Hi all i hope this update finds you all in a settled place , one thing i know about emotions and and mental health and autism and anxiety, is that days can be very mixed we as parents or carers learn to adapt and be content with what it takes to have these things in our life.
we cannot change that but we can learn to grow and help ourselves along the way, the last couple of weeks have been so very busy and so relaxing at the same time, spending time with our oldest son. celebrating his birthday and my book, and all the amazing changes, progress and life experiences we have had over the last year it seems our life now has begun to change for the better.
There is certainly a lot more acceptance and understanding of the diagnosis that my children have and while no parent or person wants to be seen as a diagnosis without it the support and understanding is vastly lacking the fight for services will always continue as our country start to grow in understanding that these support services make a huge difference to the lives of those who may need it.
Me i am still learning as much as i can to help my kids negotiate life, to live to laugh to love to thrive. for the children it is still a little difficult to understand why them, and why others can be their still trying to figure out where they fit in.
For Niki at her graduation the other day i think she felt it she was so excited to be moving back to mainstream college, when the day finally came to say goodbye to her teachers and friends she didn`t expect to feel the sadness she felt. when she first went to this special school it was difficult, not because the school was wrong, but because the years of exclusion and inability had made it so very difficult for her to trust anyone. the first few months there she will say were hard she pushed people away, but one thing change and it stayed changed the exclusions didnt happen infact the school didn`t send her home and i didn`t pick her up either. I know that was the best thing for her she was able to learn to self regulate and understand her own emotions, the school understood that she did infact have tourettes as well as autism and really bad anxiety.
This really did make a huge difference on how others perceived her as a person, in time the verbal side of the tourettes calmed a little, and she learned to channel it to small physical tics, you see schools have a small understanding of autism but the other hidden diagnosis like tourettes and anxiety are the things that are more difficult for them to understand. the more pressure the more it happens the more attention to it the more stress and it is like a circle going round. the stress and anxiety build witch then makes the tics happen more.
Both Niki and Jake also have issues with sensory aspect as well, the physical things affect them to Jake has to now have tests for vitamin d deficiency, Niki has started her cause of it and folic acid due to being a little anemic. as you can see these issues may be tiny but to us they are big.
My family to me no matter what i am proud, what ever comes up i am as a mum more centered to deal with it, it was over whelming and anxiety inducing and pretty scary to start with but now it is OK, Now we are ready and more than capable of facing these challenges head on, of staying grounded to who we truly are and where we fit into this world, and it is like before, only better stronger and wiser.
This year i have seen them go to prom, take tests, sit in a dentist chair have blood tests and build new relationships with others i see them learning to trust again i have seen them show a great understanding to others in how they act i have seen them overcome a lot.
We also have had a lot of family pass over the last couple of years it is a lot for a family to take in, process and adjust to but really we are only just beginning to fully understand and be cool with all the emotions we as human beings go through.
life doesn`t have to be complex and complicated, it is what we do to change our perception of ourselves.
love to you all have a beautiful week ahead
Faye xx