Emo The Emotional Elf

#emotions #funerals #inmemory #covid #huntingtons #care #family #love

I dedicate this post In memory of my Aunt June Hord 3rd of June 1958 April 2020

larger than life the way i love to remember her

As you probably already aware from previous post that my aunty June recently passed away of Covid -19 , cause of her death and secondary cause Huntington’s disease well not so recently it was actually in April, it is just that it took time to arrange the funeral due to the covid crisis.

Let me tell you a little about my aunty before the Huntington’s became the thing that affected many parts of her life, she was one of the crazy aunties a little like myself in that she loved to dance her and my other aunty Christine one of her sisters introduced me to the joy of pubs and night clubs when I became of an age to go. we would all dress up in our club worthy outfits and make our way first to the local then on to the local club where we would hit the dance floor without a care in the world and dance the night away,i recently just started the dating scene but never really was bothered too much about that i was just loving the freedom of being on that dance floor, and boy could they dance.

June had a tendency to place her hand bag on the floor and yes in them days we really did dance around the handbags . Both June and Christine loved each other a lot but boy you wouldn’t want to get between these too sisters when they were arguing. June I Believe was no longer married at this time and had 2 children, her beautiful daughter Stacey.

The Proudest moment seeing your daughter Marry she was so happy.

Also a son but for reasons I don’t want to say, he will never get a mention in my posts because he doesn’t deserve it. Anyway One of our nights out ended up with the most beautiful addition to our family our Paige.

She is a stunner and her Mum was so Proud she went off to uni

June was also a Chloe and Lily, they didn’t get to be at the funeral neither did her sons children Grace and Millie.

For me their was very happy early memories of her but for her girls those memories were taken away by the Huntington’s to June’s children my parents were like second parents who stepped in when June was not able to be the mum she should have been not because she didn’t love them but because she was ill it wasn’t really till Paige turned 14 that we really started to notice the signs of the illness and only after Paige went to live with my mum and dad that the progression of it got worse. we managed to get her some home care but one of the carers that were provided stole from her, not just a little bit but systematically as soon as her money went in her bank, it wasn’t until they tried to apply for her birth certificate we were alerted to what went on. she was a brave woman and with our help we reported it to police and June went to court even with her Huntington’s and wanted to see this woman never did it again, sadly June wasn’t the only one this person did it too, she continued to live on her own for a while but she never really regained trust again for home help she had a fall and ended up in hospital where they discovered some old heeled broken bones, we had to fight real hard to get her into a care home with more specialized support, she went to the same one as her sisters and brothers and great uncle David were at. David ,Pauline later 2 more siblings joined her, and she lost some for legal reasons I cant talk about this beautiful part of my families journey at this place other then we lost uncle David , followed by great uncle David then Christine and Susan. all in such a short space of time its been so hard on all my family, The next sibling that passed was uncle Mickey he didn’t have Huntington/s but it was a sudden death of a man that was physically healthy and just popped home from work . June and Pauline were moved to a new care home together where Junes life sadly ended this care home were and are fantastic and still caring for our aunty Pauline who surprisingly was the first female of the siblings to be diagnosed with it her oldest Brother Jimmy who also had Huntington’s passed away a long time ago after being hit by a car , but she has this strong will to live. so out of the 11 brothers and sisters and just before lock down we buried my aunty violet who died suddenly at Christmas.

So now there Is my Dad, my aunty Barbara, aunty Pauline and Mark left uncle mark is the youngest sibling and he also has Huntington’s but for now he still lives at home with his daughter,

At least June and Pauline were together at the home there bond stronger then ever .

