Emo the Emotional Elf

#caring #emotions #mancations #familytime #memories

Hi everyone , hope you are all doing great

Well it’s been a rather busy time since my last blog, not really that long ago i sat down to write nearly every day just didn’t feel that need to write. To be honest i was busy just having fun with the kids and not thinking how to plan out what i am going to write.

I have had a much needed long sleep last night and my head is pretty clear and unrestrained so now i think is a great time to blog.

How many of you Bloggers ever feel this? I mean some of you write multiple blogs a day . Is it something you do for the pleasure of writing?

Or something you do for therapeutic reasons like me, or is it a business for you?.

It has always interested me what gets people into writing, what motivates their posts.

Anyway getting side tracked now thinking about it.

Let’s start this blog


Hubby’s trip away he went to visit a friend for a few days break, which was so good for him, He went to Wales I will start by sharing what me Hayley and the kids got up to, while he was away. I was supposed to be on 9-5 day shifts with Hayley last week but as my hubby was away and child care or should I say young adult care as my kids are not little anymore was not available as he was in Wales we had her stay with us again which she loves anyway. she said she wanted to keep me company, Bless her.

Sorry had to pause blog for a while Niki came in wanting to know if i could put different thing in lunch box when she goes back to college lol a discussion on Tuna and cucumber commenced , it can be hard just to tell them sometimes mum needs to focus on what she is writing , she already had me going upstairs talking about how to straighten her blue hair wig before i even wrote one word. she actually understood though and kind of went on her way, my hubby came in shortly after and started sharing a memory he had from his Dj years he has today reconnected with others he new from that time i guess it is great when you have these really fond memories, which usually I will sit and listen to. But thinking right now I am trying to focus think this blog is going to take a while to write tonight we just need Jake to come down for his nightly chat then we have a hat trick.

It’s a little bit like when your using the ladies room and they are wanting to talk or are bombarding you with questions, even though you say your on the loo, if your a parent I am am sure you know what I am talking about.

So back too the Blog

My hubby got picked up earlier then was planned just because the weather in Wales was bad and their was an issue of rising rivers and possibility of flooding. this is the first time my hubby went away since he used to travel for work and since the kids were diagnosed the last few times he went away was a very tough time for us all heightened by the fact the children’s anxiety at the time he went away was very high, we were going through diagnosis at that time and lots of hospital and doctors appointments , EHCP plans and school issues. some personal issues to. I really didn’t know how the kids or I would feel once he actually started his journey , I am glad I had a friend to talk to this time i guess you have someone to talk to your mind doesn’t take you back to that place the anxiety doesn’t hit you. I feel kind of sorry about how I used to let my emotions drive me nuts at that time and how maybe that also heightened my kids anxiety. Because I was meant to be that calm reassuring influence back then I was just as emotional as the kids.

So dad went on his way Jake got the cleaning bug and tided his room, Hayley and me were listening to music and had her zoom meetings, Niki slept a bit more. then spoke to her Boyfriend Tom.

Oh and sorted my kitchen out to especially my hubbies shelf, I don’t know if he has realized yet I moved his things I am sure he will in time when he is looking for a particular thing he put in a certain place and cant find it. That will be me that moved it. yes i really am that type of ANNOYING wife.

That first night we ordered Pizza with the candles lit and music playing in the back ground we had a fab time.

I love getting the chance to dress up like your going out for a meal earlier in the day Niki tried tie dying her top turned out fab.

Why is it your mans never their when you want to open a jar and you can’t I gave it my best shot though.

We finished dinner before me and Hayley did our dance video something we have continued doing through out lock down. we put them on her private page and share with family. her confidence is growing so much doing them and to be quite honest it really has been super fun doing them. reminds me of the dance classes and dance competitions I did in my teenage years and hitting the dance floor in the clubs which is where I met my hubby. always on the dance floor me from the first song of the evening till it was time to go home. Not nearly as agile as I used to be though clicky hip. Gosh I will be 46 this year but loving growing older.

Hayley went to watch her programs and settle down Jake brought his mattress blankets and teddies in to the front room like they used to when dad traveled and we all snuggled and watched Big fat Greek wedding 2 it’s like they like the movie because it has us roaring with laughter plus they see our own Greek family and Resonate between the characters and our family. They see me as the mum always rushing out to help family and I guess it does get a bit like the Mum and Dad in the movie when is their going to be time for us.

As you can see pillow fights and foot wrestles commenced before we finally settled down for movie, we sat up way into the early hours of the morning talking laughing. Jake was even quietly playing me songs on his keyboard.

We kind of have this thing going if their is no school and dads away no rules no bed time laugh until you drop, I think is great sometimes to let them just be free of any pressures of of normal rules.

So the First day dad was a way I really didn’t get much time to think about missing him or the anxiety, before I would probably have phoned him multiple times really agitated timezones didn’t even come into my head at all . I used to get bloody hell Faye I am sleeping or i am right in the middle of things here I will call you back. I can’t do anything I am not their thinking back to that time i wish i had done things so differently and i am not dwelling on the past just thinking if i was the woman i am today would things have been different over the last couple of years. I wouldn’t change things though from out of all that stress then i have found something different a whole new way of living, I found writing and publishing.

