Emo the Emotional Elf

#author #emotions #anxiety #autism #mentalhealth #grief #family

Hi all how are you,?


I had a beautiful day at work yesterday with Hayley, first sorting her Glasses which got broke when she had her fall, followed by helping her shop for presents for her boyfriend Freddie.
She did some amazing copy writing yesterday and although she can’t read or write this is something she can do.
We had lunch and a visit with a camel , she enjoys these novelty selfie stands in our local mall and loves getting photos for her happy memory book, it is so very important to have these happy memories she can look at.
The loss of family members and friend affects her alot even if she can’t show it in a way someone without her learning difficulties can.The truth is know one copes with grief In exactly the same way, Grief causes so many feelings , guilt , anger, hurt, and pain in between that you have moments where you laugh, then you back in the cycle of feelings again, especially anger and guilt. Sometimes it draws families closer and other times small issues that were there and unresolved before become the focus.
That leads to pushing those you love an care for away.
My family is no different in this in fact sometimes they are the worst for it. But there is always a time and a place to deal with them issues not when your feeling raw, not before you had a chance to say goodbye to your loved one. Those feelings pushed aside till your in a better stronger place to deal with them. Even though I give the impression of being a strong woman who can cope with everything even I have a limit😢
I say this because of my families situation at the moment but also a for a really lovely friend who said goodbye to Thier beautiful baby girl today such sad news to here I have been sharing our family with them as they have shared Thiers with us. She was so beautiful. Gone before she had a chance to live they had such a journey with her in such a short time.
Heaven has another angle👼it made me feel so sad for them I know everything they are feeling having been Thier myself.
Enough about that though I am focusing on as much positive things  as I can.
Hayley and me were up to mischief planing an extra birthday surprise for Freddie a cake her eyes lit up like a kid I’m a candy store when we went to the cake shop Her mind is saying forget the diet I wan a slice of this , it’s written all over her face❤️

One day at a time , tomorrow things maybe different when people have slept on it, one thing I do no it isn’t heathy to have this added stress of arguments.

I can change many things but sometimes even I cannot muster a miracle, of how others act to each other.
I love all my family so very much it is hard not to bang Thier heads together. I have a slight confession when I was a kid and I think it was my brother and cousin arguing , I did do that bang Thier heads together but I was only little at the time . I hate arguements I would much rather they give each other space till they can talk calmly with each other.

I like writing it out, it helps me to not get to stressed myself.

Sorry it’s a bit of a vent post tonight.

Have a good night

Much love Faye xxx

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Emo the Emotional Elf #author #emotions #family #anxiety #autism #memories #mentalhealth

Hi all how are you?

We have had a busy couple of days here, yesterday Jake had the cooking bug, wanting to make donuts and roast, was this the day he actually would eat what he cooked donuts yes !! chips yes!! chicken a big no thier and the salad well he ate green grapes , spinach and cress, see the theme there still yellow and green foods mostly. He is really beginning to understand on his own terms that his body is going to need to eat different things soon he want’s to be able to but still just cant try. It isn’t something will will give up hope on this changing one day. Really it has been a massive part of him for so long now his mindset around foods and trying them is slowly changing. this Is why I am glad he took up health and catering at school. Exposure to food scents and textures with his sense of smell and touch, we are still getting every now and then another food in thier, but this has been going on for over twelve years now with food for him, it has given him many invisible issues.

Here he is making them with supervision, and burn spray at the ready we only needed it once when he twitched and a bit of oil splashed on his thumb.

He researched the recipe himself picked a time 10 am to do it, washed his hands and got on with it. He made sure he followed the timings, for letting the dough sit.

He was very proud of them i got to say he did eat a couple but not as much as i did they were scrumptious, he gave a couple to his dad and Niki always looking for thier response, It makes him happy that they try his food.

An Empty plate

He had a small walk to shop with Niki , before coming back to prepare evening meal, he didn’t touch chicken i had to do that part for him but he made the chips, we picked some of the Salad’s we grew in the garden to go with it.

With a little help he did a great job.

