#EmoTheEmotionalElf #book #Christmas #Birthday #emotions #Autism #anxiety #mentalhealth #selfhelp #family #awareness #elves
HI everyone , well follow up from earlier post i got that doctors appointment done now, thank goodness.
Awkward subject before the happy stuff
Don’t worry men you can skip the first part of this blog if you feel uncomfortable the best bits will be lower keep reading
Sometimes I think having the ability to write whether its a book a poem an article or any form of writing really you have the ability to bring about change to more sensitive subjects especially when you work as a carer.
Awareness comes in many forms, sometimes we look at celebrities in the spot light and when something happens to them that is relatable to us it can drive us to take action., For example here in the uk we had the Jade Goodie affect larger then life character who’s life was cut short by cervical cancer leaving behind her beautiful children , how many women and young girls went for that smear test after that, then once or twice a year when her name comes up again it gets you thinking when was my last one.
I call it mr shark , intimidating, awkward, makes you blush he gets all up in your business , just ewww looking every where but a the highly professional person performing it, who distracts you with small talk, god I could get out of the room quick enough today. the fact is mr shark has probably saved many lives of women and been the cause of early detection and treatment for many women. Sorry to any men reading this sensitive subject but one day your wife daughter mother sister or friend just may need your support and encouragement to get this done.
Just as they support you to take good care of yourselves and encourage you to also have checks like prostate, none of us go through life with out these checks super important and vital. now the 4-6 weeks wait for results.
Yes it is ok to get comfortable talking about uncomfortable subjects the more talk and awareness the less people have to hide the things we all go through. it causes more worry and stress not talking then just opening up.
I mean how many women or men regularly check themselves for lumps and then spend more time worrying then they do just getting it checked out. It is better to get the check and it be nothing then wait and it turns out to be something bad.
Cancer has had an impact on my family we loss our grandmother to it and other family members have had cancer scares myself included. Thank goodness i had a friend who didn’t get all put off by my oversharing on this subject, you know people really surprise you an angel can come from a place you least expect it. I am so blessed they were just their to talk too. I felt empowered to get it done. in my house we do talk about these things with the kids to. Not just the girls my sons accept that I talk openly about it. They have a mother and a sister so are in tune with our emotional fluctuations. They come baring gifts of chocolate hugs and sometime hot water bottles. Their future wives maybe thankful for my openness with them on this subject and it may even save them from having their heads bit off due to mood swings.
WE DON’T HAVE TO WAIT FOR SOMEONE IN THE PUBLIC EYE TO MOTIVATE US TO DO THEM TESTS WE CAN DO IT NOW FOR OURSELVES AND EVERY TIME WE GET THAT REMINDER DON’T PUT IT OFF OR USE EXCUSES TO AVOID> JUST DO IT!!!!!!
Change of subject yeloow happy colour
Week 2 back at school going good , already have the runny noses and their seems to be a lack of masks when you see all the kids going in and coming out of school, our Jake who is autistic has been talking a lot about what he would change about how things about how the new covid system runs at school, he told me he wants to do a social distance survey to find out what all of the students think works or doesn’t work about the new bubbles.
One thing he mentioned was that he had to cross three other year bubbles to get to an area which was theirs at break time. If he had his way I think there would be different colour tape showing exactly where each bubble could walk. the real funny thing is at the doctors this afternoon they had this red and blue tape route to follow so maybe he has the same logical thinking as who ever designed that at the doctors. He said those guys at the doctors really get it and are very smart. You know an autistic person is going to see things in a much more practical way then a neurotypical person, its one of the most amazing things about being autistic.
I spoke to someone very recently who asked me why I didn’t talk in more detail about being autistic and really made me question it and how i write my blog, Firstly I just have been sharing our family and some of the issues we encounter, Secondly I am not autistic that I know of I definitely am not an expert on the subject of autism, I don’t want to speak for other autistic people and their families I let them do that for themselves without judgement of wether its right or wrong I want people to have the self confidence to share their own perspectives. all the subjects I talk about are just this mothers perspective. I am happy to share others posts books blogs but only if they are happy with me to do that i hope they feel confident enough to ask me to share.
I can’t write like other people I can only write like me, if I tried to do that I think it would be wrong I would lose myself again and that I don’t want to happen. I am happy just being me and doing it my own little way will it have an impact on someone I do hope so. I am a mother who is all about support services reaching families and empowering them. I am about being open to another persons point of view even if mine is vastly different I can still be kind and caring.
DAD’S 70th Birthday Covid style
The weather was so lovely we had it out side probably best because of Jakes sniffles, don’t worry he kept his distant from Grandad and wore a mask inside when grandad first arrived, my dad is so funny he turned up thermometer in hand and took all our temps before he would come in , we already did a drive by temp check with Jake that morning because after discussing it with the school we decided to not send him in not just because he had the cold but because of his migraine he had the night before. our temps were all normal anyway which I pretty much already new but covid anxiety makes us more precautious.This year I brought the cake but decorated it myself limited time to do everything fresh myself although i prefer to home bake the cakes.
