Hi all 😀
It’s that time of night when the house is quite , I am left alone in my thoughts. I often have more questions I ask myself then I ever have answers for. Most of them have many different answers depending on different perspectives.
I have learnt to see further than my own perspective on many things over the last couple of years.
Many things from behind a screen that’s the way it is for alot of people.
I have joined a few groups recently some to do with parenting autistic children, and I realise I have had the same days before as some who are going through diagnosis now or have there children recently diagnosed.
There is a common thing, of parents not wanting to go out with there kids because of meltdowns. I was the same in the early stages, slowly feeling like I can’t go out with my kids. I still tried despite it we just would go home if it was to much for the kids to handle or us too.
The feeling of being overwhelmed because you can’t calm your child with a hug or by couching down and talking to them. I feel for these kids and thier parents.
A lot of what they say so closely resembles much of your own life at that stage confusion, frustration, bewildered, emotional, and then calm when it subsides and they find a way out of what made them melt down in the first place. Then they are smiling and laughing as if it never happened in the first place and you feel like mum again.
Strange way of putting it down on paper but what it felt like at the time. In the early days of diagnosis this would happen multiples times a day from both my kids. So as a parent you are always on edge waiting and wandering when it would happen again.
We have all had to learn this new subject autism together at the same time like meeting for the first time at the school gates then learning to read in another language. You start off hearing new words, new paragraph’s new chapter’s till you have a leaflet, a booklet a folder that grows into a story of this other life that is now all of yours my kids didn’t find it easy to accept or understand what is autism and what it is like to be autistic.
The thing was how can I teach them about it when I am learn about it at the same time as them.
Now we all know so much more this is where acceptance as a family comes into play . We can go on and help other families by showing what made life easier for us.
My kids now tell me if something doesn’t help and I am able to do things with them that really targets what does help.
I am to instinctively know what they need now , not neccasserily everything they want but what they need, like being a first time mum and they hand this little baby over and some how you know what to do.
I can only really ever give my own perspective but maybe by giving it my kids know that it has always been for them and a want for them to not struggle through life that the most mistakes along the way happened.
Find someone to talk to what ever difficulties you have don’t ever feel ashamed to not talk. Don’t forget Thier is a large community of adult autistic people out Thier that have grown from kids who are autistic.
They can be a great source of understanding about what causes difficulties and what helps.
Much love Faye XX