Today The book was back from the type setters, Today has been a varied mix of emotions for me I think the reality that the book is complete and it will be out in the world for all to see is giving me so much pride but also so much anxiety

This is real Thier is no turning back, I have done something amazing and new, now the work really begins and that is pushing past the shy side of me, it still bothers me to speak face to face with people I don’t know sometimes I can’t even get what I am trying to say out Infront of my hubby and he knows me the most in a way noone ever has or will.

I feel really bad that he sees me cry sometimes, but today the impact of it all made me cry like a child.

I sometimes wonder if this is why my kids have trouble finishing there work because once it is finished the good or bad critics come into play. I am up for both. But still doesn’t get rid of that gut wrenching naw in the middle of your tummy. The nerves have made it difficult to eat at times because it causes indejestion. The same time as writing this book I have been recovering from tummy issues and working hard on gaining wieght. The thought at the time that it was cancer sent a shock wave through me and my hubby the kids just knew I had a bad tummy.so we could not add more worry to Thier little shoulders. The book gave me a different focus and a level of control about feeling confident to talk and speak up in meetings.

Are their any other autism authors that know this journey as well as me unfortunately the answer is yes. It is a constant battle for services and suport.

I really don’t think that is likely to change and it is most definatley the most challenging part for me anyway.

The Elves were a fun way of us learning to just be who we are. That day something took my eye to the elves in the shop it inspired me for many reasons I love using imagination with kids I am still into fairies first as a child then as a mother it’s the mystical and magical feel it gives you like anything is possible if you just beileve.

A prominant  memory for me with the kids was watching Peter Pan and Tinkerbell laying on the floor because someone said fairies weren’t real and her sparkle slowly disappeared then Peter said to say I believe in fairies over and over my Niki me and dad were all saying it together it was that look in Niki’s eyes the glint of imagination excitement surprise when Tinkabell jumped up. I do could capture it in a jar forever I would we were smiling laughing crying at the same time.

This is Emo to us and the other kids it’s magic to them makes them feel good to here positive things being said about them and too them.

Do any help with donations or shares would be appreciated

Much love Faye