Emo the Emotional Elf

#emotions #elves #YouTube #digital #marketing #families #care #community #socialmedia

make this day great quote board
Photo by Alexas Fotos on Pexels.com

Hi everyone, Hope you are all doing ok, what a great photo by Alexas and fab Quote!!

Make this a great day, yep that is the way I wake up every morning before I even get up that first cat like stretch of the day where you get the night kinks out of your body and you feel your bones all crack into place that long deep sigh of satisfied sleep. Its a reach out try to find your glasses and phone and if your real lucky there isn’t a kid or maybe 2 right next to you. Goodness know’s how many Ninja chops i have had in the middle of the night from kids feet or arms over the years. I have found myself plenty of times on the floor with a miniscule corner of the cover while they lap it up in luxury of my big bed. That’s parenthood though nothing to grumble about you miss it when they are grown up.

My kids are snorers teeth grinders, and sleep talkers, sometimes sleep walking insomniacs too. Night terrors or nightmares swiftly followed by sleep paralysis those are the worse ones though the sleep paralysis they happen when they just don’t sleep, or are really anxious. yes we did give sleep meds and melatonin a try Jake even went for a sleep study once we had to keep him up all night when we arrived at the hospital and they gave him some meds to make him sleepy it had no affect but by then he was anxious about the ECG being done so that fight and flight was real high. We had to abandon the test, that day when we got back in the car after the first thing he did was go to sleep. You know they always remember what they see after these episodes its no wonder they don’t like going off to sleep. we have had the witch,the dancing lady, the dog like creature a boy with a wounded head, they tell me they are awake and try to call but nothing comes out and they can’t move. they have always had this it i think is a big part of their struggle sleep disorders. They fight going to sleep because this happens. Which is why you probably find me writing a lot at night long after I have said good night, other than propping my eyes open with match sticks mum or dad doesn’t sleep till they are settled, but mostly me though hubby kind of wakes up about 3am gets up for a bit and keeps his ear out for them. I have found him asleep a few times at the kitchen table.

Before I go on to do all the author bit and other stuff I will just let you know the main issues we live with as an autistic family,

  • Sleep issues , Insomnia,
  • Food issues selective eating ARFID
  • Sensory
  • Demand avoidance
  • Executive functioning
  • Emotion regulation
  • Anxiety
  • Tourettes syndrome
  • Restrictive and repetitive behavior
  • Hyper mobility
  • Stimms/ sometimes self harm
  • Migraines
  • social issues.
  • Depression / thoughts of suicide
  • self esteem -self confidence
  • Sometimes dangerous behaviours- and vunerable to abuse especially online.
  • Perfectionisum
  • selective speach despite extenstive vocabualry/ or non vebal
  • Teenage years and the dreaded hormones and teen moods yes major part that I think affects all kids but kids with all these other issues intensifi that 10 times. and for girls who also have PCSO undiagnosed for most of them teen years.
  • late diagnosis equals harder to get support.

So yes many comorbid things all rolled into one, You notice I didn’t put autistic or wether high functioning or low well that is not the point, the point is people jude people on many things oh it’s cause they are autistic or go home treat them like normal kids they are smart, I would love for the people that say that spend one day in these kids shoes experience it from thier perspective, Yet still they are put through more tests to prove thier disbilities and how it affects thier lives by a stystem that just doesnt want to support or beilive being verbal and having a good vocabulary will suddenly take away all of the above it doesn’t and won’t . Yes big tabboo subject but very true.

Many parents or indeviduals will tell you the same the fights the appeals that high stress levels of having to prove something someelse can’t see just by looking at you. What we don’t want is appologies because our kids are different how many times have you heard someone say I am sorry when you say your kids are Autistic, or any other disability. but also i will say many dont actually view beieng autistic as a disability it’self it’s the other issues that give struggles for the day to day management of life that can be disabling for some not all. It really depends on the indevidual and thier very own perspective of it.

But lets also look at things slightly differently too.

Very good at special interests, wont stop till they know everything about there favorite topic, a loyal friend sometimes intense but it comes from a place of care. Are direct not rude, which in turn means wether it comes across as rude or not they will tell you straight a lot of people find that a bad thing me I like directness hurt me with the truth not a lie. When they feel passionate about something they work hard. They are drawn to other people who are similar they see people who are struggling and want to help, Jake always gives motivational messages when his friends feel down. Niki is suportive friend although is often let down by others. but she is able to have more than one friendship now and has been in a loving relationship with tome for over 4 years now. Jake has been dating since the beginning of lockdown. They are so funny, smart, soaking up all information they can, I have a lot of trouble keeping up with their learning they just want to learn everything, in there heads is this vast amount of knowledge you never know what is going to come out their mouths and surprise you. Debating skills they debate everything and won’t ever change their mind once they make a choice on a subject you have to show them proof.

