#emotions #caring #lockdown #family #love #care #selfhelp #confidence #bookmarketing #Elves #autism #specialneeds #anxiety #mentalhealth

Hi Everyone , How are you ? been a little bit behind in writing my Word Press lately since lock down, but then have been working real hard in my main job as a carer, and also just being mum too. long hours little sleep is not so good for my writing hoping to really start to focus more very soon.

The picture above is one of my all time favorites of me and Hayley during this new time you can probably see its the happiest and most natural one , we seem ro be bring the best out in each other lately. We are quite the mischievous duo. we added video making into our daily routine when she is staying with us, but also we just cant resist doing them when I go to hers to do her zoom meetings.

My stutter seems to be disappearing more each day and I am beginning to feel at ease on screen now Hayley likes to be on screen anyway, there is one thing though there is no rehearsals we post exactly how they happen and never edit, its led to some interesting things coming out of Hayley mouth,

I really would never want to edit or have Hayley any other way . I cant stop watching the videos its like watching someone else. Think sometimes i life you believe yourself certain way, to what others see you as you sometimes convince yourself yo cant do something when really the ability was their all along you were just hiding from it. I watch the videos now and think girl you cheated yourself of some amazing experiences because you told yourself you couldn’t do that. I think now I am just beginning to show myself just what i am capable of achieving. I became an author, I have talked more in the last few years to people then I probably have my whole life. what can I say I cant be an author writing about self help and self confidence if I don’t have it myself. so really that is the most important gift I can give myself. My attitude lately is don’t give yourself the chance to talk yourself out of something, record and post before the anxiety has a chance to kick in and make you second guess weather your doing the right thing.

Some of the best work comes from spontaneous thoughts, from freedom of expression, from the heart with love and passion. with the innocence of seeing through a Childs eyes the world as it is.

The world that it should be, not filled with hate or war, or fragmented, but through laughter, music and love and care creativity and imagination…………

I hold out my hand , to show love and care it’s just unconditional and has always been their.

The way the childrens and Hayley’s eyes light up a room it just chases away that feeling of gloom. It starts as a smile that begins to spread.

The anxiety leaves their is no longer Dread , just a happiness bubbling inside again. but its not trapped inside, it’s out in the open again.

a miracle is happening just wait and see , these introverted people are being set free. A voice that was once trapped is begining to talk, one step at a time it doesn’t matter if you run or you walk.

It started first with writing in hand and then with a voice that came out of her mouth, that one Christmas time Emo Elf arrived at our house.

Our Emo he changed so much in our world, watch out he wants to share his love and message with the world.

Author Faye Farmer

Here are some links to book

Digital download

https://www.kobo.com/au/en/ebook/emo-the-emotional-elf

Paperback

lets talk about my work as a carer and how much it has changed since lock down, but the care and love remain the same. Just the dynamics and time scale that has changed.

I am super involved in all aspects of care so maybe if I bullet point and list them others will see just how much work is involved in the care industry.

Health and fitness

Caring

:Health and fitness. this could be anything from diet and healthy eating choices or managing complicated dietary needs.

: Exercise and weight management finding the correct safe way to achieve this while working with someones disability and limitations. Motivation is another thing.

: Medicine ordering administering and managing any side affects, this has changed a lot over the covid period , actually this has changed a lot here over the last few years changes to medicine too generic forms can bring on some nasty side affects, this i can say from our own families experience so not sure if others have had the same thing but certainly with some medicines for epilepsy and diabetes this has been the case for us. you have to know when to challenge this especially if you work closely and notice a negative impact to someones health.

: I Will give an example Carbomazipan or Tegratol supposedly the same meds how ever the seizures are less and manageable with the Tegratol but the Carbomazipan increased the fits a lot. Now this might not be the same for others but has defiantly been an issue that I brought up with doctors, the other meds it doesn’t happen with only these particular ones. Some of the diabetes ones have caused some major issues when switching the side affects really scary .

The longer your around someone the more you get to know what works and what doesn’t with that person. You really don’t need a medical or pharmaceutical degree to see the impact. It is weather you have the calm communication skills to stand your ground on these important life changing things.

: Peg feeding, aids, hoists, equipment, First aid and health and safety, correct handling of people , managing challenging behavior, sleep issues. all regularly need re training.

: Diaries their are loads of different ones , ones for sleep ones for poop yep I said it their is even a scale of whats normal or not, the well being checks, eyes, ears , blood tests female and male cancer checks . dentists , nails, feet. ECG

: Money management and benefit forms , It is such apian to negotiate the benefit system that is not set out to fully understand the complexity of individual needs, that is something no computer can do not everyone ticks boxes EHCP,

Appeals multiples. Hospital and doctors appointments , discussions on end of life, dealing with family members.

Sometimes death and funerals, RED TAPE and lack of funds reduced support services , LOCKDOWN.

: Carers in care homes., Private carers,Parent and Grandparent Carers not to mention the amazing child carers who should be just kids, but sometimes the family is made to feel they cant ask for help.

: Social services, Police , Internet Safety this is a big one and they really don’t handle or take responsibility of issues. with direct messages. a big lack of mental health services long waiting lists.

; Refusal to assess, due to lack of understanding or funding

This is just part of what it takes to be a care , all this has to be done at the same time as meeting a persons needs sometimes multiple peoples needs. As well as phone calls shopping teaching money skills, and catering to the all important independent living skills, even if in your heart you know they will never be truly independent. You have to make them feel as independent as possible that is where choice comes in their choice and wants need to be met as well as their needs some times they can conflict.

Mental and Emotional health can also have a huge impact on physical health, not just for those that are cared for but the carers to very long hours sometimes, their are quite a few of us parent carers that also work in the care industry maybe we don’t all have the degrees in care but we make awesome care givers for this ever changing sector. We can probably teach others a thing or to you can’t beat hands on experience.

Lets talk about the teaching side social skills , learning technology, building confidence and self esteem.

Changing techniques all the time while still keeping rigid routines now that a tough one sometimes but defiantly achievable if you think outside the box.

I am going to break this up with some photos of some of the methods. I personally use writing for me has had a huge impact on how I work publishing a book has opened my eyes to a new way of working.

Being a mother of autistic children who also have, anxiety disorders, Touretts and depression and sensory issues , eating issue and hypermobiliy difficulties. has broadened my skills vastly and makes me better at my job as a carer.

Arts and Crafts

Cooking

It is a great aid and is another therapeutic thing , a great time to talk about healthy choices experiment with new foods , but also the occasional treats are good too. I mean who doesn’t love to make cakes. But it is also about getting them involved in planting, watering and maintaining Vegetable patch and gardening it is great for you to spend time everyday in fresh air, we don’t always have sunny day’s this is England after all but that outside time is very important. Hayley Is beginning to widen her choice of foods. She is keen to eat things that has been home grown or fruits and veg.

Out and about.

Dressing up

Learning and Reading

This is just a tiny bit of what goes into to caring, and this is mostly with Hayley in these photos but as i catch you up on everything that has been going on here, you will get a bigger insite.

Much love Faye xxxx