#author #emotions #book #caring #sayinggoodbyes #autism #anxiety #mentalhealth #valentines

Hi everyone, hope you are all well.

It has defiantly been a bit of a emotional time since the last blog, lots going on good, sad, happy a little bit stressful at times. I should have blogged it out before for now but I would sit with my WordPress open and the words just didn’t come as easy as they usually do, maybe just a little bit of writers block or maybe it is just I am a little tired still trying to shake the winter cold. we have left January and now entering the month of romance and love.

A great month for getting the classic love stories or poetry, we are a week away from the most romantic day of the year. We shared our last one with Niki and Jake, this time I have a night shift but still going to have my little meal at home with my hubby like we do every year simple homely and so me.

Our last One was so much fun its going to be hard to do better this year we always love to include the kids.

I am a hopeless romantic type of person.

I always like to start blogs on a positive and end on a positive then put the more difficult suff in the middle.

So now for the sad part my aunties funeral, it was a beautiful and peaceful send off, just a quite graveside goodby followed by a little gathering at my dads house, I met my aunties Grandchildren for the first time, they handled it so well my cousin I haven’t seen since childhood. I really have been to so many funerals it is hard not to constantly feel sad.the Night and morning before little Jake me and my Mum all prepared the food. I was so proud of Jake because he really wanted to help, even though he found the scents and touching part of preparation hard he didn’t stop. Jakes my sensitive one he is the one who pics up emotions very easy and will be at your side constantly he has a deep understanding of emotions. My little chatter box who likes to talk about how he feels. That has been the biggest change in him since diagnosis,

It was great to spend the couple of days with my Mum and dad too.

My brother his wife, Hayley my hubby and me were there for my cousins and my mum and dad, our children were in school. but they came after and loved spending time together.

So the day was difficult but you also have too celebrate the person she was and the fact she was an amazing mum, wife and Grandma. I truly hope her sad passing on Christmas eve doesn’t affect those nearest too her with sadness but they remember the fun loving side of her.

The other challenges that have come up

Well i have already in previous blogs spoken about Hayley being put on life long services and the day after the funeral was when we had a big meeting with the new team and her day center services key worker, well just as i got back from the funeral i noticed 2 new messages on phone first i thought it might be something with the kids as usually I don’t have my phone on silent but it was actually someone on that team phoning to cancel as the person was in hospital, , I guess we will have to wait again this is not a one off thing you would be surprised how many times this happens .

The other phone call was from Niki’s college wanting to book her EHCP for next week, and that i needed to fill in parent part of the form and bring it to meeting I received it Friday, first of all they never give enough time to properly think about what you want to add in this very important form but the form itself , does not adequately give you much space to write what you need to what needs adding. I hope this time though all of Niki’s Diagnosis gets added to this form and they can actually give post 20 advice because i may know and have experience in bringing up kids on the spectrum but it is my first time supporting an adult on spectrum and that in itself is the thing that i think worries parents the most, how can we continue to have our adult children’s needs met while letting them grow their independence, how to meet there needs and wants at the same time. how to insure the support they need stays, and how to keep the level of communication we need as parents to keep our kids safe.

Niki also had her pip assessment come up which they did over the phone with me this time. we now have an agonizing five to nine weeks wait to see if they will still give this to her or not. It also brings a big challenge to our finances for supporting her ,We have to embark on the universal credit journey due to my income, it worries me the stories of families left in debt by something that is not fully up and running without issues. All parents with special needs kids have to rely on outside agencies getting things right.

This time though I have had to admit to myself I need some help and support with this new complicated system so have booked in with the local citizens advise for help, have that appointment on Thursday i guess i can relax a little when it has been done.

Now that bits been spoken about I can go on to share our Jakes birthday with you all, my youngest has turned fifteen on the 5 th of February.

He had a peaceful but great birthday. Even though most of it was spent at school.

Anxiety help

We have used many things over the years to help with anxiety Lego being a big one for Jake especially when he was a school refuser it used to get him through the school gates carrying a small bag to do when he first got to school. it was a self calming technique he made some beautiful things. I just mentioned in passing about decorating his room again and asked what he wanted to do with his shelves he made a huge decision to take his Lego apart and get it ready to sell , it has caused a bit of anxiety doing this and i have defiantly noticed an increase in his jumping another sign of his anxiety , plus he is really saying he feels very sad, although it was his choise I wasn’t expecting it to happen as quick as it did , that’s my kids they they get hyper focused on doing something and don’t stop till it is done, he not only spent 2 nights taking it apart, he washed, dried and colour coordinated it in to bags, Niki helped I helped and his new friends gave him moral support as they have already gone through the good bye of their LEGO and remembered how hard it is to give up something that gave you comfort when you needed it most. It isn’t the first time though he gave something up just that quick he also did it with his chew toy which he had for nearly three years, one day he just didn’t have the urge to chew things and that was it he didn’t use it again. he only occationally chews things now just if he is really stressed.

Night shift last Saturday not my normal working night but a small change in their parents plans had me switching shifts.

I had a great night shift with Hayley and the kids last week , lots of fun with them all cooking , one at a time but they all joined in

First Little Tom made his favorite chocolate cakes

Next up was holly and her fairy cakes

Older siblings sometimes feel left out just because the needs of their sibling.

Hayley was next she choose to make trifle for her Sunday pudding

We then chatted, had a little bit of fun before everyone settled down for sleep.

Thay slept so well

The morning was easy all working together to get ready to go home all in amazing moods. Tom especially happy and cheeky.

Little Tom all chatty

Book

I am continuing to build my author page, social media and promoting book, Slowly it is beginning to come together and I am get some reviews and sales. I am begging to have ideas in my head ready to start the planning if new books, I got my Second lot of royalties £3 not going to make a difference to my life at the moment but maybe it made a difference to someone else’s life for that moment they were lost in the book. that’s why you do it. Why you really want to write.

Any way I seem to have a little bit of my writing flow back tonight, thanks for reading have a beautiful night ,

much love Faye xx

Here is the link to paperback on amazon uk

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1916070302

Here is the Kobo Ebook Link

https://www.kobo.com/gb/en/ebook/emo-the-emotional-elf