If you meet them you won’t forget them. They are my sunshine on a cloudy day.

Our Josh he is the best son and big brother too, smart, funny,independent strong, and oh so grown up now we are certainly going to miss him when he goes home Sunday but he has to go back for work, having him here has brought new life to us all we are rested parents and ready for the next few months a head and my return to work , and schools when it eventually happens.

We have loved playing board games together this Christmas and watching movies listening to music and spending time quietly, its been so different and sad without other family but at the same time the rushing to entertain and worrying wether it will be too much for the kids with lots of people smells and people in their space, has made it a restful one.

When your kids beat you at scrabble .

I did win Trivial Pursuit but don’t think it counts as it was the kid version,lol.

Now on to the book marketing and digital things my author page is growing on Facebook, Instagram is slowly getting there, Twitter is still a tough one and I am now working on my YouTube channel, some videos with Hayley already uploaded but much more to come from an awareness and community point of view and all things author, i Tried to have it in keeping with my style of writing only now venturing into verbally sharing as well. The link to my YouTube is below

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3eJ9KBaTLLmKn3C9kFfzPA

You know I think it is a big positive that this next step to videos is really taking it’s own course, I am thinking more business like for my book marketing. But i also sent some copies to friends which should arrive with them soon so looking forward to their opinion on the book, so its landing in America and should be landing in Serbia in the next few days. It already has been in Australia Aswell.

Any way my blog is almost finished for today ,Today is the 31st of December It Has just changed to last day of the Year, wishing you a safe at home new years Eve and a fantastic new year a head.

Its a goodnight from us all and a sleep peaceful with a smile from Emo. Good bye 2020 the year that the world stood still.

Paper back

Ebook

https://www.kobo.com/gb/en/ebook/emo-the-emotional-elf

Good night much love Faye xxx

Emo The Emotional Elf

#magicofchristmas #caring #family #love #elves #Christmas2020 #lockdown3

creativity magic paper text
Photo by Snapwire on Pexels.com

This photo and the words truly beautiful, Magic is something you make that I have to agree with there is Magic in making someone smile, Magic when you accomplish a goal you did not believe you would get to but some how you, hit it and think how did I do that. There is Magic when you create another life from this tiny speck to this little human. There is magic in miracles. Most of all there is Magic of the imagination.

While this time of year the hustle of the run up to Christmas like many years before but hugely different at the same time, some how the magic of Christmas spirit survived and we managed to create something different but equally beautiful despite a pandemic shops opening and closing and tiers changing. We are now Tier 4 here in my home town, and while out for a short walk I noticed the empty roads and car parks taking me back to march and that enthusiasm for a much easier and quieter life of lockdown, for me the first lockdown was perfect, it made doing my job and being a parent so much easier, I could move about supporting others without their being much risk, because everywhere was quite and people mostly followed the rules and queuing systems and social distance, second lock down was the same. I guess now we are headed into the third lockdown and new faster spreading variant of Covid, it makes me wonder if the pressure is really beginning to takes its toll on people, that desperation to see loved ones and that hope of spending Christmas with at least some of your family caused this panic that put more lives at risk of it.

Looking at the rush that happened for those exiting London before that tier 4 lockdown happened, this year has also been tough for so many families financially. I didn’t get payed till the day I picked up my son. and just after we got him home the news that we may also be going into tier 4 meant I had to go get some prezzies, this year a cash budget, no Credit cards no credit at all , I had a small budget to spend and stuck to it. thankfully my family gave me a little help this year, My oldest son also helped out. the look on Jakes face when josh Gave him his guitar.

This Christmas although quite has been a favorite of mine my kids all here together, the thoughts of not seeing our Josh for so long almost to much to bear,Our home has been so happy, the kids so happy, and me I can say its going to give me the boost I need for when he returns home again and having a couple of weeks to just get my energy levels back tip top for work again is just what I need right now.

So here is our magic of Christmas eve and Christmas day

The night before Christmas eve was letter Writing and collecting time Emo got out the computer typed away personalised notes for the children, i helped tie them with silver ribbon and added a chocolate coin for the magic touch. The fairies droppoed letters too as well as a letter from Mickey and Minni House for Hayley.

Someone Has to be the boss of the elves while Santa is busy.

Christmas Eve

Emo was checking in with Santa through the Snow globe Making sure he had enough help.

It started off with Spending time together Hubby was preparing some of the food making the Gammon, Lamb and cranberry sause music was playing in the background the kids playing music and watching movies or YouTube Videos. Niki talking to her Tom. I had the present drop to do to Hayley and the other kids I work with, flying visits not hugging was hard though.

Hayley House first she had a zoom Christmas Carol service so took my computer over to set it up for her while I did the present run. Next it was dropping pressies off to my brother before going to the kids house.

