Hi all, hope your day is good, time will tell wether my book will sell or get revenues I hate the suspence.

My goodness it messes so much with my emotions it’s hard always channelling them. I feel like an imposter dabbling in this new world bare my soul in the form of a book,

Disability, mental health,autism, anxiety, depression, it has followed my family for many years we can’t change it it is always there.

I guess the book as much as it is about fun loving elves is more to me then that.It is so personally attached to the heart of my family.

I am going to be total honest  on bad days we seem to all withdraw and isolate our selves from each other I think it is more of a protective and self healing thing knowing that your not at your best and wanting to protect your loved ones from how you feel.

We got good at that hiding from each other, not talking about important things shutting it down and just pretending it isn’t happening this is something I hate having hanging over us.

I think it is a primal human thing to protect one’s heart.

I have learnt alot you can’t hide things they have a way of coming back a keeping you in a place that prevents you from healing prevents you from trusting.

We are made up of many emotions isn’t it an important thing to recognize all of them pay attention to all them emotions. So that they don’t hinder growth, love.

I will always feel like an imposter in the writting form because scars from a very young age are hard to get over .

I remember being six and having extra lessons to help with spelling there was one perticular word that I just could get or remember the pressure of remembering trying for weeks on end to spell (Yaught) it is still there this over whelming pressure to not mess up my words.

When I read I love reading so very much I have read thousands of books in my life time starting with Peter and Jane the old ladybird books.

I have a big interest in reading anything, from true stories, romance novels, kids book with my own kids.

But even encyclopedia’s and  medical journals, the medical journals come from a fond memory of sitting in my Nans house, hearing talk about medical issues between my mum nan and aunts.

I guess our family has kept the doctors nurses and everyone in that type of work busy for years.

Maybe I should of chosen a medical researcher as a job, I could of if I new how to pronounce the words.

I don’t like to leave medical or mental health to fester till it is dangerous.

I am always proactive on preventing illness, getting fit and healthy.

You know it is not easy to manover around the online side of this especially.

When you work hard at getting your wordpress started, the fact that it would ultimately shares to my other sites like Facebook, Twitter and linkedin made it alot easy, for me anyway I am wondering how now the impact on our WordPress sites for some of us newbie published authors, not being able to share automatically will be affected by it I know I have more chance of getting my writting and book out there using all these but being a parent of 2 children on the spectrum and as a carer for my work how much time I can get to copy and paste URL . For me I find it highly frustrating doing that it takes time and I tend to rush that’s when I make the miner mistakes with my words.

I still now go back after I published and occationaly correct things if I have time. But also if my brain notices the mistakes.

Maybe by continually checking over and over I take a little bit of the passion and flare when I write it the first time.

How many of you are more established,? How long does it take to reach bigger audiences?

I have insomnia some nights because my kids do I can’t sleep till they are asleep. This I think is the only time I can write and read others posts I am trying to read as many other wordpress pages as I can because to engage with them I think is important I might take a little time to comment or like but right now I am trying to understand others passions and stories .

You are all great writers on here, I don’t want to be sitting on a bench forever watching others i am here to stand up and be counted as a published author, even when my self doubt comes in there is a man beside me saying he is proud that is the most AWSOME feeling.

I could go on talking forever but my brain is starting to hurt 😀

I always sign my posts like a letter because it is almost a diary just a very public one now and that is always a good thing getting my thoughts out of my head and on to paper. The biggest change of my life, I feel exposed and vunrable but also empowered and strong iam all of those things.

Have a beautiful week

Love Faye