Emo The Emotional Elf

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Hi everyone been a while it has been a lot to juggle here lately, I keep sitting down to write and suddenly get tired eyes building all these platforms up takes a lot of time I don’t want to half heartedly do it I like to engage with other families and people this third round of lockdown’s has been pretty tough for many people and letting others no there is always other there who get how tough it is helps build communities. Safe spaces to talk, I am personally a pretty open person so share my families journey. I find it helps me to personally cope on harder days just to write and let it all flow out I get a sense of relief sometimes when I am finished writing a blog.

be brilliant neon light — Photo by Timothy Paule II on Pexels.com

I think everyone is capable of brilliant moments, sometime your on fire kind of brilliant, sometimes slow burning and sometimes you simmer in the background. You find your moment you be brave and go for it.

That’s what we are doing with You Tube videos it is going to take a while for the awkwardness to go but we hit the ground running. The thing is it is about confidence building and trying new things learning new ways to bring your work out into the world. I will never try to be something I am not I want to keep it simple and just share my work with Hayley and my work as an author. Maybe one Niki and Jake will join in but for now they have enough on thier plate with thier studies, and other things.

I am hoping that one day my kids will find thier voice to share thier journey through diagnosis how its affected them how it impacts thier lives in thier own words that one day the world sees it differently and is a more accepting place. that they learn to be over the truama’s of the past they look back and see just how far they have traveled despite diagnosis. As a family we have our own way of coping when they feel depressed or thier anxiety is high, Why because we have had to lack of mental health support since there many diagnosis is a big thing, continuing issues with getting others to understand there individual needs.

We are not really a family that asks for help often the reality is that when we do it is always a long and complicated nightmare where we have to prove the diagnosis and the things they struggle with multiple times to many different people because by the time you go through a process the person you begin to trust moves on or no longer works there, the paperwork always the same that never arrives (apparently) Until you pay for a signed delivery of letters at an expense almost £7 pound per letter of the phone calls you make forgotten the minute you get off the phone,

When your hubby is annoying and sticks the biggest snow ball down the back of your top, and a few of my favorite clips

As you can see we are slowly building the channel now. I prefer doing them with others around you have people to bounce off I try to look at it like we are just having a conversation then nerves don’t get the better of me.

We are on a tight budget at the moment we have three laptops that need repairs Nikis needs a new screen Jakes needs a new battery, and mine can wait to be fixed till after theres has been done I can just manage with it like it is for now. Niki has one on lone from school till we can either fix hers or replace it.

I guess we always viewed tec as a luxuary before covid hit and work from home and home schooling now it is a nessessity, my kids don’t cope with other people touching there things, especially thier places they go to relieve thier anxiety. Thier laptops have been an aid for them help them with communication skills building social skills and so much more. It’s there freedom and independance.

Mine I run all the kids appointments my work and study and my writing from mine.

My author page on Facebook has been building slowly the social media also is going great met some awsome uplifting people.

We just had Jakes 16th Birthday was a lovely day his face was a picture, the night before one of the developers of a game he was on gave him a birthday shout out he had over 400 messages for people on there for him it was the most special thing. he was so happy when he got them.

He got so grown up now, and looking more GreekI love his beautiful eyes.

Niki gave me a hand to decorate the night before I did the cake a few days before and had his pressies wrapped.

The morning of his birthday we got up before online schooling started to open presents . his big brother had already sent his presnts through and i picked up the pressies from his nan and grandad and Hayley.

last week was my few days off this week i am on double then have next week a few days off again. in between online schooling and spending time with the kids I had my first covid Jab through my work the day before Jakes birthday it was well run and after a discution with the doctor first due to my allegies to penicillin and other ciilin meds we agreed it was safe to go ahead with it.

The morning of Jakes birthday I was feeling pretty rough headache sleepy sensitive skin and light sensitivity. I p[layed down how i was feeling werent going to ruin his birthday.

Do you know many 16 year olds who want a brief case, buisness clothes and a podcast microphone for his gaming thats what we got him, Niki got him some pop figure 2 small limited edition ones and one giant pop figure. Josh got his waffle Iron and monkey mask. his nan and grandad and hayley got him amazon cards. and his uncle some money. I think by far this is his favorite birthday by far. Not to many people or to much fuss. I dont think it would have been possible without my families help to pull it off.

Jake and Niki had school stuff to do online and to be honest I felt so rough I slept on and off for the day as was working friday night. I had little tom and his dad and sisters over for 2 hours before dropping little tom and Ellie home. Holly stayed the night.

we all played games together Niki and Jake were talking to thier freinds online while i did the shift with Tommy. all thought they did come down for a socially distanced happy birthday and piece of birthday cake .

Holly was as giggly as ever she is such fun to be around she had home made waffles before she went home.

Goofing around before we left,she also watched me put air in my tyres, i was telling her every girl should also no how to do that she even had a little go on the foot pump.

The rest of weekend was playing games with the Jake. Niki needed to get out of the house so we went to get a new lightbulb for her room it is one of them mood colour changing lights and she has slept a little better since we gave it a try.

oh and popping balloons that is always the best bit after.

Sunday was a big cook day roast the table layed nicley and my hubby’s favorite cake lemon.

I love setting the table all pretty playing music while I bake in the kitchen.

The headache and side affects went by saturday evening which was great I felt so much better and Sunday was back to the energetic person I normally am. I am due for second dose in April. My dads had his first shot now and is waiting to hear about his second shot we both had the astra zenica one. My mum who i was most worried about having it had the pfizer one on friday she felt a little sluggesh to but is over that now as well. so that is three of us with our first dose done. I am thinking Hayley will get hers soon too maybe we will here by her annual health check up. she was supposed to have it the other day but it was counceled on the morning because the nurse it was booked in with doesnt do learning disabled health checks its now been moved till the end of Febuary.

Hayley is back with us from Monday just gone till sunday morning. we have had fun this week so far.