Together June always wanting to know if her sister was ok and where she was

The Funeral

The funeral a cremation was just so traumatic to go through because of the social distance it made it feel so wrong to say goodbyes that way, only 7 of us in attendance her 2 beautiful baby girls, My mum and dad me and My brother Chris and Hayley.

we had to stand 2 meters apart by the hedge while the funeral car drove up we didnt get to have family carrt her inside we could stand close see see her carried in, she was wheel in there ,once she was in place we had 2 go and sit on the chairs where they were layed out, Hayley is special needs so not being able to sit close to her was very tough. or hug anyone. and while the whol,e thing felt very dijointed and some what cold , my amzaing Mum had been sorting this out while she was ill herself she came despite it, there was no way we would ever of keped her at home shielding , the docs gave her ok to attend.as we took our place Hallelujah by Leonard cohen played, followed by the reading by the celebrant and The psalm 23 was read.

My mum choose a poem and bravely sat in her chair to read it. I am going to share it because it was beautiful. it was so hard on her girls because they would of been thier for her final moments if they were allowed, but they just feel roobed of that like they were robbed of thier mother most of thier lives due to Huntingtons.

If i only had five minutes the day you passed away, i would of had time to tell youall the things i wanted to say.

I never got to tell you how much you ment to me or that you were the best mum better then any woman could be.

The last time i talked to youi wish i would of know, i would of said i loved youand kept you on the phone.

If only i had five minutes the morning you passed away, i’d give you one more hug so tight and see your biggest smile.

I’d tell you that i don’t think i could live without you even for a little while.

Id kiss your cheek and take your hand and tell you it’s ok to go. And tell you that i would miss you more than you will ever know

But you were gone so quickly one last car ride you would take. before you even knew it you were standing at heavens Gate.

Now god has called upon youits time to get your wings. to leave this life behind you. And enjoy Heavens beautiful things .

So wait for me in heaven Mum,D ont leave me to come alone.

the day the angels come for me be there to bring me home.

Such a powerful and beautiful poem I am not sure who wrote it but it was a beautiful and biffiting poem for my aunty June and her girls and all of us just typing it out now has brought tears to my eyes, it truly touched my heart, and reminded me of my baby angel amy maybe it is just a switch of children i look out for hers and she joins mine,

She is with her mum and dad and many brothers and sisters sometimes after a funeral you look out for any sign they have arrived in heven that night as i drove to work this beautiful rainbow crossed the sky and it reminded me of something that was said at my uncle micks funeral , His grandkids had some skittles you no the sweets and they were all rianbow colours, someone said i think it was there mum when you see a rainbow think of grandad, the day of mickeys funeral there was a double rainbow it was like thier grandad had met up with his step sonwho passed, so now seeing a rainbow will make me think all my aunties and uncles are in heaven together, i know them all well and the Hords will be having one very big reunion party. like they diid when they were here.

After my Mum read the poem it was my turn to get on the stage and say what i remembered about june but also to say this.

Being a mother is not always about being thier every day doing the job of bringing you up the day to day nuture love and care, Sometimes being a mum is different sometimes it is handing over your babiies to someone you trust to do all the things you couldn’t, noing they are in the safest hands noing they will love you like there own and give you the skills you need to take you to youre grown up life. its being proud of your kids and loving them but not being able to show it, its signing the forms so you can go to uni, she did love you she was just ill.

The lords prayer was the next thing before another song her daughters choose.

Anything for you by Gloria Estafan. for the girls the words are maybe away to express when they no longer could stay with thier mum “since you said were through” these girls or know one should ever have to go through that.

Huntingtons is horrible but covid took the last of junes life the last of her kids memories.

With the the celebrant going to the coffing and bowing his head in respect and leaving us in the room to take our last few moments thier ,the last song came on, I choose this one.

we left the church and the girls hearts were braking and i dont care if it was allowed or not i oulled them in and gave them a big hug, we all had masks on there isnt any way as a mum i could just stand there and take that.

There was no after get together no final celebration of life we will do that when our whole family can get together. we will give her the biggest send off and scater her ashes somewhere beautiful and free. Just like she is from the confines of the Huntingtons.

saying goobye is always so hard i carry a heart of a lost family with me where they will always have a special place