Yesterday i also popped over to see my aunty , she had sorted a few childhood memories for us too have to remember our Nan and Grandad by also though I wanted to see how she was doing since my uncle passed, the brother and sister sharing my grandparents home after they passed, it is hard knowing the house has to go so many generations of our family and memories we shared together there.

Very happy memories for me, I think sometimes when you lose someone you are drawn back to that childlike look at the world , that one place you felt like yourself exceped for who you were ,nutures encouraged and loved unconditionally.

My memories of those days leave a warm feeling in my soul. when i got my first job after leaving school at sixteen was getting my first full time job in the Littlewood’s cafe where my Grandfather used to take us on a weekend. one of his favorite places to go after retiring. he used to sneak donuts and sausage rolls and say don’t tell your Nan she always knew as Hayley never could keep a secret.

Many times he treated us to a new out fit, my cousin had a red skirt and top and I had the same outfit in a pastle green. when I got my first wages in them days a months wages was £390. i would give my mum and dad £150 for my part of the bills and food, have money to get me through the month and I brought my Nan and Grandad a Bonzi tree made of fine China. it has sat in the same place in thier house now for about 24 years until yesterday now it has pride of place at my home, a connection between me and them, and the values they taught me. I am family orientated and very sentimental type of woman.

My pickles and Nanu were big home growers my grandad on the allotments and my Nan and her flowers. pickles gave us all nicknamed mine was Faye fatty boom boom maybe because I was a little chubby growing up it was kind of cute.

Then thier is a memory for Hayley, My Nan And Grandad had a big soft spot for her, she was thier special Grandchild because she is who she is. her memory was going on holiday to Lourdes and bring back Holy water

The little Brown container is a memory for Our Josh as well as a children’s book jungle book when my Nanu had cancer she was in her bed by the window in the dining room she would read it to him , it is one of the memories he has of her he was only about 2 -3 at the time of her passing. sometimes a long time after she passed he kept saying at random times he could smell her in different rooms , Like she was thier

The little pot is her favorite scent roses it still there even now.

I was feeling in a great play full mood last night, when I picked Niki up i found this new wall plaque in the garage it made me laugh i just had to wait for the right moment to put it to good use .

My Hubby is a bit of a joker , years of being a DJ always one to freely post the wife jokes, the thing is i was a sister before a wife I learnt to patiently wait till they least expect it and kind play them at thier own game. it could be the same day or even months later but jokes are best given when they cause are caught off gaurd.

See what I mean , the best moment Jake was trying so hard to be quite when he took the photo but he was laughing so much, humor is great for stress relief.

Today was MOT day to say i was hoping it would pass would be an understatement we don’t have that much luck on the car front, i dropped it off at the garage and rather then walking all the way home and back again I thought I would have a quick look around the shops while I wait for the hour. Maybe not such a good idea after all I impulse brought a new dress

I got to say it was worth it I love it , I love the Greek key design with that hint of Red my favorite colour. The good news is the car passed with no advisories so good for at least another year before i need to think about investing in a new one. I Spent the afternoon taking Niki and Jake for a walk round town.

I will leave you with another favorite memory of mine before saying good night.

Me and my oldest son Josh.

Good night all much love Faye xxx

Emo the Emotional Elf #author #booksigning #elves #emotions #anxiety #autism #mentalhealth

Hi all how has your weekend been for you?

Our one has been amazing, very busy but amazing.

Friday was a night shift for me so just before I got all the things ready for Saturday’s book event. This time I thought I would take Jake with me to help out plus give him a Tec free day, fresh air and mum and Jake time.

Night Shift

The night shift was not without a couple of melt downs from little Holly she wasn’t her usual bubbly self , a little over tired I think, we were working on her angry feelings i did say to her it is ok to be angry but not ok to kick shout or bang on other peoples doors, especially glass ones.

