Many who have been on this journey before me, many who are going on the the journey now and those who have yet to discover this journey in the future, it is most definatley the most challenging and rewarding experience you can ever go though as a parent.
You not only learn about your children and others but it gives a much deeper understanding of yourself as a person, its ok to not know who you are to get court up in being a parent because you just love your kids no matter what, you love them with all your heart, you love them even when they are saying i hate you or throwing things, deep down just like you know you love them you also know they love you too and dont really mean what they say, they are just communicating on the only way they know how in that particulate moment. the way the wont let you comfort them in there most deepest hardest moments .
As a parent you will be judge on so many levels by so many people friends family loved ones schools and professionals in many fields, you will feel many different emotions at different stages sad, happy, angry,, emotional, wrought, overwhelmed, and isolated and grief for how you thought your life and family would be all these feelings are OK they are very much the makings of you and the essence of who you are , your confidence vitality and strength will seem at moments that you can`t carry on or that your kids will be better off with out you , like you failed at the one thing you always wanted to be a mother to grow that tiny little baby inside you to feel the movement to hold those tiny little hands to en-capture your child’s imagination the and moment you first look into there eyes and they look back so trusting you feel the sudden rush of love, a feeling many women have felt.
It is OK you know anyone who says mother hood is easy is so wrong, it is something you continue to learn all through your life your going to make mistakes your not always going to get it perfect but inside you is an instinct and maybe that mothers instinct is what pushes us to get what our kids need in life as a mother of beautiful funny bright children who are also kids with autism amongst other things i have learned an huge a mount and who is my best teacher it is my kids always they challenge me they sometimes drive me crazy but they also inspire me to be the best version of myself.
When we finally got the diagnosis it was just a huge relief because now i know now i can fight for the support now i can show the tough loving mother i am, The advocate for their rights their person they can tell anything to and i will love them regardless,
For me i have had my eyes opened wide i have learned and studied everything i think i need to know, so when you feel this way and someone who has been on the journey already before you just messages you and says your doing a great job, they mean it from the bottom of there heart.
once diagnosis happens you are still going to have to battle to get and keep support your still going to have good days and bad days just don`t give yourself such a hard time be kind to yourself and think of all the fun things you have done with your kids over the years think of the moment your kids looked up at you that very first time you met and the struggles you have gone through to get right where you are in this moment in time.
Think i created this beautiful yes they maybe be different to the idea of who we thought they would be because we live in a society that tells us about milestones and personalities and accomplishments and then look at how the world is edited to make it look perfect, when everyone knows it is not the reality, we all come in different outer packages, we are all born to be that is why finger prints are individual to a person.
JUST BE YOU AND LET THEM BE THEM