt something that he has been set homework for he has difficulty understanding why it has been set as homework . He prefers a sheet of paper for homework then doing it online.

Niki has been talking to her Tom, and being creative. I love watching and looking at some of the amazing things she creates.

I now have put my feet up and am sharing the front room with Nik watching movies. Although I am not watching much of it but just enjoy his company.

The biggest lesson I learn is when they annoy you say nothing, it is good for your sanity and they least expect that reaction. Plus it can’t be your fault when it goes wrong them.

Sometimes we make situations worse my by trying to get others calm, it comes from a great place of helping but does nothing to stop situations excalating. I can’t believe that I am at this point now of such calm and relaxed sense of who I am. I am beginning to see the humorous behind some of the the worst times and that’s not a bad thing but it shows those times don’t affect me like they used too.

I am so ready for the good moments to happen more, for my kids and my hubby and me. And all my family we certainly giving it a great try.

Tonight I smile while I write, if you could see the facial expressions that my hubby sees you would probally laugh he keeps asking if I am ok.

Music

What’s your favourite type to listen too while you do the jobs around the house? I have a wide range of tastes as far as music goes except not to teenage clubby type, they give me a headache, my kids are the same as they were brought up with a dad who was a DJ so they have wide tastes to.

Jake at the moment loves Josh Groben

But also some deeper meaning ones too.

Anyway that’s it my mind is empty for another night.

May you sleep be peaceful

All my love

Faye

Emo the Emotional Elf #author #elves #emotions #book #autism #anxiety #mentalhealth

Hi all, how’s your day been.

Morning routine work

Congratulations off a Nightshift there is that point you get tired but muster the high energy you need, always easy when you have happy smiley faces to greet.

The kids work up later today so a quick well planned rush to get them ready to go home the girls got themselves ready, Tom his cerebral palsy means he needs that doing for him, he was his usual cheeky self, laughing while I tried to get his trousers on. A little massage soon has his legs loosened up. Then to get his tops on while he is trying to get my glasses, I must remember to tie my hair back as he really likes to grab it. I then get him to his wheel chair ready for meds and breakfast, and he is even more mischievous and makes his leg go stiff he doesn’t want to sit in there it’s a little game he plays, note his personality he is such a sweet happy funny boy, he really melts my heart his eye communication has come so much this last year .

I get him in his wheel chair and his actually banging his hand on the table he wants his milk shake,” I say are you telling me to hurry up” as clear as anything he says “yeah” first to peg feed him his meds followed by his special milkshakes he has these as an add on to his diet as he is not always able to eat his food. He is very chesty today so before he eats his food I give him some of his Inhayler and manage to get alot of stuff off his chest, this really helps before he eats and he doesn’t seem to choke or swallow his food while coughing.

Next we call the girls to come eat there breakfast they always get a choise Ellie going for chocolate cereal while holly loves her porridge. Tom decided to have porridge as well today. The girls are talking while eating looking up can we have milkshake, holly reminds us she is a big girl now and doesn’t where nappy pants, and she was dry. That is so great it has been a couple of weeks since she choose to try,

While the girls were Finnish I am giving Tom his porridge he has some meds that get mixed in so important we get some of his breakfast orally into him. He managed about half of it before he wouldn’t eat any more.

They are happy and cheeky laughing .

Tom always likes to watching a program after. We all rocked this morning routine only taking 30 mins.

Play time with Holly and Ellie before dad

and Toms other carer to pick them up. Relay the things about the might for hand over to other carer.

Another fab shift.

Home Time

Back at home begin the routine again only with my kids Jake is still asleep, my hubby slowly stirring, Niki had a delivery I take it to her she is so happy, the outfit Tom brought her for Christmas that didn’t fit and had a few defects, has arrived i must admit she has been focused on it not being right since Christmas anime outfits have to look how they do, she loves acting out these characters. It fits perfect.

I really think this special interest is great for her anxiety, and her confidence maybe away masking and getting away from the everyday stresses, she can be someone else for a while. She has made some great friends through cosplay.

