Hi all the day went well.

Although there is something about these days that bring back so many fond memories there are times when nots great ones just appear from no where intruding on your positive thoughts.

It isn’t just my kids that sometimes have this but us adults too.

There have been many things my hubby and I wanted to do with our kids that just never seemed the right moment or time. Or even the ability to do them for many different reason.

It isn’t something we can change or rewrite or make them go away it was what it was at the time. It still pops up for know reason at the wrong moment.

You beat yourself up for letting it take hold even if it’s a split second or a minute or longer.

It so hard to explain how it makes you feel in that moment it hits. Maybe anger, guilt, deep seated regret.

Or is it infact anxiety that gives us this false sense of what should have been or even privious plans you make along time ago a wish or a dream that never had a chance to take place because of unforseen circumstances.

The kids had a lovely day relaxed they joined in the fun sat at the dinner table and ate there meals with us this is progress right, or is it something you do because it is classed as normal.

Our family is far from societies standard of normal, we are who we are that’s not a bad thing just we work differently it works for us anyway.

I want our kids to join in they want to not because they have too, I want them to experience what it’s like to matter and to feel wanted and encluded .

We made sure there food was as similar to ours just with the foods they eat.

Eating issues mean that dinner has not always been as relaxed as we like but today it was cool and special and over the last couple of years as we have began to understand the complexities around the children and food we have had a lot more positive moments of sharing the dinner table with each other. They stay as long as they can cope when they have enough they put there plates on the side and go and chill. No judgement or recriminations I guess we adults are learning alot as we go along and we are more adaptive to the struggles they face.

A lot of the time it is the outside pressure about the food that causes added worry when we try to just relax, put it on the plate , stave them, send them to there room. It may work for many but has never worked for us and our kids. We tried that advice it made it more intense and inhanced the eating issue.

You will find the more you read my post the more there is this contradictory posts about our several different realities we live. It depend on the day the emotions of each of us, inside and out side anxieties and issues.

My kids have different complexities to there needs at different times but for now there is a stability and an ease up on the anxiety front .

We are all learning to be better at talking about emotions and just saying what we feel. Before it was melt down then shut down and nothing was ever spoken about or dealt with so the next time it happened it all came out in an garbled mess, things that are relevant to the moment and things that happened long ago.

It certainly was trumatic at times for us all in different ways, for parents it is the inability to take away Thier children’s pain and suffering.

Trying to help but sometimes making it worse, now there is a thought maybe by sharing and talking about it it helps my kids see that I really am by Thier side supporting them the best way I can.

I won’t ever ignore my children’s mental and emotional health. They are an important part of being able to live a rewarding and meaningful life.

Any way I feel myself relaxing as I am writing.

Good night all 💗😀

Much love Faye XX