Niki’s birthday was a little difficult, I got myself in a bit of a state, the thing is the last couple of months have been really full on. Lots more hospitals doctors bills.

For ever good thing that happens something pops up to throw me off course.

It is what it is though her presents were late , seeing her sit there with just a couple of token presents and her presents from Jake made me feel so guilty.

Thankfully I managed to put a smile on face for the kids.

Must apologise to my parents and hubby and oldest for venting to them.

It’s understandable that sometimes I am a little under prepared. Just not like this year.

It is why I have made a tough decision to put the release of book off temporarily till I have sorted the important things out first.

I was ready and excited , and slowly getting through list of things , having that overwhelming feeling again is a bit of a wake up call to take a step back and revaluate everything.

The book was writing to take anxiety away and bring some sunlight and laughter back to our family, and it worked the book is evidence of that.

Special times shared with our family to strengthen bonds and get people talking again.

But recently the stress it has caused since the publishers went bust and siezed trading, I think everyone picks up on the tension I feel. That’s not a good thing in an autistic family it’s unsettling and that is just not what I want.

I am not saying it’s going to be easy to put it to one side because it isn’t it’s something I don’t want to do because it helped me smile, that is truly what I beileve made the difference.

The author event is still going ahead and I am going to be speaking and hopefully selling some books there then maybe I will have some reviews by the time I am ready and have more time on my hands. Hopefully also a little bit of savings to carry it forward and give it my all.

That’s all I have for today I have a long drive tomorrow.

We are off to comic con I was silently hoping I could get my hubby to come but it’s a big no-no for this, but he did help make the tenticals for Jake’s outfit , plus I have a day with Niki ,Jake ,Tom and my Josh.

Good night all

Love Faye xx