Jake and my hubby now awake, breakfast finnished.

My mum calls for a chat, she has been a little poorly but she just carries on regardless, stubburn to a fault as doctors did want to keep her on hospital after last appointment I don’t think they have any chance of getting her to stay , still she feels a bit better, this I a glad. I say goodbye to my mum.

The other phone goes it is my mother in-law phoning for a chat we have a nice little catch up, she has he plaster off her hand now and just needs to wait physio.

As I am talking to my mother in-law my mobile goes in the kitchen , It was my dad he has finished his shopping and needs a lift home, I grab a mouthfull of coffee before going to pick him and Hayley up. I drop them home and sit with Hayley while dad drops Holly’s iPod she forgot when she left this morning.

Home again. Homemade Dinner

Teaching Jake traditional Greek dish

It is now nearly 13.45pm, today I am teaching Jake to make a Greek dinner

Pastitsio I have perfected it now and know longer need the recipe, all the ingredients are layed out ready today we are making 2 of them the traditional one and a vegatarian using

Quorn mince and replacing the beef stock with vegtable stock, this is for Niki. Jake of course is getting used to cooking new foods but won’t eat it yet. Had a tiny bit of issue with smell but stayed and helped. It isn’t so hard to do to versions at the same time.

It takes about 40 minutes to prepare ready for the oven, and before the top layer of source is added we have to wait for dishwasher to Finnish so we can clean and have the space to make it. Seperated dishes go in the oven for about 30-40 mins untill slightly brown on top.

While In the oven I speak to my oldest Josh on the phone for a good chat, I love these little moments of being included I his life even though he lives a couple of hours away, I pass the phone to my hubby set the table for dinner before Jake comes and chops the Tomatoes , spinnish and cucumber, I do the onions and show him how to dress it with olive oil, white wine, vinegar, Origano, salt pepper, the Finnish touch a flower cut from lemon. The table is set with a selection of olives , Hallomi, and little green chillies, not to for get the crusty fresh bread.

The candles are lit soft soul music playing in the back ground.

I take the Pastitso out of the oven and place on side till it cools a little while I cook Jake’s mini waffles yes they have carrots in them. I plate up the Pastitso, add a sprig of pasley just to Finnish.

Now time to sit and eat it looks great smells great, the plates are emptied very quickly, Niki and Jake talking so nice at the table today, Niki even asked Jake to help her pour her drink which he did.

Sometimes over the years dinner time became a stressful time but slowly we are all learning to do it more often now Jake is learning to be around foods he doesn’t eat and with all the smells of the cooking.

They take Thier plates a d put them by the sink and go relax in thier rooms.

My hubby is full and watching a movie in the front to I load the dishwasher, and finally come out my feet up tiredness hits. I must of fell asleep for a short while.

Now I am awake this is the time I love to write the most, this is a little look I’m to a day of my life, on the go from from yesterday morning.

Have a beautiful evening

Much love Faye,

Emo the Emotional Elf #author #elves #emotions #autism #anxiety #mentalhealth

Hi all how has your day been today,

Book news

Finally got through to the liquidators today, and promises to give minutes of meeting still not been pasted on to us, again they tried making us pay £100 for the digital copy and indesign. I know they said a few authors had payed for there’s and I feel sorry that they hold all our books to ranson in affect, the authors in a very desperate situation, there really should be so much more protection out Thier for authors in the event of liquidation.

First I don’t have £100 spare at the moment , I am Saving up for Jake’s school trip to Pompey next year, he really wants to go, hopefully his autism won’t be a reason he isn’t allowed. That is what happened with Niki’s school trip to Spain when she went to that mainstream. School they wouldn’t fund the support for the trip, she never went into Spanish again after that.

I can’t justify handing over £100 if I don’t have my digital copy or InDesign copy I’m my hands before any money is handed over , there is a saying once bitten twice shy.