Usually with kids when thier angry it is easy to get drawn into to meltdowns, an then every bit of common sense goes out the window, you can’t win in these situations by trying to get them to stop just doesn’t work much on any kid, i should know having been through many of autistic melt downs with my kids. she didn’t get what she wanted so sat on chair making a little grunting noise every now and then. she asked if she could talk my reply we can talk about it when you have time to calm down, and your not feeling so angry. I gave her five minutes to think things through. She then got changed really calmly and settled for sleep, after a little chat about why she was feeling angry. we were running a little behind in the morning a small melt down from holly because I asked her to carry her blanket back upstairs, before breakfast, a little bit of a standoff because she didn’t want too wasn’t pleased I turned tv off till she did. she was still a little grumpy when her mum and dad came too pick her up. Think it was just over tiredness. normally she is real fun to be with, and very helpful. Ellie was well behaved very helpful behavior, so was little Tom he slept really well. was in a great mood.

When I got back too mine after work my hubby already had Jake up dressed and ready to go, and helped me load the car up. Jake was as excited I was we arrived a little early by about fifteen minutes so was great to be able to find a parking space for the day, Jake helped carry everything and set up. He was even good at reading and following instruction manual didn’t take us to long to have it up and all set up.

It was a wonderful event but maybe a little hot, and people went to beach or something, there was raffles , bouncy castles, stalls, food, Spiderman who jumped over a fence in front of some kids who thought it was cool and gave him a high five. A park which Jake made the most of when he needed a bit of space to move and not be near music, he was awesome talking to people it was nice how we had some feed back that he was a lovely polite boy.

The event was a community event, so lots of information for families seeking , advice on services, thier was chair Zumba for all abilities which I thought was fab, and they really gave it a go. Very good exercise for those with a physical disability that rely on chairs and aids, maybe a great thing to have in doctors surgeries, that can help people keep active. the added bonus of positive sing along music adding to it.

The instructor was very enthusiastic and encouraging , they did about 20 minutes of it. Although I didn’t get to see it their was a dog show, a fabulous burger stand hit the spot when hunger set in for me, Jake brought his own lunch, but did try a new sweet.

Not sure he liked it but he finished it. Thier was a stunning belly dancer who really tried to get other’s up and dancing but I think they preferred to watch.

Was a good event, no sales this time but that is how it goes sometimes.

Now I would like too say a huge thanks to the fire service who not only work very hard but a lot of these events they bring thier fire engine along to show the kids, let them sit inside. A real important part of community and sharing some important facts on keeping safe.

They even let Jake and Emo check out the fire engine. on Emo is do mischievous.

Fire safety and information is an important thing for everyone to learn.

Not always easy for those with sensory issues the noise of alarms but still hugely important for those who support kids with sensory issues and anxiety and autism to be aware of and get them to a place of safety, my kids have had issues in the passed with fire drills.

Packing up didn’t take too long and as it was still early we thought we would stop off at Brighton beach for some yummy fresh donuts that Jake likes and a walk on the beach Only took ten minutes to get there but unfortunately for us we couldn’t find any parking close by, Jake was a little tired for walking too far, so we had to leave with only a look from the car window. What we did see they was a lot of bikers must have been an annual get together. When we got home Nik had our dinner ready the next thing I know is it is morning the fresh air did us good we slept really well.

Sunday drive, music playing, peace on roads, hardly any traffic.

Today a beautiful sunny day right from when I woke up, the sun was shinning. today was the day i picked Niki up from her camping holiday in Kent.

Really missed her when she was gone

She had an awesome time, and although i got to listen to my favorite tunes on the way up thier it was soon back too having , my radio taken over by this little miss. we had a good chat and one stop off on the way home. time for her to adjust to being without Tom before she got home, she brought us some new fridge magnets home from some of the places she went to that sells them, and a new bobble head pop figure for Jake, they have been talking and playing games together this afternoon. think that Jake is glad his sister is home.

AS you can see she enjoyed her last day out yesterday at the beach, she also was making her mixed up teddies while she was away sowing them herself.

My Niki has a like for things that are different.

The rest of the day we have just been chilling so beautiful weekend for us/

Goodnight much love Faye xx

Emo The Emotional Elf #author #emotions #book #socialskills #Selfhelp #autism #anxiety #mentalhealth

HI everyone, how has you week gone for you? good? Challenging? Are you working the weekend ? or in big need of the time off with your family ?

