First let me wish you all a beautiful day.
As a mum with children who suffer with these issues, not because they’re bad or misbehaved or children with no respect or bad manners, but because they have these issues.
Others don`t like to hear or adapt to their different way of thinking, or they take things so personally when the children have these outburst, maybe there thinking all the above things or maybe they feel awkward and out of their depth.
Unsure how the best way to de escalate the behaviour and gain some sort of control over the situation, i just like to tell you it from how my children see it, and what we have experienced on this journey.
I have had the words i am experienced in this area i have been doing it 20 years or this is MAINSTREAM my god i HATE HATE HATE !!! that saying so much it screams you don’t fit we don`
t want those who don`t think the mainstream way, it gets me so angry and shows that they expect our kids to adapt to their way of thinking, and not them adapt to our childrens different way of thinking, and they wonder why they then can`
t break though the child's barrier
By the way it is a defence mechanism our children sometimes use, reject before your rejected, high state of anxiety to them is a real threat, you are going to receive a very big fight or flight message, you may even have to batten down the hatches and hold on for dear life.
Many of these children have been continuously excluded from everything, from playground fun, to pe lessons or school in general from peers party`s even in some cases there own family very sad fact but true.
These children are often on high state of emotion, due to sensory issues, lack of sleep and limited diets, they do have trouble multiple times a day with either very happy moods to suddenly very unruly moods, it is understandable adults have trouble knowing the best thing to do in this situations, Heck there was a time even i was out of my depth and extremely overwhelmed by it all you get all the anger all the these very intense emotions directed your way it is hard not to take it personally but even behaviour the appears intentional is not always what it seems, with these tics especially tourettes it is portrayed in the media as just swearing but it is more it is a condition made up of simple vocal tics or multiple things said out of context to situation where it would be deemed unusual .
For example going into an airport and saying the word bomb you know you can’t do that but the urge to say it has to be relieved and it comes out and then the tic is released ,many times people laugh at these things even sometimes the people that actually say it not because they find it funny but because they know what they said was wrong but they were forced to do it.
an other example is suggestive tics in that you draw attention to it.it will get worse because you are putting the sufferer under the microscope and highlighting in front of everyone they are saying something wrong then they get the urge to say it again and again which further makes the sufferer s anxiety build more they are told not to do it again so this is what escalates a behaviour.
By ignoring it you are reducing the confrontation,which in turn reduces the anxiety, of the tic in the first place. It is then that the person who suffers manages to get it under control themselves.
Complex movements like distorting body into different unusual positions.
To be diagnosed with Tourettes you undergo an intense four hour assessment. If i had the choice to not have my children labeled, and suffer from these things, and take it all myself , i truly would !! but i can’t change what is.
All i can do is educate those around my children and those who work with my children. How they are individually affected by these things, although same diagnosis they both display different things from each other at different times and it most certainly affected by how they are treated by others.
So my kids also have autism!! It affects their interaction with others they are very black and white thinkers, they have a lot of repetitive and restrictive behaviours this is the area they both scored off the charts on. They have self regulating behaviours that not only go with the Tourettes, but also the autism, you could say the anxiety as well because even those without these issues have self regulatory behaviours they display.
They are very much perfectionists as well so finishing work a huge problem as some has to see read and judge it so for a perfectionist this is truly hard.
These are many things we as a family have to deal with all the time, we are working on it, and the emotions and how they are all important and how we can all learn things to help ease it a little.
The most important thing to realise is we are just humans, a man, a woman as individuals. As well husband and wife, the children are just that children looking up to us adults for safety a place to express their feelings they are yet to understand and control, guidance to self regulate, and to navigate and negotiate their own way in the world.
A world that should be kind, considerate, caring, and loving.
A nurturing environment surrounded by love and understanding of differences on race gender , religion,ability or disability. But is still falling short on ALL!!!
My family unique and perfectly imperfect in every way its called `