Paying once and losing is bad enough , right now I don’t trust them to give me my book if I payed the money doesn’t make good business Sence to do that. I want it sorted quick so I can get moving with it, and part of me says what the heck just pay, bit there is a massive part of me that wants to stand up for all is authors and say this is not right we payed , you deliver what we payed for or refund us money. Every little tiny bit of my work on this book is out there except the book, the details of learning and setting up blogs and author pages , raising money to pay for the book, setting up the author signing. So much more , I always am dedicated to things I care about my family ,those I work with, my book.

I always like to go a little bit further, then expected it is just who I am.

Jake’s panic attack

Jake came home from school today and said he had a panic attack in class , home economics he said his helper didn’t show up either, and he usually has one for this perticular lesson. The reason for the panic is that he has learnt to make rolls and plated mini bread at school and it was something new he tried and liked and could eat, the teacher came over with poppy seeds he asked what they were and she proceeded to tip them on his bread, I don’t know how many times we have to mention Jake’s eating issues,.if his helper was there they would have known not to do that.

His Eating is still one step forward and two back, but at least he won’t give up I will follow up with a email to school to check why support was not there.

Tonight I work the children. All asleep soundly paper work is all done I like to keep a track of Tom’s progress .

We all played games together before settling for stories , Tom made 2 chooses both books about dogs. He laughed when he touched the ones he wanted.

Then the Mary Poppins song sent all three 2 sleep, where they have been for hours now, Tom wanted to hold my hand while he went to sleep his grip is getting so good now we practice this alot with him by putting things in his hands and seeing how long he can hold them.

This pretty much all for today, I Finnish at 10am . We I return home I then have to get Jake to his kungfu lesson by 11.00 before I can go home and rest😀💗

Emo the Emotional Elf #author #elves #emotions #autism #anxiety #mentalhealth

welcome to all new site visitors , many thanks for following, i look forward to reading your posts also.

Today has been another great day the Jake had a good day at school and was even pleased to tell me his maths test went good, i am happy to here this because when he had difficulties and refused to go to school, and we finally got him back through the school gates he got really behind in his maths which originally was one of his strongest subjects. It shows now the support he is receiving at school is having a huge impact on his grade right across all lessons. He hardly leaves his classes and has a new found want for learning. He still doesn’t go outside at lunch even though he has gained confidence, he still doesn’t feel safe to do that yet.

I thought about changing my meet and greet with him after school normally I have to wait in the main entrance for him, he likes to see me there before evening tutor, I did ask if he thought it might be a good idea for me to wait outside but he said that is where you have to wait. he still holds on to set routines even if i try to just back off a little. I have put the idea in his head now so it is a wait till his ready kind of thing.

Niki had her volunteering with the older student’s she really is enjoy this and is really working hard and takes it very seriously. this in turn is helping with her childcare, and health and social care courses she is doing at college. She is working hard and keeping up with her work, being back in mainstream schooling was one of those situations that could of not worked for her but again having the right support has made the transition easier she has even made quite a few friends there now.

Work is busy, this week i have the children as last week my nights got changed. I Can’t wait to work with them again have lots of fun planned and of course the elves have too come too little Tom searches for them with his eyes they make him smile Holly likes holding Emo, Toms favourite one is derrick as he has a wheel chair like him.

Work with Hayley has been excellent this week bit of a health check up week with blood tests, I took her for a treat at the hospital canteen after she loved that.

As to Emo the Emotional Elf Book the liquidators are dragging thier heels, still no promised copy of the minutes of the meeting as promised still no digital copy or in-design copy have arrived, or and they are not returning calls either, I am trying so hard to remain calm with them because it is my book, but also I don’t like feeling angry it is not good for my health, and tends to make my tummy flare up, still waiting for the ulcers to heal.

I am working on an author page on Face book so can connect to people other ways too that also keeps my family one separate just so I can safe guard my kids from any contact with people we dont know. It is why maybe I have been reluctant to add people on thier this way I can add people interested in my book and contacting me as an author. it is still a work in progress at the moment as you can see my life is pretty busy, thats why you often see my post going up late at night, the other reason is my kids have insomnia so I have to stay awake till they sleep, once my head hits the pillow I hear nothing.

That’s all the news for today.

Much love Faye xx