This week has been quite and busy for me at the same time , lots going on as always, between work the book and family I always am on the go. A bit like this mother’s a yo-yo or taxi in and out all the time here there and everywhere. I must admit though I like being busy just as much as I like to rest. So much to talk about and share.

NIki

I have been in contact with our Niki every day I have missed her a lot while she has been away, but also enjoyed that time with my hubby and Jake. I love that she has been sharing her holiday with us through Photo’s things she has brought and things she has done.

Face timing , one of the internet’s great bonus we do it a lot when she is out and about . I mean she even uses it when she is at home and she wants me to bring her something

Some lovely shots she sent

She also shared some of her new creations she has been making and had me take photo’s of her previous ones. she likes creating little characters. Unusual ones, Unique ones

She had a delivery of toy eyes while she was away and wanted me to take pictures and send them, I asked her to give me five minutes about a minute passed and she was messaging again.

She first sent me this gif
Followed by this till I sent her pictures of her delivery of Eyes

She can be a little impatient sometimes, but I love her humor, So it was also Exam result week, as she was away she thought she would wait till she got back and let them send her results through, but on exam day she changed her mind and wanted me to pick them up for her, she messaged at just after 8 in the morning the suspense of whether she passed or not just to much.

I am so very pleased too say she not only passed but exceeded what she needed to get so excellent for her all her hard work to catch up and get this maths exam done payed off, she has now secured that place on second level for child development course and met all conditions that were required for her to move on to the next stage. I am picking her up from the holiday camp on Sunday morning and she will say good bye’s to her Tom and his family who will be returning back to Holland. Such a lovely family, glad that Niki has been taken into thier lives as much as we have taken Tom to ours.

Hayley

Wednesday was a work day with Hayley it started with a return visit to a&e because of the fall she had on the Sunday Although her eye was still very bruised from the fall the swelling was down , but she had a new swelling on her lower Jaw so we choose to get it checked out, the doctor was fantastic with her again , checked her over and said it was a wait and watch for a couple of days and that he didn’t think she would need an X-ray thankfully it has gone right down today and the bruising is slowly disappearing.

Still smiling despite her face

She returned to day center yesterday and probably told all her friends all about it she wasn’t to happy to miss her swimming lesson today but her Knee is still a little grazed.

Also on Wednesday i had to pop and pick Holly up from her football practice as her mum was held up at an appointment getting Tommy’s wheelchair adjustments made, it was great to see her get a reward and medal for good work, they said she has really improved and behaved very well.

When I dropped her home to her mum even the Mika dog wanted a selfie

Jake

Jake has read all his Anime books we Brought the other day, and has 2 more books on the go Stephen Hawkins and I can’t remember the other one at the moment but it’s a detective book, he is enjoying his reading, and speaking and supporting his friend online who is having some family issues at the moment, I am glad Jake talks so openly about his online friends, so very important at this age to have very open discussions about online friends.

We also had to get school uniforms they are about 30 minutes drive to the shop , not something I get online line because of the fit , he is slim with long limbs. Length of arms feel of clothes make all the difference to whether he will have issues wearing them or not. Clothes being one of the biggest sensory issues for him as much as food. Shoe’s now this is a challenge he always has grippers but now he is a size 9 adults getting them in that size is becoming harder. We went for lace’s fine motor skills still a little issue but hopefully he will learn before he returns to school to tie laces we have been practicing.


Even Dad Joined in the lesson

Emo The Emotional Elf

Tomorrow Emo his brother’s Derrick and Fredrick, will be joining me and Jake at the at Hangleton park’s summer festival where I have a stall to share my book with families of Brighton and Hove, between 12 and 4. I love going to event’s and sharing our book and story, but also I love when the kids join in it gets them out in the fresh air helps with thier social skills and anxiety, and really gives them a taste of what happen’s for other families as well as ours so they understand thier are people who do understand them and want to include them.

That’s all for today I look forward to telling you all about the event tomorrow evening that’s if I am not to tired of course tonight I am on the night shift all is quite here. they have been good again tonight although we had one melt down for Holly I gave her space to calm down then had a chat with her.

Good night all speak soon

Much love Faye xx