Holly helped put the Letters in the tree and the gifts under it, collected the pressies to go back to dad and Hayley’s. By the time I finished the zoom had finished so packed it up to go back to mine with a boot full off pressies for my family from everyone.

Christmas eve Evening was a flurry of excitement dinner , Games and them christmas eve boxes and gifts of Pj’s sweets and popcorn ready for movies, it was a funny moment that paper was ripped off before i even said to wait. LOL

Niki put the food out for santa the reindeers and elves and hung the stockings, and then Niki and Jake went to thier rooms. Our big Elf Josh helped get everything set up and Santa finally dropped off the Pressies at 3am when the kids finaly went to sleep.

We had an Elf army help, our Elves always help mum and dad around the house with chores.

Christmas eve Gifts. The biggest gift the gift of smiles and laughter

Does matter how old they are I never want them to lose that moment of happiness.

Christmas day

Christmas Day oh it wasnt my kids that woke me up at 7.30 but my hubby come get your coffee before they wake up. at least they all didn’t jump on my bed or me this year i think i would of been crushed they not little anymore. My hubby even managed to prepare the Turkey before they got up this year.

I was minding my own buisness waking up and having my first coffee of the day. My hubby the Joker always chases me or trys to get me with Turkey insides something I have avoided touching since we met its slimy and gross.

Just ewwww, but then maybe if I wasn’t on my phone I would have seen it coming at me. lol you have to excuse us we are a little wierd sometimes.

We actually woke the kids up this year it got to 8.30 and they were still all sleeping , I was just to excited to wait any longer. I am a big kid really especially on special occations I like giving to them you probally have seen that if you have been reading my blog a while.

Stocking time and sleepy young adults

Not the usual stocking filler’s this year so Santa had to improvise due to some of the factories shutting down due to lockdown rules. but still thier was enough to fill them. Thanks Santa.

Christmas Breakfast we just had ceral and toast this year as hubby was busy cooking

After stockings it is always Breakfast before opening the family pressies. the kids have to line up in hight order and form a queue its part of our christmas tradition.

As you can see by the smile on Niki’s face it is the one time she don’t mind her brothers are taller then her.

The letter from Santa

Pressie opening, a few surprises one being an accidental split lip over excitement pour Josh got bopped in the mouth by Jake we try not to make a fuse when accidents happen or it can really derail the day still no harm done.

They had a few gifts each and some join Board games we are loving having nights where we sit together and play games, now thier older and we got through that stressful age of the losey moods its quite safe to play games together without total meltdowns.

My favorite gift to give this year was to my hubby the kids helped and it was a hard one to choose and it wasn’t about spending lots of money it was about it being something meaningful to him personally as you know when i met my Hubby he was a Dj and my kids have grown up around all kinds of music, it plays a huge and important part of our lives carries us through difficult days, brings joys, emotiona helpes with anxiety, and is truly theraputic, you can see it in the way our kids are very muscial, its alos thier go to place for self calming. I choose a canvas picture and the kids got new frames to put some of the photos and signed items my hubby got when he used to work and introduse these acts during him early musical years as a DJ.

Its going to be a great addition to our walls and just bring a little bit of the past to life again.

I got some lovely gifts too .

Josh got me an Emo pop figure my first one the kids all have quite a collection of them now, a beautiful buisnessy outfit some candles and Niki brought me a new kettle our old one was on it’s last legs .

But my other favorite moment was when Josh gave our Jake his Guitar, it wasnt wrapped and when he came home Josh let him play it to see how he would get on with it kind of try see if he liked how it felt.

He going to learn it more before he plays, going to be great watvhing him advance with it he has already taugh himself to play the Keyboard. Josh was about Jakes age when we gave him his first guitar he taught himself to play too.

We Caputured as much as we could this year to share with our family and friends who couldnt be with us, and to show what ever life throws our way we all have the ability to work through it and find another way to make things special it doesn’t have to be lavish it has to come from the heart.

We got dinner cooked earlier this year because I had to drop some over for Hayley and Dad just because we could spend it together as usual we wanted them to feel like they do here. I dropped it off to them before returning home to eat with my family.

Arriving home I sent hubby for a power nap while i set the table and prepared the starters. This year three differnt types me and Niki had Tomato soup, Josh and hubby had Salmon on a bed of spinach tomatos and onion drizzeled with lemon and olive oil and lightly peppered. And Jake our selective Eater had Jacob’s Crackers it’s a little bit of a joke in our family because when he was little grandad had some and when Jake saw his name he got upset because he thought it was his present. Dinner was lovely

Was a great feast, Jake doesnt eat any of it but instead of plain pasta he would normally eat we graduated to steak and chips for him so the very first year of a proper dinner for Jake on christmas Day maybe one day he will eat a whole chrismas dinner i won’t give up trying to introduce him to new foods .