Dads memory book, he loved it said it was the best present ever, and sitting their with just the 6 of us helped us feel that our family were their to the ones who could travel he for the covid reason and the ones who have passed away all their in a book together.
choosing the layout of how the photos were placed what one went where to sometime to think about the best one for me was the one on the front, i will tell you why when my dad first got his tablet and took the step to go on social media I never thought would have the impact it has on him it has given him a voice , when he is on his own it’s connected him to friends and family. He has his tablet and his dictionary. but it is his late night posts that has us all in stitches laughing.
He came on social media with this one silly photo post that had our Niki screaming from her room my Grandads a legend it was him in side a washing basket popping out like a jack in the box. and since then before covid we avidly looked at his late night post pub post to see what silly thing he has posted. you can’t beat the older generation doing it to make their family smile and grandkids laugh.
My dad when he isn’t Grumpy is super cool and fun to be around, he has really come out of his shell recently.
so the beginning pages of the memory book were photos he posted over the time he has been on social media their is many funny ones so its just showing who he is now and that confident funny personality of his not so much to quite observer of life now.
the second part of the book was photos of his Mum and Dad and Gran and his brothers and sisters if you have been following my blog for a while you will know my dad was one of 11 brothers and sisters and his mother and siblings accept for five passed away from Huntington’s my Gran being the first person we knew of having this genetic disease that changed all our families life and perspectives on life. his father passed young around Fourty five from a brain aneurysm and one brother and sister passed from heart attack, when we were sitting talking in the evening after the children went inside my dad was say wow 70 years old 27 years ago after my heart attack i was thier thinking about writing my will and saying goodbye i never thought i would be here now. it goes to show why you should value every moment you have make as many meories as you can an caputure them. its why i take so many photos people move on from life and are no longer around happens a lot in my family our memories fade as we get older but photos they keep them alive they jog your memory to happy times you spaent together, or challenges you have over come. maybe i am just very soppy and sentimental over memories i want my kids and thier kids to look back and see and feel happy. pass on positives to future generations rather than negatives that reapeat a cycle.
The day was so lovely me and Hayley even danced barefoot on the grass to her favorite tunes while my dad and hubby talked, i love how they can talk for hours and they get on well. I got to dress up which i always love to do.
Jake had his tracksuit on and his dad told him to put something smart on he came down in his suit bless him, he takes things litrally.
Music playing in the back ground, sat round the table the sun shining that is why we worked so hard on the garden so we could all relax and family had a little sacturay to come and chill as life gets so full and stressful sometimes. we have had some amazing get togethers in our little garden in a tiny part of this big world
Thier may have been some alcahol its a special occation the bubbly was lovely , and i won’t tell you i am a bit of a light wait one glass and i tripped over the flower pot. was such alovely day and no littles ones to look after either niki and jake are young adults now so like to potter and do thier on thing they ate with us and pottered in and out the house that’s why we like get togthers at our house if they become over anxious or it gets to much on the social front they can go take sometime to themself and come back when they have that sensory break.
Work Friday with the kiddo’s
Work with the kids friday was fun, wasn’t without a minor wobble from Ellie the oldest but was soon sorted out and space was given and a little after calmdown discussion was had. Mum and dad had thier dinner out and I had it all calm and quite when they returned. Mum and dad got some much needed resipte and adult time.
Tom choose a new book to read together well mostly i read and he listened but he kept touching the book so i held it in front of him and he was trying to mimic reading which is excellent, and so adoralble to experience with him, its actually an excellent book and a must read.
I like to discuss books with the kids after I read with them and toms disabilities are not an excuse not to do the same with him.
How did I explian to him in an easier way in which he avisly listened to by taking about something we play together, knock the elf off the shelf.
We put the elf just out of reach and encourage him to get his arms to get it off having cerebal paulsy his hands cant always do what he wants so many times he misses the target. but then after several attempts and his determination to not give up dispite failing to knock it off he gets it and its that happy squeal of delight he did it, despite failing many times. that is what the book is trying to show. A lesson many of us adults could do with sometimes. Today though little Tom is back in hospital his breathing was bad again dad had to take time off work for other childen mum is with Tomits probally just one of his usual chest infections he gets because of his disability. but the poor thing has to have another coivd test as precaution and they all are self isolating till test results are back. this is reality for many parents and children with disabilities in and out of hospital work not work. it is hard on everyones emotions. But support and finding ways to talk and cope with this and the instability it brings sometimes isn’t always easy. thats why I do the job I do to help.
This week has been slightly wierd as me and hayley rounded up and stopped doing ourdance video’s because of the changes to rules on Facebook, I have kind of felt a little lost not doing them they gave us something tom look forward to and share with family since lockdown begun, oh we still dance and liisten to music but it is quite the same. It became a big stress relief. and we just laughed so much when we did them.
we continue arts and crafts, health, zoom meetings with the day center but not as many now as she will soon start having mornings out and about with the day center staff we are just waiting for the start date and she will be back to some ofher old scedual.
you won’t believe just how much my house is getting back in to order and routine now, its nice and hard not having that locked down way of life, it was way more relaxing and balanced and stress free, now my diary is fiiling up with appointments and reminders and reviews, not to mention early morning alarms. I know this though I GOT THiS I DID IT BEFORE I CAN DO IT AGAIN.
So now I will say good night and wish you a peaceful sleep.
I will leave a couple of links for our book you know Christmas is not long way and it will make a lovely little christmas read
Digital copy Ebook
Goodnight much love Faye xxx