I created something so much more rewarding for my family, we have made so many better memories and faced many fears. you would think my hubby was away for a long time but it was really only 2 nights and three days.

Day 2 was another beautiful day we got to go bowling and had a meal inside the local McDonalds after which we all enjoyed a lot even a small amount of time in the arcade at the bowling alley so glad the cash machine was not working and we could only get a tenner out in cash.

Niki won a teddy after just 2 try’s ,Yes our trips to arcade involve spending lots of money usually on them teddy machines where they pick the teddy up move towards the drop zone only to release just before I am absolutely sure they have something in their programs that only lets you win after you put at least 20 pound in. But it isn’t about the money really it’s the joy on their face when they win it .

Not that you can see the joy as we were all masked up the new way of experiencing going out in public places , the thing is hardly anyone else was wearing masks which was a little shocking because we were told when we booked we would have to wear them. we also had to sign into the government track and trace but we didn’t let anyone near us any way and the lanes were reduced to fit social distancing rules. it really wasn’t as busy as I thought it was going to be.

We were going to do drive through but seeing the Mc Donald’s empty we decided to eat in we all used hand washes regularly we ordered our food and it was brought to our table the kids and Hayley really enjoyed it. You know it’s great to start getting our kids with additional needs prepared before school starts, before returns to colleges and day centers as parents and care givers what we teach they learn and then they are prepared for anything.

When we returned home Niki went to talk to tom Hayley was tired so went to sleep Jake realized a key on his keyboard was working so got all technical and decided to take it apart and fix it , he is so like his Dad , Brother and sister always wanting to fix things and know how they work and fix it he did.

The following day Friday dad was returning , my busy day Friday, normally do Hayley and the kids on a Friday night, well that was the plan Hayley would go home at 5 and then the kids were due to come at 7 and stay the night but I will tell you why that changed later in the blog worked out better really for me this week. my Dad kindly walked over to my house to watch Hayley and the kids so I could get some food shopping i really wanted to make my hubby one of his favorite Greek dinner for when he returned. Niki and Jake cleaned thier rooms i got as much of the house sorted as i could definatlry not a miricle worker but at least when he come through that door the house would look differnt not like a pack of wolves had run riot every where. the candles were lit , thats me a candle type of person i was listening to Nora jones while putting the food in the oven.

I made passtitio and salad, the kids had already eaten and were so glad to see thier dad when he came through that door their was a sent of candles and food. The kids got some Welsh slate as a present Jake not quite sure what to do with it, and Niki absaloutly loving it and will add to her collection of rocks she has collected over the years. We had a meal together almost uninturupted eccept for niki who stood thier talking for a while while we ate and suddley out of no where said I am killing the mood and left. kids they just don’t pick up on the fact mum wants some time to speak to dad and ask about his trip. Do you know something i actually appericate hubby’s kindness for eating a small amount of food , it wasn’t that he didn’t like it or or didn;t appreciate it he never told me he had already eaten and i wantred to surprise him so didn’t tell him I was cooking him a meal. it wasn’t a rest type of time a way all though he did love it it was quite physicl and trying, i could see it and told him it was ok for him to go rest. what happened next made me laugh so hard, hubby layed on spfa put on tv jake brought his keyboard down to show his dad he fixed it and played him a lullaby he learnt, he only went and put his dad to sleep the funiest thing I seen in a long time I am glad I captured it on video. it wwill forever be that one memory that will make me laugh and go arrr all at the same time.

To end my blog for today i am going to share the view of my hubby’s Mancation through his lens. he made me feel included by sharing photo’s through out his time their , I didn’t ask he just shared something we always did before but somehow stopped doing with each other over the last couple of years.

Ffestiniog, in Wales, used to be known as the place that roofed the world.High quality slate had been mined for many years and sent around the world, until the skills of firing clay gave way to roof tiling as we know today.You are surrounded by a rugged beauty of lush vegetation, incredible forests and mountains of discarded slate from years ago. Man made or naturally created waterfalls and incredible features. I have done some long climbs which wrecked the legs, hips and ankles but also gave me some much needed exercise.When you understand the history behind Ffestiniog, you begin to marvel at the human endurance and sheer tenacity that carved out this area years ago.

He has a much better way of writing and explaining things then I do ,I am more simplistic and child like in written word . I am fine with that though because i wouldn’t be me if i tried to do it like anyone else.

I put this in a quote because they are my hubby’s words and I want to show his perspective with out doing it through my voice if that makes sense, how he viewed his trip away, I get the best of both worlds some times the safety of my home and seeing the view of the world through other peoples eyes.

My hubby has traveled so much over the years, America, China, Africa, India and Barbados the way he describes them to me when he returns is with such longing to be where it is different too here. He has always had this hunger for seeing the world and i have have always been quite content in my own little home. I kind of live with this feeling i am truly stopping him from being who he wants to be.

That’s it for my blog tonight, have a beautiful night

Much love Faye xx