You know what happened to my family after dinner FOOD COMA they all fell asleep till about lunch time today.

Any way to finish off today blog wishing you all had the best chrismas given the circumstances and the new year that keeps you healthy and safe and is a much better year than 2020.

This is my sum up of the year from my perspective it has given more than it has taken its brought a closeness that was taken away from the busyness of life, it has thrown us in the deep end of change wether we are good with change or not, plans have been changed and rearranged many times, but we are her to live another day we may be held back from lots at the moment we may have to take more hits before things improve but we are All doing the very best we can and thats ok . For me i am an over preparer i love the routines and knowing what is going to happen and when it causes anxiety other wise but i have learnt to just relax what will be will be wether i stress or relax better just enjoy every moment.

This is an insite into Hayley’s and dads christmas day got to say they are the best photos by far, my Dad with Elf ears.

Spreading the Elf joy as I go along the kids loved the photo’s

Have a beautiful evening much Love Faye xxx

Emo The Emotional Elf

Hope you have a great start to Christmas week.

I am blessed and thankful all my kids are here, our Josh returned yesterday and we are once again our own little family unit.

I haven’t seen Josh since July due to work and trying to make sure we all stay safe during this pandemic, but now I can truly relax for the first time in months.

You know having a grown up child that doesn’t live with us anymore is harder than you know, Josh just lifts all of us up, The sounds of him playing instruments his little smile and him stretched out on the sofa with a sibling each side. Problems seem so far away. Nothing else matters but this moment, They are the thing that makes my eyes light up the smile on my face, the hope in my heart, and for once it isn’t about diagnosis or what they have or don’t have it is purely them and thier beautiful personalities , Thier eagerness to teach each other , Thier respect for each other they unconditional love and acceptance they have.

I have done something so right in my life brought up these beautiful little human beings.

That’s all I want to say right at this moment , I have peace in my soul and a whole heap of love in my heart today. ❤️😁🎄

I will get back to blogging soon this time of year rounding up work last week, and focusing on my own kids.

But I would also like to thank my family for all the help they have given me this year especially the last couple of weeks so I can make this time special. For the money towards food , for the parts for my car, and all the little bits.

I couldn’t of doñe it with our your support and care. 😁❤️

Much Love Faye xxx

you got this lighted signage

Emo The Emotional Elf

#emotions #photography #perspective #family

Hi all how are you today, this weeks been a little tougher then usual just a lot going on sometimes your impacted more then you let on. I had high hopes for this year, maybe most of us did and things we set out to achieve didn’t quite happen the way you expected, situations coming up, I do plan for the year to end as good as it started though just maybe in a different kind of way. Even as I sit here writing I am full of confused thoughts. Not much i can do about that just focus on something else.

Today is my mums Birthday, It’s hard not spending it with her.

My beautiful sweet caring mother, always there if I need to chat, she is the most strongest intelligent and kind giving women I know, she brought me up well and despite me being handful when I was young I turned out quite good in the end. she passed a lot of mother daughter skills on to me. Happy Birthday to you my beautiful mum, I can say this because she always reads my blog bit like when I was younger and she used to look in my dairy. I think the teenage me didn’t like it I actually left a message once ( if you think I am going to write things in here you have another thing coming) or something along those lines maybe not quite so polite.

but now I am glad she does read what I write because it makes me feel closer to her when we are not together.

Photography – different eye’s different perspectives

Today I want to share some photo’s Niko and the kids took when they went for some exercise the other day, they got distracted by the view.

Jake’s photos

I love the way he has captured the view of our local park not far from our home. the top one sunset the orange glow, the silhouette of the trees standout in the foreground of the foggy evening, Left-how beautiful it would be to just lay on the ground looking up at the sky and seeing the clouds slowly move and wonder about traveling beyond the clouds and out of our atmosphere in to space and beyond seeing the world slowly become smaller as it disappears from sight to a tiny speck what the astronaut’s must see on their way up and out the training they go through for just that possibility i bet the world was never the same for them again when they returned to see the beauty of what is out there with your own eyes. Middle- the winter view of a tree bare of most of its leaves tinged with droplets of rain the windy slowly blowing through what remains on there. The last picture the beginnings of night the end of day, the cold air and misty hue of the fog as it slowly creeps across the fields giving it a almost haunting looking view. the empty fields usually filled with kids , families dog walkers and cricket matches empty of population due to people staying home, Covid and lock down really does make you appreciate what is all around you.

Niki’s View

Niki’s has a slight more spooky look plus she captured her dad

Niko’s view

All very different photo’s of the same place I love this when they share there photo’s and get creative.

To finish off tonights blog just my favorite childhood game , I loved playing it with Jake today.

Battleships I love it

Good night, sleep well.

Much Love Faye xxx